If you’re new to game, you should only be wondering one thing: how to develop self-confidence. More than a good opener, being good-looking or even having a ton of money, a positive self-image is going to help your success with women.
Self-worth is not something you can fake, but it is something you can develop if you try.
Guys that have high levels of self-confidence tend to not even think about how they talk to women or the best strategy for being attractive. They just sort of assume that women already want them, and then proceed from there.
When it comes to how to develop self-confidence, you’ll have to start from the inside out if you want it to seem real and genuinely self-assured when you’re talking to a woman.
There are things that you can do in between your nights out gaming that may not seem like they’re directly related to picking up women, but over time you’ll start to see working on your inner-game and your opinion of yourself will help your social life.
It just takes some time and a willingness to believe that changing some of your thinking patterns is possible.
What Is Self Esteem
There are a lot of ways you can define self-esteem, but in its most simple terms its confidence or assurance in one’s own worth or abilities. A lot of guys think they can fake this kind of attitude, but the truth is women can sniff it out from a mile away.
Feigned confidence, often times comes off as insecurity and does more harm than good. It’s a much better approach to take a step back and really ask yourself how you feel about, well, you.
Really confident people believe that they can do damn near anything. For a guy who’s looking to improve his skills with women, developing this attitude is key.
Related: Why Self-Esteem Is Critical To A Healthy Sexual Relationship
If you’re having trouble building confidence in other areas of your life like work or school, approaching and seducing women is going to be more difficult than it has to be.
Self-esteem tends to be pretty universal; if you know how to develop self-confidence in one aspect of your life, chances are it’ll spill over into your success with women.
As soon as you have an idea of what it means to be confident, you can start working on making yourself more attractive to women.
How To Develop Self Confidence
Low self-esteem comes from negative thinking patterns that get reinforced over time. Some common ones are:
- I’m not attractive enough to date a really hot girl.
- I’m not talented.
- Success is out of reach for me.
- I’m not cool or witty enough to charm a woman.
None of these things are really true of any guy. However, if you think these things are true then, in a way, they’ll start to become your reality.
Developing self-confidence starts with identifying these thinking patterns and stopping them in their tracks before they start to dominate your mind. Once they do, it can be very hard to rid yourself of them.
So, when you catch yourself having a negative thought about your abilities or self-image, freeze and consider that it might be your mind getting the best of you.
Ask yourself what the reality is in relationship to the thoughts you’re having. Chances are, they won’t match up. Not even a little bit.
There are other things you can do to develop self-confidence that is more external, but it all starts with becoming aware of your own thinking patterns and addressing them before they consume you.
Self Image: Why It Matters
The way you see yourself is paramount to how women will ultimately see you when you talk to them. If you’re going to a social situation with some kind of baggage, women will pick up on it.
After you’ve done some work on your mind, you can start working on your external appearance. Start hitting the gym, find a hobby or change your style.
Sometimes making even a small lifestyle change can have a positive impact on your self-image. If you’re not taking care of yourself, this can have an effect on your mind.
Slight changes in your appearance can make you think more highly of yourself. Putting on a little muscle, feeling a little more energetic and maybe grabbing some new clothes can definitely have some positive effects on the way you see yourself.
These things alone aren’t going to completely fix your issues with self-confidence, but working on them is definitely a step in the right direction.
Health: Why It’s Key To Building Confidence
We underestimate how much taking care of ourselves has an effect on our self-confidence. The fact is, your mind and your body are inextricably tied to one another.
If you’re not taking care of yourself, your mood will suffer and so will your self-confidence.
Cut back on the booze and if you smoke weed or cigarettes, try and reduce that as well. These kinds of things make us think we’re confident for a short time, but ultimately they hurt us when it comes to our success with women.
Aside from cutting back on stuff like this, there are really four habits you should strive to develop to keep yourself grounded, confident and ready for anything:
- Get enough sleep
- Eat regular meals
- Drink plenty of water
- Leave enough time during the day for relaxation
When you start to neglect these things, it causes you to fall into negative thinking patterns, because your body isn’t operating efficiently.
It can be very hard to feel good about yourself whether you’re alone or in front of a hot chick when you aren’t treating yourself with respect.
Remember, you have a body and caring for it is just as important as caring for your mind.
The Easy Way To Gain Self-Confidence: Surround Yourself With Positive People
A lot of the time our negative perceptions of ourselves are a direct result of the people around us. Toxic individuals can have a seriously problematic effect on our well-being.
The worst part is, it isn’t always obvious. Maybe your friends are stopping you from building self-esteem, or maybe it’s your family. It could even be a girl that you’re seeing who you’re actually really into.
The best thing to do is to identify negativity honestly. Ask yourself if someone in your life is doing more harm than good, and then be realistic about whether or not you want to keep them around.
Sometimes it’s hard to do because we get comfortable with the people around us, but in the long run, it’s best to cut as much negativity from your life as possible, or at least limit your contact with those who dish it out.
The key is being able to pull off that band-aid, look someone in the eye and tell them they’re either with you, or against you. If they can’t be a source of positivity for you, that’s their problem. Not yours.
Stop Taking Life So Seriously: The Key To Building Self-Esteem
At the end of the day, building self-esteem really boils down to not taking things too seriously, or always assuming the worst case scenario.
Your mind is going to take you places you don’t want to go, but you have to be logical enough to realize things probably aren’t that bad.
Keep cool, see your talents for what they are, and use them to be the best you can be in game and in life. Just remember: if things don’t go well, there’s always tomorrow.