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What To Say To Women Who Reject You: 5 Ways To Deal With It

What To Say To Women Who Reject You: 5 Ways To Deal With It

BY Christian Hudson

What To Say To Women Who Reject You: 5 Ways To Deal With It

I was recently asked about the best way to respond when a woman rejects you, and this is actually a fantastic question that gets to the heart of being an attractive man.

Understand: overcoming rejection is not about “saving face”, but rather, being confident in who you are and accepting the risks that come with going after what you want.

When you feel this confidence, you’ll allow yourself to take more risks in your social life.


And of course, risks lead to rewards.

But I’m guessing you’re here because you already got rejected.

How did this happen? Well, when you feel fear and nervousness, you don’t approach or escalate confidently, and your nervousness makes her feel bad. This is the root cause of most rejection.


I once took a motorcycle racing lesson, and the coach said something that I’ll never forget: confidence is predictable results.

So how can I help you get predictable results? Well, let’s look at the different types of rejection you might face, and talk about handle each of them

Because once you know about all of the different things that can happen and are prepared for them there is no longer anything to be afraid of.

And if you get deeper into our training, you’ll develop an unbreakable mindset that will allow you to laugh in the face of rejection.

So, this being the case what is the proper response when a woman rejects you?

The easy answer is to say “haha, good to talk to you too…” and then to walk away. But there are a lot of situations where rejection isn’t all that clear cut and you are actually better off trying to hang in there and see if she is testing you.

So the first thing to do is to figure out what kind of rejection you are dealing with here.

Rejection Type #1 – Evil And Cold-Blooded

Have you ever walked up to a hot girl who was standing at the bar, said your friendly opening line and got a response like “why are you talking to me” or “dude stop” or even then classic “F*ck off”? Depending on where your head is at, this type of rejection can come as quite a blow.

Luckily these rude dismissals are rare and your response to them is a no-brainer. You just smile, laugh, and say “amazing”. Show her – and yourself – that you find her rudeness to be cute and amusing.

It is important not to get upset or to make it look like this has phased you in any way because if there are any other women around that you want to talk to you don’t want them to know that you got all butt hurt because of some rude girl.

(NOTE: If you are getting a cold blooded rejection response less than 3% of the time you are probably fine. Unfortunately there are a certain number of women out there who are just plain rude. However, if you get this response more often then there is probably something about what you are doing that women are finding repulsive and you need to fix that.)

Rejection Type #2 – Lukewarm Rejection

Most of the time when a woman turns you down she will do it in a fairly gentle manner. For instance she’ll talk to you for a sec and then be like, “y’know what I’ve got to run, nice talking to you” and then she leaves. or perhaps you approach her at a bar but she keeps turning to her friends and ignoring you.

I find it’s tough to turn these situations around, because if she’s rejected you in this way, it means you’re not making her feel good – and when she’s out to have fun, she wants to feel good.

rejectionSo your best option is to smile, tell her “nice to talk to you,” and plan to revisit later. Go have some fun with your buddies for a bit, develop some social momentum, and then head back to her with some positive energy.

And if you felt like you had a shot and you couldn’t care less about getting a stronger rejection, you could say something like “Look, we’re two strangers but you never know what amazing things could happen – and I’d love to get to know you better… Give me your number and I promise I’ll only text you twenty times a day“. I like this approach, because it shows that you’re a bit of a romantic, unafraid of rejection, and that you go for what you want.

And that last bit about only texting her twenty times a day is going to jokingly show her that you’re not some crazy stalker guy.

Rejection Type #3 – Testing Rejection

An incongruent rejection occurs when you were talking to a girl who seemed into you but then she tells you that it’s a “no-go”. Maybe she’ll tell you that she has got a boyfriend or that you just aren’t her type.

This kind of rejection is actually one of the most difficult for guys to deal with because just when you think you are gonna get somewhere with a girl it feels like you got the rug pulled out from under you.

My suggestion when you meet with this kind of rejection is to push on and keep going for it anyways. A lot of times this is what I call “fake-rejection” because it’s really just an attempt to see how interested and confident you are.

If you give up at the first sign of resistance, you fail the test.

So a lot of times pushing through will actually get you the girl, plus as a bonus you will become more confident because you will be training yourself to stare rejection in the face and not back down from it.

I remember a time when I went for a kiss with a girl, and she turned away and said “no, we have the same friends, it will be awkward.”

I replied “I don’t care about our friends, I care about you, and it’ll be amazing”.

And of course we kissed each other 😉

Women find this kind of dominance very attractive. As I say in many of our premium training courses, “there’s nothing more arousing for a woman than to be desired by a man who she values.”

Rejection Type #4 – Not That Into You

This is the worst. You’ve gotten to know her, and maybe even taken her on a date or two. Then she comes around and tells you she’s “just not that into you”

Usually, this is because her initial feelings about you have changed. She had a good impression, but then you got needy, or insecure, or you weren’t as fun or sexy as she thought.

You CAN turn this around – I call it “resetting impression” – and I teach it in my Girlfriend Activation System course. Here’s how it works:

  1. You “accept” that you’ve been temporarily rejected. Don’t get bitchy or needy about it. Instead, start treating her like a friend.
  2. You start “framing” her as sexually inexperienced. If you do this as I teach, then she’ll want to prove to you that she’s not inexperienced.
  3. You have the “50 Shades of Grey” conversation that I teach in the Girlfriend Activation System.

When you follow these steps, women will realize what a mistake they made, and will often work very hard to prove their sexual prowess to you.

Rejection Type #5 – Self-Imposed

I’ve coached so many men who refuse to approach or escalate things with a woman they want.

rejection3It’s SO sad, because I promise you: she’s waiting for you to escalate.

And look – if you don’t escalate, then you’ll end up in the friend zone anyway… it’s pretty much like rejecting yourself.

So don’t let negative self-talk defeat you. Go for what you want – you only have one life to live, and if you let fear and self-doubt keep you from going for what you want, you’re missing out on some of the best experiences you could have.

I thought about this a lot when I was learning to surf. There would be waves that were bigger than I felt comfortable with. And if you’ve ever surfed, you know that the physical pain of getting held down under a big wave is pretty scary!

It got me thinking – what’s worse: physical pain, or emotional pain?

When you go for a big wave and fail, it can lead to some pretty intense physical pain… and that usually can’t be controlled.

But when you go for a girl and get rejected, the emotional pain is totally under your control. It’s all in how you frame it and deal with it.

Everyone faces rejection and failure in life – that’s just part of the game. If you’re not taking big risks, you’re not going to score those big waves and gorgeous women!

But now you know the types of rejection you can face with women, and how to handle them.

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Christian Hudson


CEO of The Hero Company, and publisher of The Social Man. Loves to surf, snowboard, climb mountains, and photograph the world. Connect with Christian on facebook, instagram, and his personal website.

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  • ALEX


    • Jake Vandenhoff

      Hey Alex, 
      Sorry to hear about that. That’s is a tough situation, and one that I know about all too well (well not the 15 years part, but close enough…) 

      Your first impulse is probably to “fight to get her back” and try to convince her that she should stay with you. This is what most guys do, but it only makes matters worse because it makes you look pushy, manipulative, desperate etc…

      Instead, you need to give her what she wants, and try to remain calm about it. 

      This is the opposite of what she will expect you, and it will be a bit of a shock. Then, don’t talk to her for a couple weeks even if she calls you. This will give her the time to reconsider whether she has made a mistake, and allow her a chance to reflect on your time together and start to miss you.

      Then, you do get in touch agree with her that the break up was a good idea… This will be hard to do because you obviously don’t feel this way, but it will stop the conflict between the two of you and it can potentially cause her to reverse her thinking…

      If she decides she wants to come back, make her work for it… And date other women in the meantime.

      Anyhow, this is a complex situation that I can’t fully address with a few sentences, but hopefully this will get you moving in the right direction.


      • ALEX

         3 years ago we got back together,she still trying to control me by sex,she want to be boss in a house ,she is making more money too,if its not my young kids,I would devorse,and sell the house,but for now,I need advice?Thanks.

