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Total Rebuild: How To Get Over A Breakup

dealing with a breakup

Total Rebuild: How To Get Over A Breakup

BY Christopher Gramuglia

Total Rebuild: How To Get Over A Breakup

Breakups are not easy. They can change our entire day to day life. It’s easy to get accustomed to being with a person, and letting that dominate your entire world over time.

The truth is, breakups are going to happen, and knowing how to get over your ex after it’s all over is key to your preservation as a man and as a person.

Knowing how to deal with a breakup is as important as knowing how to attract girls in the first place. You’ll have to be able to be your own therapist, and it may not always be so simple when you get your heart broken.

However, it’s not impossible to move on from a bad relationship, or even one that was good but ended for some other unforeseen reason. If you don’t already know how to get over someone, don’t worry, you can learn.

The 6 Stages Of Grief After A Breakup: https://healthyyouhealthylove.com/the-inescapable-6-stages-of-grief-to-go-through-after-a-breakup/

The key is to avoid wallowing. Focus on dealing with your break up, rather than dwelling on it. The sooner you can do that, the sooner you can get back out there and meet a new chick.

You have to be a man about it, and resist the temptation to do all those things you see in the movies. Don’t ruminate on how to mend a broken heart. The very use of these words is toxic and will pollute your well-being.

Instead, concentrate on how to move forward, and don’t admit to yourself that your heart is necessarily broken. It implies that this other person has power over you and is capable of damaging you.

The more you obsess about these thoughts, the harder it’s going to be to get over a relationship. Look ahead, and take it as an opportunity to make your game even stronger.

Getting Back Out There: How To Get Over Your Ex

A lot of people may disagree, but the best way to get over your ex is to go out and talk to other girls. Do it sooner rather than later, and don’t wait for your feelings of hurt to intensify.

The sooner you can get back to your old single-gaming self, the sooner you can start to feel better about what happened. As a man, the simple act of being around women can be calming.

getting over a breakup

These new girls aren’t going to take her place, but they can certainly make you feel better about her not being around anymore. They can make you realize that you still have the skills to find someone new.

You may not want to right away, and that’s ok. But the reminder that you can is enough to get you through lonelier nights that might lay ahead.

Taking Away The Power: Getting Over A Breakup

A girl may have broken up with you because she just wasn’t feeling it anymore. There’s nothing you can do about that. It’s just the way things are. However, one thing you can avoid is letting it consume you.

She probably isn’t deliberately trying to hurt you, but you may interpret it that way. You have to give her less power. Not in reality, but in your mind. If you can take away the weight of the rejection, you’ll be okay.

Realize that relationships don’t usually work out; it’s a sad truth, but it can also be a positive one. If you’re doing nothing but sitting around wondering how to get over a relationship, remember the following:

  • You’re worth more than the relationship
  • You have the skills to meet someone new
  • This is a good opportunity to get back to your hobbies
  • You’ll have way more free time to work on yourself

By keeping these things in mind you take back some of the power that you lose after getting dumped. This isn’t literal, but it’s something that happens in your mind.

how to mend a broken heart

If you can get your mind right, your reality will follow. It’s the foundation for just about any form of self-help. Be positive, and focus on good things, rather than bad ones.

When “The One” Dumps You: How To Get Over Someone Specific

Look, you may have been with someone who you really thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. When they dump you, it can be a shock. It can make you think you’ll never be the same.

However, there’s a way to re-frame this in your head that’ll make you realize that this person probably wasn’t all that special. In fact, the root of your anxiety at this separation may have started way earlier.

how to get over someone

You may have built this girl up, and made yourself think that they were a lot better for you than they really were. Take a break up to re-examine things from an objective standpoint.

View the relationship the way someone might who wasn’t actually in it, and give it an honest appraisal. Was she really, “the one?” Probably not.

This realization might take a little bit of honesty on your part, especially with yourself, but give it time. You’ll start to see things for what they are, and begin the process of moving on.

How To Get Over A Breakup Fast

At the end of a relationship you may be in two different headspaces at the exact same time: I’m free! and What am I going to do without her?

You’ll have good days and bad days, but there will definitely be a part of you that wants to get over things quickly. Goods new: there’s a few ways to do this.

how to get over a relationship

In fact, you can do it so quickly, that people might actually wonder how much you really liked this chick in the first place. Here’s what to do:

  • Start going out immediately
  • Spend more time with your single buddies
  • Do not call or text this girl no matter what
  • Get to the gym

It’s not going to happen overnight—it never does—but by incorporating these things into your weekly routine, you’ll get over your ex much faster.

It’s a lot better than staying in your bedroom drinking and writing poetry. If you do something like that, you might never get over your ex. Force yourself to stay busy, and before you know it, you’ll be a new man.

Stop Wondering How To Get Over Someone

Sometimes, the more you think about a situation that bothers you, the more it will. Even if you’re trying to actively solve the problem, simply having it in your head will make it worse.

It’s okay to consult people who have been through breakups before for advice, but the less you think about how to get over an ex the better. Instead of thinking about it, just do it!

Tell yourself that you’re over her. Repeat it to yourself every day. It may seem stupid at first, and may not feel true, but the brain is incredibly receptive to positive self-talk.

how to get over your ex

Start each sentence with the phrase, “I am,” and avoid speaking in negatives. You’ll essentially train your brain to think differently about the situation that you’ve found yourself in.

The more negativity you let into your noggin, the harder it’ll be to eventually feel better. Stay positive in your head, even if you don’t feel that way. It just takes a little time and some patience with yourself.

Breakups Are Not The End Of The World

If you break up with your girlfriend, remember to keep things in perspective. Yes, you might have been hot and heavy with her, and things might have been good, but you don’t need another person to be happy.

All anyone needs—guy or girl—is themselves to feel good in the long-run. Relationships can only be an enhancement. You can’t depend on them for happiness. If and when they end, realize that you can find those good vibes again if you try.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a writer, photographer and holds a master's degree in creative writing. He is working on a novel about dating in the digital age, and is an expert on topics like social dynamics and how to navigate the modern dating scene.

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