There is nothing more important than understanding yourself both in life, and in cold approach pick-up.
The more you know who you are, the better off you’ll be.
A huge part of our personalities has to do with the way we interact with other people. Ask yourself: am I an introvert or an extrovert? If you don’t know, you should address this as soon as you can.
If you’re an extrovert, you probably have little to no social anxiety, and enjoy being out around people. If you’re an introvert, you may not be anxious around others, but may just prefer flying solo.
Both are perfectly normal, and likely have their benefits in the right context. The key is knowing which one you are, and rather than fighting it, embracing it.
The sooner you realize what kind of guy you are, the sooner you can start to construct a style of game that works for you. An introvert trying to be an extrovert and vice versa, is a recipe for disaster.
Just be honest with yourself, and once you know what makes you comfortable, stick to it. If you don’t know whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, there’s good news. It’s easy to figure out.
Am I An Introvert
If you’re introverted, you generally prefer small groups of friends, and can be perfectly happy spending time alone.
We all need to socialize, but if you don’t feel the pressure to be part of the group, it might just be because you’re cool with yourself.
An introvert doesn’t mean that you’re anti-social or a misanthrope. It means that you get just as much satisfaction from spending time by yourself as you do with others. No more and no less.
In some ways, it’s a sign of independence and if you spin it the right way, could be seen as very attractive.
A guy who can go his own way and do his own thing is considered confident by a lot of women.
One flaw you may have as an introvert is getting conversations started.
The big difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that extroverts have little to no approach anxiety, while introverts sometimes get tripped up.
The key is balance.
If you find that you don’t fumble in conversation, but have a hard time finding the motivation to approach, work on your extroversion while preserving all of the good qualities of being an introvert.
The Extrovert Personality
The extrovert is usually pretty easy to spot. He talks to everyone like he’s running for office, has no problem approaching, and generally gets a high from being around others.
He’s hyper in high-energy environments like clubs and music festivals and enjoys being the center of attention.
If you’re looking to draw positive attention to yourself on a regular basis, you’re probably an extrovert.
Extroverts usually have an easy time getting one-night stands because they’re charming, but they tend to sometimes be lacking the emotional depth and awareness of an introvert.
They’re so friendly that they have a hard time forming individual bonds.
That isn’t to say that they can’t have relationships, but they tend to get bored of people easily since their main source of enjoyment comes from being around others.
If you’re an extrovert, try and figure out whether or not your emotional intelligence is where it should be.
If you find that you have half-baked relationships with lots of people, versus strong ones with a few, you might want to occasionally tap into your introverted side.
An Introvert Vs Extrovert Quiz
You don’t have to go to a psychiatrist or a therapist to figure out what kind of personality you have. Just ask yourself some basic questions, and be honest about the responses.
Here are four things you can ask yourself to figure out whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert:
- Do clubs and bars make me uncomfortable?
- Do I get satisfaction from starting conversations?
- Do I have hobbies that I can do for hours alone?
- Do I get bored when I’m alone?
If you ask yourself these questions, and give yourself some honest answers, you’ll find that you might have been misreading yourself. It’s more than just walking around and wondering: am I an introvert?
The worst thing you can do is kid yourself. If you are really an introvert, but try to be an extrovert, everything you say to a girl will sound forced and disingenuous.
Believe it or not, falseness is worse than genuine awkwardness. When a girl senses that you’re being fake, she loses a lot of respect for you.
If you’re an awkward person, be awkward. You’ll be surprised at the results of just being yourself.
A Real Life Introvert Test
Sometimes it isn’t as easy as just doing some soul-searching. You might not just be able to ask yourself whether or not you’re introverted or extroverted. If you’re still unsure, try to get in touch with your natural inclinations.
If you enter something called a flow-state, you might be an introvert. A flow-state is a state of mind in which you get so into a hobby or passion, that you’re completely fulfilled.
When you’re doing something you love, ask yourself these questions:
- Am I lonely?
- Am I doing this because I really enjoy it?
- Am I doing this as a distraction?
- Is this habit healthy?
This could be anything, but generally creative people are introverts. Someone who can paint, or write for hours on end and feel completely fulfilled, probably has more of an inner-personality.
The kinds of people who get bored unless there are people around, and usually require some type of stimulation to feel like their day is worth it, are likely extroverts.
That isn’t to say that introverts can’t occasionally crave human contact, but if you find more satisfaction in your hobby than you do in being around others, you probably don’t rely on socializing to get your high.
That being said, human beings, generally need to be around each other to be healthy.
Cohabitation is a part of our genetic code, and too much isolation, while it might be to attain some type of creative goal, is never a good thing.
An Introvert Vs. Extrovert Test
Both personality extremes are unhealthy. Too much alone time is never a good thing, while too much time relying on the company of others can make you easily bored and overstimulated.
If you aren’t out at bars talking to girls because other things are getting in the way, you might want to search for balance. The same rule applies for a guy who can’t be without a girl in his life.
You should always try to stick to your guns in life, but beware of habits that are doing you more harm than good. It’s okay to be introverted or extroverted, but only as long you as you realize your motivation.
If you isolate yourself because the prospect of being at a bar and talking to a girl terrifies you, you should try and explore that feeling. Ask yourself why, and see if you can address it.
On the contrary, if you find that you get agitated or upset when you don’t get a phone number or don’t have a girl in your life, it might be time to try and explore those feelings as well.
The key to self-development is self-discovery. The more honest you are with yourself, the more you’ll be able to make positive changes that will help you in every aspect of life.