        • Guest

          Is this still happening? If so just try to control and maintain balance. If she is going over the edge with it then try to correct her with a yell or say “I`m done” and leave the house to go get your mid off of it. If it`s still happening try to make a decision on if you still love her. If you don`t move on through life and don`t worry about it. If so try to get intimidating. Now I hope you take this in heart, and do it for your kids because it`s hard and I have expirience

  • afoxx676

    I received the last type over the previous weekend, it was an awesome experience with an abrupt output at the end. My guy was able to get her friend to swap numbers ,so I am thinking of doing just as it says to face it head on and see where I end up. Here’s some context , she began by literally closing the distance until we were a breath away from each other , I was that guy getting freaked on by her & when I made my timing and delivered my intent her body was escalating but her verbals weren’t. All of a sudden, there’s a bf and she’s not going to cheat is what she told me as her leg rose up under my arm to grab. Towards the end of the night , another girl I had let known that I dug her outfit also closes the distance & says if shed given me her number yet. Wow! Not the typical night ,at all 😉 my guy and I walk with the first girl and her friend & follow through , both friends are showing us love and at one point the girl I danced with was qualifying me with her friend but still put up resistance. At this point we took our losses and took flight. Now, my question is when to take flight because I felt like too much time was spent and there could have been other girls who wanted to make a connection ,instead.
    Ps gf activation program and time with jch & n.s. & guys In NYC night life was lively & successful 😉 thanks I hope your culture thrives with tsm.

  • Nicole

    I was so insecure about this guy at work…sophisticated, handsome, well-built male co-worker/supervisor.  He was hitting on me and unfortunately my responses kind of “hit below the belt”.  To all you men out there who are facing rejection…give “chicks” like me another thought.  We could be as scared as you and “blurt” things out…this kind of gal needs a more intuitive and “gentle warming up” approach.  Get us to smile first…use humor.  You’ll get there.
        Good Luck

    • dave

         Ms. Nicole -Thanks for the hint. You have helped many of us understand why we NEVER approach women, holding out until they approach us and we can KNOW that they are interested. Fewer men are approaching these
      days so maybe men will beome worth more  as a result.

    • dave

      No, Ms. Nicole, good luck to YOU!

    • Carl Thompson

      No, Nicole, no additional opportunities.
      It is difficult enough for most men to deal with hundreds (perhaps thousands) of rejections, more than a few of which can be quite vicious.
      Why would any sane man return for more of the same?
      Also, more than one polite low-key expression of interest qualifies as sexual harassment. That is why no man should ever, under any circumstances, show interest in a female co-worker. At work, it is necessary for men to be asexual. Even then, we are sometimes the target of vexatious complaints by the insane harpies of the sisterhood. One sexual harassment complaint, whether it is justified or not, is career ending for most men.
      Where I live, young women make a sport out of competing with each other to see who can deliver the most vicious rejection and/or put-down to men. For that reason, one of the things that men here learn is to never, under any circumstances, approach females who are part of a group in places such as clubs and bars.
      Some years ago I walked away from having anything to do with women. I will not bore you with the details, but I could almost not get a date because I was not one of the versions of the bad boy, upon which young women are fixated.
      Yesterday, I was at a political event. Three women in my age range hit on me, big time. That is pretty normal, these days. They have grown out of the bad-boy phase and now hope/expect decent men to be waiting around for them. No.
      There is now zero interest from my end. Life is simpler, a hell of a lot cheaper and has less legal liability.

      • lolana

        Sorry it has been so awful for you. Just know that women go through it, too. We get played, rejected, dumped on our pretty little butts more than you guys know! But I don’t know any women who get any joy out of rejecting guys. But, mean women can be a lot more emotionally vicious in subtle ways, than men can. And in a pack they can really destroy ya. They do it to other women, too, and it is reaaaaaaaaaaally ugly and you men don’t have a clue sometimes about mean women and how they victimize other women. BUT WE ARE NOT ALL LOOKING FOR BAD BOYS! That is a myth. We are not all alike…..I hope at some point you find someone you don’t have to “try” with and you might give those women a chance, handsome. And no I’m not flirting with you! Just relating! Good luck to you 🙂

        • Wodanson

          Thanks for the kind thoughts.
          In a spirit of honesty, I would suggest that the experience you mention of being “dumped on our pretty little buts” screams bad boy to me, because a decent man would not do that.
          All that I can say is that when I was younger every female I encountered wanted some version of the bad boy. Decent men need not apply.
          I do not know about where you live, but young women here make a sport out of competing with their friends to see who can be the nastiest when they reject men.
          Re women today: plenty of women make their interest plain these days. It is a reversal of the situation that I was in when I was younger. The difference at my end is that now I could not be less interested. Too much pain, too much angst, too many memories and way too much legal risk.

          • lolana

            In my younger days I did go after bad boys. I admit! But I’m happy to say I grew out of that. I met a great guy and lived with him for over a decade. And before you accuse me of being interested in his money..I supported HIM for our first year together because he did not have a job. But he was great. Anyway, it sounds like women where you live suck. I find a wider variety of people in cities where I’ve lived most of my adult life. All kinds of men, all kinds of women. Volunteer work is where you find the nice ones. Not bars!

          • Wodanson

            Re bars: it took me about six visits to nightclubs and bars to realise that such places had zero to offer, in terms of connecting with women. Aside from the inherent nature of young women and their bad-boy fixation making visits to nightclubs and bars a futile exercise, I still have no idea how communication can take place when the noise (I refuse to call that crap music) is so loud that verbal communication is impossible.
            Aside from that, I do not drink. I am a dedicated student of a martial art, which means that I spend a large portion of my life working to improve my mind and nervous system. To ingest a poison (alcohol) that would debilitate me at the time and damage my brain and my nervous system would be an act of insanity.
            Re the local females being unpleasant: I have found that the nature of the females changes in proportion with the size of the town or city. The larger the town or city, the more that the females conform to the ‘girls can do anything’ feminist agenda, are vacuous, narcissistic, often obnoxious and fixated on the bad boys.
            What this means is that in the larger cities here, such as Sydney and Melbourne, the proportion of men who have walked away is also greater. The women here call it the ‘man drought’. The men are still out there, but they have walked away from seeking relationships with women. It is now extremely difficult for a female on the wrong side of 30 to get a date, let alone a boyfriend or husband, in the two largest cities of Australia.
            Why is this happening? Thank the sisterhood. See below.
            Show interest in a woman = sexual harassment complaint; ask a woman out = sexual harassment complaint; have sex with a woman = false rape complaint; cohabit with a woman = false domestic violence complaint; she becomes pregnant = lifetime enslavement via a child-support order; marry her = 50 per cent risk of divorce, a lifetime of enslavement via child support and the Family Court stealing everything that the man has and giving it to the women.
            Single -> married -> divorced -> homeless -> dead.

          • lolana

            Totally agree with you about the loud music thing in bars and restaurants. I don’t mind sometimes, but I do not know how you’re supposed to have any kind of real conversation. I know it’s the happening thing to do, crank up the music so things seem exciting, or something, but it’s ridiculous.

          • Ashara Dayne

            Interesting. I keep reading about this ‘bad boy’ thing and have never understood it. Maybe it’s because I lived in and around rural towns.

          • Sean Lazarus

            I see the whole ‘bad boy’ approach as flat out saying “Hey, I’m not who you think I am. Go out with me?” I don’t see why men do it, but hey, whatever they think is going to work, right? I’m not going to be the one who proves them wrong.

          • Andrew Longfield

            I think it’s a cycle of retaliation, bad behaviour by one excuses bad behaviour by the person who ‘copped’ it. Male, or female, it doesn’t seem to matter, both seem far too hopelessly bound up in their pain and precious hurt feelings to ever just let it go and start acting like a real person.

          • Wodanson

            Retaliation, yes. Bad behaviour, no. I just walked away and did nothing. It seems that doing nothing is as objectionable to the female collective as being a prick.

          • Andrew Longfield

            Honestly Wodanson, I do my best to be fair and not flame anyone, but with the attitude you have it’s no wonder you don’t ever make out. I can’t imagine a woman finding your attitude attractive in any way. Perhaps you have always just been ‘fishing in the wrong pond’. It helps massively to connect with like minded individuals, and if you have found out that bars and night clubs aren’t your thing, it’s simple, don’t go there, rather than endlessly coming out with the same repetitive complaints about the type of woman you always find. I can’t find one positive thing you have posted anywhere here, either about women, or yourself. You are dead wrong, there are plenty of nice honest approachable women left in Australia (yes, Melbourne and Sydney), I run into them all the time, I don’t look like Tom Cruise (thank god), and when they meet me, they can’t tell how fat my pockets are, or are not. What they can tell is, I’m friendly, polite, cheerful, positive, and they rapidly work out that I don’t think that being a male gives me any rights to something they might have, or offer to me ( I don’t think people have ‘rights’ over another, unless we are talking legal definitions). At work, because of the laws, it’s a different ball game. Play by the correct rules for the game you’re playing, it might simplify things for you, better yet, why don’t you make an effort to understand the rules (social etiquette governing work, nightclubs, pool parties, family barbecues, etc), you will find that each situation requires you to respond differently, and often flexibly, ie, not having an inflexible agenda, response, etc. You come across as very inflexible, probably what led you towards the army, rather than the other way around, it might have felt like the ‘safe’ option for you, with it’s very defined rigid rules of behaviour. I can’t understand why you (and most of the guys on this site)aren’t making much better use of Christians courses, things like ‘bulletproof’, and ‘the ten code’ are full of some of the best information I think can be found on the web. There might be better stuff out there, but in years of keeping my eyes open on the net for anything along these lines that is actually of value rather than the usual junk, this is right up there for value. I can tell you that while Christian includes instruction on understanding and decoding signals given by women (often subtle, hints, non verbal, eye contact as lolana has said), the very best stuff is about becoming a man who is fully realized, and is the best version of himself he can be. If this sounds like BS, then you have some way to go, because a man like that (fully realised, confident, not having to try, or play game, etc), is VERY attractive to a suitable woman, without having to do anything much harder than being himself (as in the real him, not the one some guys try to project, as the person they want people to think they are). The key is ‘suitable’, this means you need to learn what you really need in terms of a relationship, which is going to require that you learn a lot about the real you, nothing to do with the rigid hard inflexible shell you have slathered all over yourself to protect from getting hurt. Until you understand this stuff about yourself your chances of understanding the sort of woman that would match well with you, is limited, once you have all this handled then it’s a matter of putting yourself in the sort of environment that ‘your’ woman operates and lives in, so she has a chance to ‘see’ you. Most people learn most or at least some of this from early in their lives and have a handle on it in their thirties (it takes lots of practise (fail, get up, try something different, fail, get up try something different, succeed = aha), so don’t expect to have it mastered in 6 months. Often a high IQ goes with a low EQ. How do I know, I had the same thing in the past and had to work on it. If you don’t know what an EQ is, LOOK IT UP. It sounds like you, and a few others here cut most of the classes on this while growing up, for whatever reasons, If you haven’t done any personal development ( no, I don’t mean a yoga, or meditation class here and there, trying to pick up the chicks at them), then this is a bit counter intuitive, but really, focus on developing yourself and pushing at your internal, mental and EMOTIONAL boundaries, because once you develop and become the right man, then the right woman will just appear. Yes I know how silly this can sound, but honestly it’s how it works. These days, there is so much stress and noise coming from the environment around us, that fewer and fewer people (yes this works equally both ways, women aren’t created as magical perfect creatures dropped on the earth, they’re real people like you, even if they haven’t worked that out yet), are putting in the time and effort required to create themselves at the next level.

          • Wodanson

            Thankyou for your comments, Mr Longfield.
            I will not argue with what you have written, because from your perspective what you said would be correct.
            There are, however, a couple of fundamental differences in our outlooks that I believe merit a response.
            I did, indeed, stop looking in bars and nightclubs. As I wrote, it took six visits to come to the conclusion that such places were a waste of time and money.
            As you suggested, I did have a low EQ because of my high IQ, with, I suspect, a touch of Asperger’s syndrome. During a neuroscience component of a degree that I am doing at this time, I realised that I could tick more than a few of the boxes for high-functioning Asperger’s syndrome. That helps to explain why the organic computer inside my head processes data somewhat differently to the typical herd beast out there.
            As a result of some fairly extreme psychological, physical and sexual abuse during my childhood, I learned how function as though I was a machine. I developed the ability to step outside of myself and view events as a third party. Perhaps the Asperger’s syndrome, if I have it, helped with this.
            In professional contexts, I did not have any difficulty dealing with people. Off duty, I was completely lost. Without a role to play, or a script to follow, I was unable to function effectively. My response to was begin to read books, manuals, if you like, that have been written about how to interact with people. These included: How to win friends and influence people; People smart; and Skill with people.
            I must have learned the skill well, because there was a time when I filled a sales job (part time) and had better figures than the people who worked at it full time.
            After I passed the age of 30 women began to chase me. It seems that I cannot go to any sort of event without one (or more) women in my age range hitting on me. There are several women who have been pursuing me for months, in one case years.
            The difference between my younger self and how I am today is that I am no longer interested, not even slightly.
            That is, perhaps, the major difference between our world views. You appear to think that it is desirable and even assumed that men will want to form relationships with females.
            As a result of experiences, I have been cured of what I now consider to be a delusion.
            What people call love and relationships are merely the rationalisation of a hard-wired mating instinct. Love is a delusional state created by the release of oxytocin in the brain. It ticks all the boxes for a mental illness.
            I found that out at the age of 21, when my first serious girlfriend ripped my heart out. Understanding the neurochemical process that is called love helped me to deal with the situation. That experience changed me. To the best of my knowledge, I am now psychologically incapable of feeling romantic love for a woman.
            Today, when a woman makes her interest plain, what I see is a female whose pass to the bad-boy cock carousel was revoked on her 30th birthday, who is looking for the sort of man who would have not been ‘fun’ or ‘exciting’ enough for her when she was 20.
            Should I rejoice that I am being offered the consolation prize?
            Would it be a rational act to take a 50 per cent risk (the current divorce rate) of being destroyed by the Family Court, if I chose to provide a white picket fence for one of these females who would not have given me the time of day when she was 20?
            I fail to see any rational need to form a relationship with a woman, especially so given the 50 per cent probability of destruction.
            A few times I have been offered sex, out of the blue, so to speak. I am not interested. Sex can lead to a lifetime of enslavement via a child-support order. It is also the big hook that women use to try to reel in a male provider to support them. Sex can also, on occasion, lead to a false rape allegation, after consent is withdrawn retrospectively.
            I was somewhat surprised and a tad amused when you wrote about Christian dating and relationship advice. As my handle may suggest to you, I am not a Christian. Not even close. – lol
            Christians are not people to whom I would go for relationship counselling, or advice about sex.
            In 2001 the Eros Foundation, the organisation that represents all facets of the sex industry in Australia, released some interesting figures. The Eros Foundation trawled Australian court records and found that during the previous 10 years a total of 457 convictions had been recorded against church employees for sexual offences against children. During the same time, not one conviction was recorded against anyone involved in the sex industry. Both the churches and the sex industry employed about 20,000 people each, at the time. So, on the face of it, a small child would be at least 457 times safer in the company of a pornographer, strip show owner, brothel owner, pimp, prostitute, stripper, or porn performer than they would be in the care of a member of the Christian clergy.

          • Mark Sidebotham

            Idiot. The Christian he is referring to is Jonathon Christian Hudson, American dating coach whose site you are on. I agree with you about religion, by the way, but the way you write about them reveals your hard-headed fact-oriented nature.

            Judging from what you write, you’re well advised to be uninterested in women. You’re fixated on abuse and victimisation, and a better way to bring that on yourself I cannot think of. For your thoughts will be your undoing. “The truth will out” as my mother always said. If you want a worthwhile interaction, it will be based on wanting to share something, wanting to create something which is greater than you can do on your own. There are women who think so too, but with your mindset you’ll never recognise one and they will be naturally repulsed. You’re setting yourself up to be abused by your sheer lack of social “nous”. Yeah, there are bad ones. Learn some social skills and you’ll be able to spot them. Then you can avoid them, much like the decent women are currently avoiding you.

          • Wodanson

            You wrote “hard-headed fact-oriented nature” was though you thought that it was a bad thing. Did I draw the correct inference from your words?
            I deal in facts, not emotions. Facts and rational thought lead to sound decisions.

          • Fuglyoldprune

            Of course love is a ‘delusion’ if you look at it logically. What separates humans from machines is emotion. If you’ve been hurt by women rejecting you in the past and now reject women over 30 then just go for younger women who haven’t been ‘spoiled’.
            However, I have a son who is mildly autistic, so I have researched the condition somewhat. It seems there are similarities with psychopathy, certainly my son never seemed to particularly want or need the social interaction that my other children needed. You could well be better off alone. If it weren’t for love then parents wouldn’t take care of their children. That’s what love is and why we experience it. For most people it’s fulfilling and worth it despite the drawbacks. If you’re happier without it that’s your prerogative.

      • jb

        No Surprise , it’s always a game for All of us , but, it is fun !!

    • Jared Boice

      I find it kind of humorous how lots of girls get anxious or annoyed when having to accept or reject advances from men. In a way it kind of shows a lack of appreciation from the guys side of things. Trust me when I say that I would have zero problems turning the tables so that women were expected to be the ones who always approach and plan everything and pay for everything. It would be a great problem to have to just figure out the best way to say yes or no. If a girl can’t figure out how to appropriately accept a date or how to politely turn one down, she probably isn’t ready to date and I certainly am not going to ask her twice. If you turn down a guy and change your mind later, the ball is now in your court.

    • boganus

      christ this response is so self absorbed and pathetic. you were rude yet he is required to read the situation just right? get fucked.

  • Blitzrunmovement

    What could I do if I text a girl who has not seen me before and she doesn’t reply?

    • lolana

      “Seen” you as in, in person? Because if you mean “seen” as in, go out on a date, as in “seeing”…then, don’t send another text. If it’s an online dating thing or someone fixing you up, wait a week or two, then text again.

  • Chrisgoode78

    Ok so um I just got rejected and I’m still taking this girl to a special occasion what is up should I keep trying are we friends because I’m thinking I rather not take her

    • b0b hooper

      Tell her to take a hike.

  • Joe

    What difference does it make how you react to them? Most women are not rational when they accept and pick a guy. It is based on emotion and attraction and a lot of times your social position and status. Just move on to the next one and realize what you are dealing with which is a woman. I have been hooking up with a married woman with a no strings attached understanding for 3 years now and it is working real well. No headaches, no commitment and just fun time and good sex. I don’t even give any other women the right time of day anymore, no more rejection, no more B.S.

  • fdrnbgfsdr

    really creepy and disrespectful. your advice would make me uncomfortable. sick of polite hints being ignored!!

    • lolana

      You must be a woman….I am too….and creepy is exactly the word for a guy who keeps trying when you’ve told him you’re just gonna be friends.

  • Edward


    • lolana

      Wow Edward, you really shouldn’t babble on like that.

      • Brady Davis

        I thought he made a good point. Literrally.

        • lolana

          I was teasing

          • Brady Davis

            Same here.

  • Bryse

    Recently i i tried to ask a girl out and she said she liked me back, but it was a bad time because she was going to the hostpital. So i though she really liked me and when she came back to school i could ask her out. So we texted for about a week or 2 and i had made the mistake of trying to say i love you over the phone. Then she texted me back saying she loves me to but as a friend. Now here my selective side kicked in wi asked, well can i still ask you when we get to school. She said she would rather me not. What should i do???

    • demitri

      well my friend your in bad luck because she only sees you as a friend nothing more dont think about it too much

    • Dr Sys

      I’d suggest you look into what TSM offers. Many of the guys on the inside community ask this question – and many have learned how to change that situation.

  • dolphin

    Jake: 9 months ago the love of my life broke it off with me after 5 years of what I thought was a beautiful relationship. On Saturday she was loving and affectionate and the next day she told me it was over. Totally blindsided me. There were no arguments, disagreements, name calling or anything like that. She didn’t even give me a reason. Trying to do the honorable thing I moved out with virtually nothing to my name. We have not spoken in 9 months. Too Late??? She is a wonderful woman and I feel as if my opportunity to win her back is gone. I followed the No Contact rule except for the occasional email. The last being when she sent me a birthday wish. Your thought’s.

  • Bjorn

    The “fake-rejection” in #3 falls under the category of “hard to get” which is a game that is lost simply by playing. By failing the woman’s “test” you are in fact winning, because nobody wants to be with a flake.

    • Jimmy W


    • archie

      M sorry if i sound dumb but can u plz explain dis further.

    • lolana

      It’s complicated though because sometimes a person really IS hard to get. It really comes down to paying attention to hints, eye contact and nonverbal signals… least with me.

      • Andrew Longfield

        Hey lolana, you are very good at fielding all the inquiries from these lost souls, someone should help you shoulder the weight. Mind you, you’re good value and right on the money pretty much. How have these guys got through life this far and still have no clue of how to interact? How do they communicate their needs in ordinary life if they are as clueless about themselves as they seem? It’s a mystery.

        • lolana

          Thank you for your kind words, I have been around the block many times and helped friends through too. Sadly though I have not figured everything out myself. There was someone bugging me and I had been really clear with him, but he wasn’t getting it and I was trying to understand the thinking, which led me to this article. I feel bad for anyone trying to do this right, because it is not easy. I think a good thing to remember is, when you’re looking at everyone else, esp. their FB pages or whatever, it’s easy to feel like you’ve been left out of the game. But there are lonely people everywhere, you cannot believe the surface images you see or the appearance of happiness. Giving up might be easiest after a while, but since life ends anyway at some point, why not have some adventure?

    • wolfgang548 .

      That’s true. You know how many women I gave up on and moved on with my life? In fact, I had an encounter just yesterday. The manager of an ALDI supermarket started flirting with me recently and two weeks later she started ignoring me. However, yesterday I went to pick up a package of chicken and she was wiping the shelves with a rag. So I said, ” Hi. How are you today?” and she looked at me for a second, turned her back to me and continued what she was doing without saying a word. I put the chicken in my cart and walked away. But what I can’t understand is that was the first time I spoke to her ever. I’m 44 years old, she looks about 36-38. We’re adults, not high school freshmen.

  • david

    What should I do if I was hanging out with a girl i just met for two days and then we started texting all day for the next 4 days straight and then she mentioned how good a certain food place was so I said back so maybe we’ll go in a few days time and she replied sorry I can’t . After she said that were still texting alot, do you think its over or shes playing hard to get? And do I apologize?

    • tygrr94

      I would have said, why don’t I pick you up and we can go ther tonight? And at that point if she said she can’t, just say, how about X night. If she says OK, or suggests another day, then you’re good – if she says no again, she wasn’t feeling it. In your case, she said she can’t…you didn’t say whether you gave up at that point or suggested another night. Don’t give up. If she’s still texting you, and the conversation is decent, she’s probably still interested. I’d actually call her and invite her to that restaurant again. PS: I’m a girl 🙂

  • AJ

    well there are certainly without a doubt so many Very Pathetic High Maintenance Women out there today that really take advantage of men that have a Very Big Bank Account, which many of them are such Losers to begin with.

  • Very Serious

    It is certainly their Loss, not mine.

  • Jay

    Hi, i asked this cute taiwanese girl out a mounth ago, and she told me she didn’t want a boyfriend and enjoyed being single, but it turns out she already had a boy friend, and I’m quite befuddled to why she never told me the truth. I have no idea what type of rejection this is. i have been very close with her ever since I asked her out. We talk every opportunity we get and she always gives strong indications that she like me (looking down, playing with her hair). some one help me, I don’t usually ask on web sites, but I’m so confused about this situation I am unfortunate stuck in, I needed to seek out side help. I just want to know whats going on, is she messing with me, or was her rejection credible? many thanks.

    • blogster25 .

      Dude she’s playing you.

    • jblaze

      Hate to break it to you but from what it looks like she was either A.) Lying from the beginning and just looking for an excuse to cheat or B.) Made up the story about the bf to make it easier to reject you and then actually got a bf either way shes no good for you unless you’re looking for a fling.

  • BossMan

    Ok, got one for you. Married woman flirting like crazy with me, has been playing footsie with me at lunch, even rubbed her foot up under my pant leg so I go for it. She then acts surprised, and said she thought my leg was the table (hmm, no way on that one). When she rejected me, I said “so does this mean no more footsie?” She let out a huge laugh. There has been much more flirting leading up to my move too.

    Still pursue?? I worry that she just wants attention.

    • lolana

      no. she is married for crying out loud.

  • Stephen Isienyi

    If a woman just informed you that she either is uninterested or already has an SO, how does a continuous pestering of this woman translate into confidence in the face of rejection?

    Even if this woman was lying and testing you, she may be gauging your interest level but never for the reasons you may think. If you are truly confident in the face of rejection, you must have the impetus to control your urges, call her bluff whether good or bad, cut your losses and walk away from this deal. Further pursuit from this point forward smacks of desperation that only a control freak would love. Besides, who in his right mind, wants to spend time with an adult individual who cannot express themselves.

    Romantic relationships are serious business. Even when they are casual ones, they have funny ways of turning serious. Classy men and women understand this, and vigorously test potential mates for positive personality traits always. Pathetically, most people do personality tests only when hiring a buttler.

    • BossMan

      Well, here is an update. The woman has gone on to tell others about my move on her. I had a clue that she was just searching for an ego boost by her mentioning other unwanted advances from men in the past. Boy! She really played me! I ignored her flirts for a long time, and I suspect she just HAD to break me.

      Well, what ever floats your boat. I don’t have time for her, but as the alpha in the office she still wants to be seen with me and is not taking my cutting her off very well.

      • Stephen Isienyi

        You should just stick to your values and live your life for its own sake. All other side events that do not enhance your quality of life are simply a waste of resources.

        • BossMan

          Funny thing is I have always done just as you advise, I am my own man.

          With that said, this is a testament to the power of a beautiful woman who wields her resources. In the right context, having a beautiful woman at your side is a powerful motivator for a man to achieve great things. The motivation of a beautiful woman pushes men to do the heavy lifting….it is a tremendous source of energy. BUT, in the wrong context, you are just spinning your wheels!

          • Stephen Isienyi

            This sounds like someone who wants to try harder to impress a woman. This woman you mentioned is not at your side yet. In fact, she had stated that she does not want to be at your side. Is this what you call a woman wielding her resources? While this is happening, what were you doing with your resources? Even if you think that she may be bluffing, there is still no usefulness in pining over this woman.

            The point here is that a man should always take a woman exactly for what she says. US men tend to complain that US women play mind games. Yet majority of the US male population perpetuate this negative trait when they try to read between the lines in order to please women – although they and those women know that men are universally terrible at reading between the lines.

            Be true to yourself and to those around you. Set moral values. Challenge everyone to be true to those values always – including that beautiful woman. Gently censure anyone who violates those values irrespective of your personal opinions of that person.

  • David

    I always get “your not my type” and it is mainly because I am a little shorter than the average male 5’5, how does one go about dealing with this? So many girls say they prefer a taller Man but most cases end up getting hurt because he has some sort of bravado. Any advice dealing with the multitude of girls who need a taller man? Seriously Ill be hitting on a 4’11 chick even and she will say sorry I need someone 6’0 or taller. It gets seriously annoying after awhile, and at the same time I am not gonna be like my junk isn’t that small you know…lol Either it be security or wanting to wear heals or maybe some sort of inkling to a larger cock size. Either way this response has been getting to me more often than usual.

    • #randomposter

      Well you know girls r embarrassed to ask guys out to.Well most of them.Seriously guys should be the ones asking out NOT girls.Thank you very much

      • daniel

        Sounds like Ms. Randomposter does not want to be rejected, and leaves that part for guys.How convenient, thank you very much!

    • #randomposter

      Oh and who cares bout size I’d date u

  • liam

    What about wjen gorl says sje likes you and doesnt answer ur question at all and keeps ignoring it, or brushing it off

    • lolana

      Then it means “I like you BUT” (but meaning, not enuff) Sorry. Girls get it too. Sux.

  • Dignity Matters

    lol so ur saying when ur rejected just get down on your knees and beg like a dog? lol. sorry my dignity is worth more than that. if i did ask a girl to date me and she said no i would walk away and never look back

  • Ariell

    but what if i am a girl and she sends a letter.. what should i do?

  • manju

    Hi, In my office i saw a girl and she and me looking both of them eyes locked for few second for a week she just gave me the sign that she is interested and after couple of days i went to her and spoke first i complimented her like you look so beautiful today she said thank you .Next when i said will you be my
    friend she said sorry i dont knwo who you are. and i replied okey bye. Should i go and talk to her or just let it go
    Please advice above and sorry for bad english

    • genesis

      hello manju
      I am not an expert but I can give you an advise
      just talk to her and see where it leads.
      I should have replied with I am (your name) who are you.
      then start conversation.
      Cheers bro

    • jblaze

      Pretty much what genesis said I mean you gave her a bad vibe that you either creepy or not really confident (which is the opposite of what you want to display)

    • caseyjones

      deffo let it go er, will you be my friend? you might as well have handed her your balls and said ‘can you hold these gently for me’ – women are used to getting anything they want from men, they all want to see if could have any man they want to so they make up little tests – be the one who doesn’t suck up to her, doesn’t do stuff for her and says no whilst being but is still nice and professional and you might just create some interest

  • genesis

    you know I was flirting with this girl at my work she was I saw she was really into me.
    I got her phone number but when I called her on a date I got blown out with a simple no I was thinking why the heck did that happen.
    When I read this post I finally realized it was a fake rejection.
    I learned something and I am proud of it
    Thank you for taking you time to post this bro.

    • Stephen Isienyi

      There is no such thing as a fake rejection. If no means no then this no is not a fake no. Even if she is bluffing, you should call it. My suggestion to you is to ignore her and date other girls immediately.

  • Soly See

    I asked a girl out at a mini party and we played almost the whole time. However, I asked her to a movie the next day (saturday) cause it was a friday night. She said she was going to her dads. So I asked if we could make plans and she said she will tell me at school. Does that mean yes?

    • Carl Thompson

      Sounds like a no to me. Move on.

  • Aggie_Guy

    I have spent 20 years asking women out and my rejection rate is 100%. A few were nice about it (politely declined) but most were so cruel it has left me in such pain I have lost the ability to even think about asking anymore out. I was never rude, crude, or anything negative toward them. In fact, the #1 reason I was told to take a hike was because I am “too nice,” but they always had to throw out some other insult such as “ugly,” “stupid,” “will never amount to anything,” (for the record I have 2 degrees including a masters and a dang good job) or my personal favorite of all time, I am “intellectually beneath” her. Two were so offended they told me “just do the world a favor and kill yourself.” These weren’t just random people I had met. Most I had know for anywhere from a few months to well over a year. One I had known for almost 10 years and asking her out ruined our friendship.

    It’s funny, I see men who are rude and abusive toward women, and they will ALWAYS have someone. Even the ones who beat the cr@p our of their women will always have one. Treat a woman with even a small amount of respect and she will reject you like you have Leprosy. What’s even worse is many of the women who had rejected me said to me at one time or another all they wanted was a “good man like you” and then they turn around and reject me in such cruel ways. Then they move on to the next loser boyfriend who ends up hurting them one way or the other. Then it is rinse, repeat, and do it all over again.

    • bccream

      Call it a women biology bro, I was just like you although I did not do it for 20 years. Then I looked it up and researched that “nice guys finish last” google it, take this advice never approach a woman directly, they think you are needy OR manipulative (it does not make any sense to us I know but it is true). Always approach a woman indirectly as if you are not interested, be confident but do not be arrogant and she will want to hold a conversation.

      • alexmcarthy

        My most successful pick-up was when I walked straight up to a girl. She was pretty and surrounded by other guys she had came with all night, but I noticed she wasn’t ‘with’ any of them. I assessed the situation then walked straight up to her and said ‘I like you but I’m not sure why.’ She said ‘oh thank you’. I was drunk and hadn’t thought of the next line, after a few awkward moments she asked me to dance and we ended up dating for a while.

    • Carl Thompson

      Just women being women, Mr Aggie_Guy. I empathise with your situation.
      About me: during my 20s I was an honours graduate, a television and radio presenter, print journalist, occasional male model, had a reserve commission in the army and was a dedicated student of a martial art. I liked European designer clothes, European cars and my family had some money (my income was not shabby either).
      Could I get a date? Not a freaking chance! The girls wanted retarded knuckle-dragging bad boys who had nothing to offer past welfare housing and an abusive relationship.
      My success rate was only slightly better than yours. I averaged about one date per year. Seldom a second date, because I was not ‘exciting’ or ‘fun’ enough, so I was told. I am a dinner and theatre sort of man. That, apparently, was not exciting enough for girls who wanted to gyrate half naked to African drums in some nightclub.
      Okay. What I had to sell was not what the market wanted. I can accept that reality. I cannot live a lie and pretend to be someone or something that I am not.
      I walked away. I decided to observe the first and second principles of military tactics, which were: 1. Fight only the battles that you can win. 2. Do not reinforce defeat.
      Funny thing, after the females passed the age of 30 and could hear their ovaries ticking the glittering party girls who would not give me the time of day when they were 20 began to sniff around in a big way. By that time, I was so filled with resentment and bitterness that my attitude could be summed up by Clark Gabel’s final line in Gone With The Wind: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
      Now I am back at university, working toward a doctorate. Because I am in the top 5 per cent of students the female students of all ages regard me for my utility value. That is the way that women always look at men. What can I do for them, what can they get out of me that is of value to them.
      Hence, I spend a lot of time tutoring my fellow students, most of whom are young enough to be my daughters.
      The mature-age female students have an additional agenda, in that several have made their interest plain. I pretend to not notice and press on in a professional way.
      When they were 20 these same women would have looked at me as though I was dog shit on their shoe. They gave their youth, beauty and fertility to some bad boy. They made their choice. I do not feel inclined to put my seven-figure net worth at risk of the misandrist Family Court to provide one of these women with a comfortable life during her declining years. That would be an act of insanity.

      • caseyjones

        get over it mate, you can’t create attraction with logic and there’s no point resenting women for wanting a better life, everyone does! Holding on to your ideals just leads to disappointment, instead you could get on and use your position to your advantage!

        • Carl Thompson

          Good morning, Mr Jones.
          I appreciate your response, but I think that you missed part of my point.
          When I was younger I had everything to offer females a better life, but they chose the various versions of the bad boy, who usually had little more to offer than an abusive relationship and welfare housing. They did not choose a better life, they chose psychological and sometimes physical abuse at the lower end of the socioeconomic spectrum, because the bad boys were more ‘fun’.
          Okay, they made there choice.
          I as I stated in my previous post, I can accept that. It is the same as any other free market. What I was offering was not what they were buying. That is a reality.
          Now that they have grown brains and are looking up market, am I prepared to take a 50 per cent risk (the current divorce rate) of being financially ruined by one of these women and spending the rest of my life in poverty? That would not be a rational act.

          • b0b hooper

            Like you, I don’t want to take that 50 percent risk either. I am a 3F man, find em’,
            f**k em’, and forget em’.

    • pemory09

      Hi Guys:

      I’m almost sorry to say that I’m on-board with this discussion, but every time I’ve opened-up to a woman it’s always ended in disaster. In other words, I too have a 100% rejection rate…for life. I’m an average guy in his early 50s, make a decent living, and simply cannot fathom treating a woman poorly. Sadly, all it has done for me is cause a lot of pain and heartache and, ultimately, absolute suffering. In other words, every single time I have ever expressed any interest whatsoever towards a woman it has always, always led to a train-wreck ending. Needless to say, it’s left me wishing that I could somehow get rid of this burden of wanting and desire. Why must I be saddled with this? And why do I see every mean-spirited, uncaring SOB doing just fine with the ladies? After a lifetime of out and out rejection I can’t help but believe that the psyche of American women is one that craves men who reinforce their negative images of themselves as worthless and unlovable. Ladies, please, for the love of God stop saying “I just want to meet a nice guy.” It could not be further from the truth.

      • Carl Thompson

        True. Women say that they want decent men, but Friend Zone the decent men and throw themselves crotch first at arseholes. It happens every time. I am of a similar age to you and I have had a similar experience. The behaviour is not confined to US women. The women here in Australia are similar, probably worse.
        The pain in my soul has become too much to bear, from time to time. When that happens, I give serious thought to having myself castrated. If I did not desire women, I would not have the unbearable pain in my soul. The only thing that has stopped me is that without testosterone I would become fat. I also think about suicide, a lot. I just want the pain to stop.

        • pemory09

          Hi Carl:

          Thank you for your reply/message. While it’s good to read your perspective and I can relate to the suffering you’ve experienced, I truly hope that you’re not seriously thinking of suicide. While I oftentimes wallow in this agony, I also try to work on other pursuits. In fact, I’ve recently decided to enter another period of avoiding this situation altogether (I’ve consciously done so before). In other words, I’m refocusing my thoughts, days, energies, etc. on other interests in my life and setting-aside my desire. It’s made me feel significantly better to stop “carrying the weight” of loneliness and wanting (it’s quite a relief actually). And I’m also aware again of the possibility that I can re-channel my desire to love a woman in to being more loving towards others via charity work, kindness towards friends & family, more patience & equanimity in the workplace, etc. Perhaps you too might consider this as an alternative? For me, while somewhat sad to consider I’ll never be able to offer my heart to a female, it’s a much better feeling to know that, should I avoid romantic entanglements, I’ll also be free of the tremendous suffering I’ve always received via all of my pursuits of the fairer sex.

          • pemory09

            Hi again Carl:

            Just re-read your full post from two months ago. It appears that you’ve also stepped-away now and then. It is interesting how most women seem to gravitate towards men who treat them poorly or indifferently. I suppose that nice women who don’t play games perhaps feel like we do: that men aren’t attracted to their kind straightforwardness. Regardless, here’s something you may appreciate: I was at a gathering yesterday and someone made a joke about the three rings in a relationship: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and…the suffering. Everyone in the room, men & women alike, laughed out loud. Seems like none of us can figure this love & romance thing out, huh?

          • Carl Thompson

            Nice women? There are nice women? Aside from my mother and grandmothers, I have not met them.

          • b0b hooper

            Man, I hear ya.

          • Carl Thompson

            Yes, serious thought and for a few years. I have seen death. It does not hold any terrors for me.

          • pemory09

            Do you have anyone with whom you can discuss this?

          • Carl Thompson

            Good to see that you use correct grammar. Not many people know it these days.
            Re speaking with someone: I have a different perspective. I see nothing wrong with suicide, or death in general. I used to be a soldier. Enough said.
            Whenever the subject of suicide arises people say that it is wrong, but nobody has offered to me a rational argument to support that position. It always comes down to the belief system that goes with their imaginary sky friend, or some version of an infantile and unsupportable “because it is” position.
            None of us asked to be born. If someone wishes to depart, it should be their absolute right to leave the building.
            I have had several decades of pain and abuse in various forms. There is no rational expectation that anything will change. Why would any rational person wish to endure more of the same?
            I have an IQ at the lower end of the genius range and I am currently in the top 5 per cent of university students (aka the creepy old man in a lecture theatre full of 20-something girls). I can understand why some of the greatest minds in history made the decision to terminate their own lives. Such people see the world differently because they can comprehend more in both scope and depth. Sometimes, it is the rational thing to do to stop the pain.

          • pemory09


            Thank you for the kind words regarding my grammar and your openness regarding suicide and your right to it. First, no worries about me having an “imaginary sky friend” as I don’t (although I don’t begrudge those who do). I’m a religious person, but not a Christian or an adherent to any other deity-based faith. In addition, I’m not here to tell you that you’re wrong. In fact, I often ask myself “Who am I that I would know better than anyone else?” when it comes to the difficult questions in life. I will tell you, however, that when I was suffering through horrible, awful times after I discovered that my wife was cheating on me and had fleeced me financially (while she was planning to leave me), I found an unbelievable comfort in the kindness of friends and family. Ultimately, seeing how caring almost everyone was towards me renewed my faith in the goodness of others even while my ex was doing everything in her power to make my life a living hell. I suppose I’m telling you all this because it’s always good to connect with others and talk things out. At least it is for me. Perhaps it may provide you with some perspective to do so too. Regardless, I’m here for you and willing to continue the discussion as long as you like.


          • mark4pros

            Hmm.. Suicidal thoughts can be more common than you think. That being said you’re only feeling sorry for yourself! I get it cause I do the same thing, feeling lonely and unworthy. you’re not alone in this. The funny thing about not believing in God is that without God life really is pointless. At least that is what my experience has taught me.
            Personally I have a hard time with the idea of being an azzhole to a woman just for the sake of bedding her. If a woman feel so low about herself why would a decent guy want to spend quality time with her? The problem with having a strong moral fiber is that the pickings get slim. There truly are lonely women out there who are looking for decent men. If you haven’t tried this already get involved with volunteer opportunities because that’s where they are. The trick is to find a woman who is not thinking only of herself, and that is rare. Good luck and happy hunting. 🙂

          • lolana

            I have been there, but I’m glad I stayed on the planet. I am doubtful about the God thing, but not about time…because time really does help. Not always, if time doesn’t ease pain then other people have to do it. I hope you can reach out..but at the same time..I used to try and still feel like dying. Medication made the huge difference. After decades of abusive behavior by my family, I finally was able to gain strength from the way the meds helped me, and cut them off. It made a huge difference. I hope this helps. I will be thinking about you. You are very honest here and I appreciate it.

          • Jack of all trades

            Medications are never the answer: i know that nowadays taking a huge load of chemicals just to fell good with society is common and “accettable” but this is PLAIN WRONG.
            Let nature do his course and if someone doesn’t want to be socially active, supercharged, or doesn’t want to live anymore in this planet let him/her be!
            Let people chose what they want!

          • lolana

            I choose medication. I would rather live, and be sane, and useful to society.

    • lolana

      Try online dating. Then everyone knows while they’re chatting, that they might get asked out.

    • Dr Sys


      Ask yourself – would you want a woman that is ok with being with a guy that abuses her? What does that say about her value as a partner in a relationship?

      You are going about things the wrong way. I take it that you are not part of the TSM community? If you are, then hit the forums and LEARN why this is happening to you. It has nothing to do with you being “ugly” or “stupid”…..

  • LR

    Truth is, guys hate it when girls have other guys throw themselves at them. So what? Guys have to risk everything in love. Love is a battlefield for guys and not girls.

    • jblaze

      well thats not true because the worse situation a woman can be in romantically is to not only end up with a guy that she doesn’t love and doesn’t want to be with her but end up becoming a single mom too. Guys in general don’t have to worry about that.

      • LR

        Guys can be single dads who are out to steal married women.

      • LR

        No girl wants to be with one guy. She just wants to have sex with lots of guys for fun.

    • lolana

      No, it’s a battlefield for girls too.

      • LR

        It’s a battlefield for guys every girl has a right to not be with a guy. Males are always entitled to pursue and compete for females. Females choose whether to be with a guy or not. In other words, males are still entitled to ask females out because they are the superior gender and can do everything they want and risk everything while females cannot. Males are not objects or prizes, only females are. The only thing females can do is reject males who aren’t perfect enough and that’s it. Females are taught to do that as well as blindside males till males know that females can’t read between the lines. Males are still entitled to be eager to please as well. Males have to work hard while females cannot. Everything is still male-dominated and patriarchal and there’s still strict gender roles in dating and relating. It cannot change. Females are to be desired while males are to be the ones desiring after them too much.

        • Jack of all trades

          harsh point but true. thats why all that extremist feminism and so called “gender equality” is horsecrap

        • boganus

          your response is all over the place and complete nonsense.

        • Brady Davis

          First off, we’re not entitled to ask women out, we’re required, if anything. Men have to display their confidence from the start, women, sadly, do not.

          Secondly, men are not a “superior” anything, so get that borderline, tyrannical opinion and stuff it. Now.

          Third, women are not objects.

          Fourth, man and woman have to, equally, work hard. It’s just what we have to do as men that annoys you.

      • LR

        It’s not equal.

        • lolana

          depends what girl you talk to.

  • Awkward

    I didn’t even get rejected at first, she got my number but was in a rush I thought she was too nice to reject me. But one question stood in my head”why did you take so long?” But she’d text me not giving me anything to go off, so I gave up.

  • Happy Daze

    “Type #3) Incongruent rejection” I’m skeptical about the advice on this one.

  • Ben

    So there’s this girl that I’ve known for a few years and I’m really good friends with and I’m wondering how to respond if she rejects me. I really don’t want to mess with our friendship and I don’t want to make her feel bad for saying no. I feel like just saying “Ok, cool.” if she rejects me doesn’t really sum up how much I actually care for her and seems almost dismissive. Any advice?

  • Jeff

    Try to solve this, i got number of a girl which i really like and i told her about my feelings to her and that i really want to be with her she smiled at me and hugged me then we kissed eachother on the cheek and were hugging eachother for 15 Sec then i went away absolutely happy about whole damn day i spent with her…. Btw we live in differend cities like 1500km away. So after i arrived in my city i texted her, everything was fine, next day i called her everything was fine, next days i texted her twice but got no answer and next day i called her but she said that she cant talk right now, so i wrote her long message with words like what is happening and told her that if she dont like me she should say it now. She texted me craziest thing ive ever seen (she wrote that she dont want me to be her boy, but friend!!!) Wtf is this guys, can someone explain me this shit please ? Cause im so damn confused right now.

    • mark4pros

      I’m in the same boat as you my friend so this is my thoughts on them so far.
      1. Friend Zone. I get the hell out of there as fast as possible. Imho I would rather have a woman’s hatred and scorn than a sexless friendship. Tell the bitch that she is not friend material and a dog would make a better friend! See what happens, she won’t see you as a nice guy anymore and may want to fck you out of spite just to prove she is good enough to be “your friend”. One last thought. No one likes being “Friended” it is so much worse for a guy to Friend a girl because their not used to that. Good luck!

  • Bruh

    I’m a cop and when i started talking to this chick she was like ” dude go away” and i said i’m from the NYPD and i want to ask you about that pill (Drug) u put in your glass
    the bitch suddenly shut up and stop being a bitch to everyone

    • Carl Thompson

      Why would you even bother?
      Let the bitch go home with the sociopathic bad boy of her choice. They deserve each other.

  • Brad

    Jake the girl is a friend of mine,after i expressed her my feeling..
    she complimented me and then said that she would like to stick with friendship..what you u advice me?

    • Carl Thompson

      You have been friend zoned, which is a place of anguish from which no man returns. Move on.

  • Brandon

    2 nights ago I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. After having great convo over coffee, I took her to a movie. Things were really well and I thought our first date was nice until I realized she was texting someone while we were holding hands during the movie. During the middle of the movie, she told me that her friend was texting her and that she had to go. She said she was calling and texting her and that she needed her at her house then. I walked her out to her car just like she asked and told her to drive safe. She later texted me saying that she was at the hospital and she felt like a jerk for doing so and she was sorry. She said her friends boyfriend had got into an accident while at work so she was at the hospital. Not to be selfish but she did it in the coldest way. I texted her saying theres no need to be sorry for something like that and that I hope everything was alright. I havent heard from her. Any advice on how i should go about this situation?

    • Carl Thompson

      Forget her and move on. You were being jerked around.

      • lolana

        I dunno. It could be for real. But if she owes you a text I’d wait for it and not text again.

  • Attitude09

    I’ve got the TYPE 3 rejection today
    what should i do…?

    • Carl Thompson

      No means no. Walk away and do not speak to her again.

  • Rob

    Hey dude, I was talking to a girl for a while and we had organised to go out for a date. Then suddenly out of the blue she said she had met someone and was dating them and that she did not want to see two guys at the same time. She as a result, cancelled our date. I am a little bit confused as to why because it does not make sense. I was wondering whether you could help me with this. She claims it was a guy she met a few days ago, yet after she met this guy, her and I had organised to go on a date. As you can see this is a bit of a weird scenario.

    • Carl Thompson

      No big deal. That happens a lot, to both genders.

  • garry

    i was hitting at this girl and it all went smoothly for more than a couple of months. We were enjoying each others company and chatting till late night at times. but then when i asked her out she said no and that very soon she plans to get married. she did not give me a reason either. should i keep behaving as usual and then one day ask her reason for saying no?

    • lolana

      She said she’s getting married. That’s the reason imo.

  • romildey

    a girl gave me all possible signs of she being interested, jealous. she spoke till late night and initiated conversations and definitely enjoyed chatting. I could feel the connect and tension (I have been decent at dating so far). finbally I thought it was the right moment to ask her out and when i did she said no. how to i act with her now, should i pursue further again and if yes, how

  • A Girl

    Um. I disagree with a lot of this. If a girl rejects you I don’t think you should treat it as a test. I know that some girls do this, but if she’s doing that kind of thing I would argue that she’s not someone you want to pursue anyways. If I politely rejected someone and they said “are you seriously going to just leave without giving me your phone number?” or “Are you seriously going to ignore me and talk to your friends right now?” I would perceive that as arrogant, cocky, disrespectful and off-putting. If a girl responds positively to those kinds of reactions, again, I would argue that she isn’t someone you want to pursue. I know it must be really confusing when a girl seems like she likes you but then rejects you, but saying something like you “already know that she likes you and that she should give up this silly act…” probably isn’t going to help the situation, and I think it comes off as cocky and kind of makes you look like an asshole. And again, if she regains interest after you say something like that, I don’t think you want to go there anyways. Just trying to be helpful. I know it must suck being expected to always make the first move and I know rejection hurts. Girls can be confusing. Keep trying!

    • Carl Thompson

      I agree with you largely. When I was interested in women, I was rejected about 99.9999% of the time. I would thank the female for her honesty (politely), then walk away and I did not approach her again. No meant no. If it was what was known as a ‘shit test’ (i.e. playing hard to get) she was so far into female mind games that I did not want her in my life. In the end, I gave up on the whole project. The women where I lived wanted the bad boys, who had nothing more to offer than an abusive relationship and welfare housing. After a while, I concluded that they deserved each other and walked away.

    • lolana

      Yep. When guys say “I know what you’re REALLY thinking” it’s actually rude. Don’t tell me what I’m thinking or what I really want. You’re not in my head!!!

  • Steve

    For six months I was hanging out with a girl once a week and she flirted with me a lot. She even Hugged me a few times and told me why she liked me. So two weeks ago I asked her out and she told me that she only wanted to be friends nothing more but everybody around me saw that she wanted more than that.

    • Carl Thompson

      The Friend Zone, the abyss from which no man returns. Move on. Forget her. When she realises that the bad boy for whom she just tossed you aside is not husband material, give her a big FU and let her go home and hear her ovaries ticking.

      • b0b hooper

        Spot on Carl.

  • Carl Thompson

    I gave up on women years ago, but when I was interested in women when they rejected me (which happened 99.9999% of the time) I would thank them for their honesty, walk away and never, ever approach them again.

  • FezzinFes

    Damn man. I just experienced number 3 to a tee. I’ll follow up soon and try your approach.

  • Riledadile

    Got rejected tonight. I asked. I was really happy when she actually considered it. But, all of us were with friends at the dance. The night got worse. It became awkward, we barely talked to each other. She finally brotherzoned me and said no. I’m so bummed out. All confidence down the drain. What now…

    • Riledadile

      Going to school today soon. I have a bit of confidence left, so I’m going to say a few things. I am going to apologize to all my friends, especially to her, about making the night troubled and tiresome. If I feel like it is right, she avoided one of my questions by giving me what seemed to be an unclear and/or untruthful answer. Anyways, should I try to ask her out again? What she did didn’t really fall under any category, so I’m unsure. She actually thought about it, so it wasn’t an instant no, she considered. What do I do?

      • Colin Fres

        Dude don’t apologize for how you feel to anyone. At the end of the day ur a man and she’s a woman and you want to mate. Every guy in the world is doing what ur doing. You have to draw a line in the sand and confront her about wasting your time. Either she’s in or out. Going to school and seeing her all the time is hard, but forget her and don’t hang around. If you must hang around talk shit about her till she doesn’t want to hang out with you anymore.

      • lolana

        No don’t ask her out! She friendzoned you…..

  • pemory09

    Want to also post my latest escapades. Been chasing a younger woman for months now. During the past two weeks she upped the ante with an out-of-the-blue phone call, very flirty texts, hugs, long talks, and a couple of visits to my place. A few nights ago she agreed to again come to my home after we went to dinner. It was cold so we sat in front of a roaring fire, had a couple of drinks, enjoyed some good conversation. After a few hours I decided to tell her about my feelings towards her and…it killed the conversation, laughing, and fun. She immediately started to act weird and, within minutes, had left. What did she want from me? To just hang? To make a move? She texted afterwards and apologized for “misleading” me. I’m baffled….

  • Silvesteter Ezhumala

    We must know the truth about any man or woman.Should not rely totally upon. An inner attachment will save us from many insults and deceptions.

  • mark4pros

    I’ve tried a few approaches to the rejection situation. 1. Is the oh thank god cuz you really remind me of my sister. 2. Is you’re really not friend material and I already have a dog. 3. say if Id known you where a cunt wouldn’t of asked. Then keep moving on.
    Playing along with them for us is pointless. Desperation is not attractive. And being the rejector is so much better than the rejectee. Good luck!

  • amitabh

    hi she is my business friend, we met just 4-5 times and i attracted towards her. We started chat on social media. One more things she is much younger than me. both of us are married. but I think, I get creepy and by mail I told her about my feelings…


    after this, she asked me not send such type of mail or text her, because she is married and asked me maintain distance in between.

    She talks me phone in a decent manner.

    suggest me what to do now ?

    • lolana

      Do as she asks and don’t hit on her anymore.

  • Cyber Guru

    While I agree and understand that a cheating partner does hurt pretty badly, I will however not expect the person being cheated upon to sit down and watch like a dummy.

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  • jerry montoya

    So I’ve been talking to this girl and we have dated but then she broke up with me, but we are still talking and idk its weird like shell say cute things that will make me smile and laugh but when I try she acts serious and talks to me as a friend Im so confused I can’t tell I she still likes me or just wants to be my friend please help and thank you….

    • lolana

      She wants your attention, but only for friendship, sounds like

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  • Gibbi

    I’m black man from Africa wants date a Italian girl but i wrote a message to but she reject me by saying NO. What should be my second message to her?

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  • Maria Mayer

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  • steve

    I’m a contractor who does work at this woman’s job. She is a office manager. She greets people as they come in to the med spa. Every time I walk or she sees me she flirts with me. One day I was leaving and I was telling he bye, she began telling me her age, marital status, and says I have no children. We then continued talking and she then says she has things at her home that needs fixing. So I gave her my card and told her to call me so I can go over and fix her problems. To make along story short she was flirting with me to get her home fixed at a lower price. She told me she was just being friendly.

  • Am

    I’m in high school . And my case is similar to type 3 . I got hints that she loved me . But she said it was her mistake and friendzoned me . Now we are in a chatting relationship on facebook . So how should I get her back .. ? Through texting ?

  • Can Erman

    İ just went up to a girl who i taught looked cute, i live in a very hard country for game, i am 18 years old and that’s the first time i approached a girl, i know i am a loser. İ thaught about if i should do it first for 2 minutes then i went for it. She was with her friend, i started with “Hey can i talk to you for a minute” she replied why, i told her that i really liked her style and just as i said that she turned around with her friend like i was some perv. Did i do something wrong or is it just a rejection ?

    • Carl Thompson

      You probably did not do anything wrong. Women are generally bitches, especially the young ones.

    • lolana

      probly best to approach women if they’re alone, or if not, only if they’re giving you the eye.

  • Carl Thompson

    I believe that the correct response to rejection is to say nothing and walk away. Remember her and do not approach her again. To do anything else is stalking, or harassment. Only a narcissistic head case would continue to approach/harass a female who had rejected him.
    If the rejection was a shit test, too bad. Men should not be interested in women who play those sort of mind games. Life is tough enough without that layer of difficulty added to the process.
    For me, if she changes her mind later . . . tough. That ship has sailed.
    My view on dealing with women has become hard and cynical, as a result of years of interactions with females.
    When I was a teenager and then a 20 something I could almost not get a date. There was nothing ‘wrong’ with me, it was just that I was a clean-cut young professional and females of that age want/wanted the ‘exciting’ bad boys, even though they had little to offer past an abusive relationship and welfare housing.
    It was not until I was about age 30 that I figured out the bad-boy phase.
    At the same time, I lost interest and walked away. I applied two of the principles of tactics that the army taught me when I was trained as an officer. They were: fight only the battles that you can win; and do not reinforce defeat.
    I was amazed when, after age 30, women who would not have looked at me when they were 20 began to make their interest plain in ways that would have been unthinkable a few years earlier.
    Too late. By that stage my head was not in the right place. I was no longer interested.
    The answer to female rejection is to walk away . . . completely.

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  • Lodmot

    This sounds like good advice if you’re in high school still.
    In my experience, every girl that’s rejected me actually turned out to be somebody I’d rather not date. If I ask a girl out, and she says “No thanks,” then she clearly isn’t the one for me. I’m not going to pursue somebody that doesn’t want to date me in the first place. Having that mindset has actually led me to finding the most AMAZING girlfriend I could ever ask for. The only problem is, this mindset also means you’ll be waiting a lot longer before you get a girlfriend. So if you’re a guy that’s just looking for a status and to look cool, because you “did this one and did that one”, then this isn’t the best method. I was just simply looking for someone I could spend the rest of my life with, and this worked out for me.

    I very rarely ask girls to go out on dates anyway, because the couple of times I dated, it was such an awkward feeling. Dating to me feels very scripted — you and her both dress up, the guy goes and buys her flowers, he drives to her house and opens the car door for her, they go out for a classy dinner and talk to each other, and maybe to a movie, etc. Then they hug each other good night and go home. