Why do we take the impulses we naturally have for granted? What ever happened to sticking to your guns and standing by what you mean?
Why is that in relationships and romantic encounters we find ourselves apologizing for how we feel? Why do we ever apologize for how we feel?
Of course, being mindful of feelings other than your own and being sensitive to those around us should go without saying, but to what extent should we shrug off what we really want?
When outside perceptions are the priority over how we genuinely feel, we end up living a life catering to everyone but ourselves.
And if we do it enough, our instincts become numb, and we lose touch with who we really are.
That’s why it’s important to trust our impulses. Even if we do not initially act on them they should not be disregarded.
Whether it’s in a relationship, a job you want to apply for, moving up or asking for a bigger role at work or a girl you see across the bar, you should follow your natural instinct to pursue it.
When we get too caught up in hearing “no”, being judged or even being laughed at, and we stuff what we really want deep down somewhere, we end up short changing ourselves.
The Value In How You Feel
How many times have you placed someone else’s desires over yours?
Maybe it was picking out a movie, maybe it was where you went to school or possibly it was getting in the relationship at all.
There are so many cases where, because we’re afraid of what they or society might think, we abort our true intentions and wants.
Imagine feeling drained in a relationship and really believing within yourself that you want to call it off but remaining in the relationship because she doesn’t feel the same.
Beyond putting someone else’s feelings over yours, that’s entrapment — you’re bound by the fragility of someone else’s feelings.
You can’t forget about yourself. You have to be happy too and it’s important to do the necessary, though difficult, things which aren’t always relationship specific.
So many times I see guys remain silent when a boss, partner, friend, or stranger does something that gets under their skin.
It could be a non-malicious joke or some jostling around that is not entertaining, all because they’re considering everyone’s offense but theirs.
When you place value in your feelings you will command more respect in different areas of your life but you will also have the confidence in expressing how you feel when you feel it.
Your First Step Is Your Best Step
Putting how you feel to the forefront of your priorities will also keep you from second-guessing your decisions.
Opportunity passes us by when we hesitate and wait too long. Self-doubt will ruin you, which is why your first step is your best step.
There are guys who are still waiting for “the right moment” to go up and talk to her, to tell her that he see’s her more than a friend or to even tell his girlfriend that he loves her.
There are guys that are still waiting to ask their boss for a raise, still contemplating on quitting, just letting every day bring them a new excuse.
When you are in touch with your feelings and respect them, you’re going to respond to your initial and reoccurring impulses in a timely fashion.
Living a life not second guessing yourself is a lot freer than you would ever imagine and you would never guess how far away from that type of life you were living until you began acting on those pent up desires.
Not Fearing The Aftermath
When you stop trying to predict what the outcome may behold, you’ll find trusting your instincts a lot easier.
You can guess what she might say, you can assume if you’ll get a callback, but at the end of the day, they will only be assumptions.
Trusting your instinct means not worrying about what comes after our decision.
We have to trust that when you come with pure intentions and doing it the right way, no matter if the verdict is in your favor or not, no maliciousness would be perceived.
It’s good to seek advice and run your plans by peers you respect but you’re also going to have to feel comfortable leaning on the gumption inside you.
You’ll be surprised how you lead your friends, the words you say to women and the way you can charm a room when you just live with no inhibitions.
Naturally, we complicate things far more than we should.
A simple approach to life is trusting the life we’ve lived up until this point and allowing that to subconsciously come through.
Trusting your gut comes with the same rationale and logic that you use every day, it’s just learning not to say no to that feeling whenever it comes up.
It’s a confidence that we will develop the more we intentionally tap into it and, like a muscle, it will be something we will be far more comfortable utilizing as it strengthens.
What we want matters. How we feel matters. And our liberty to express this should not come at the will of the next person. It should be something we are in control of ourselves.
Be in control of your instincts and use them in every aspect of your life. Learn to lean on what you feel inside in an unapologetic matter and see the difference it makes.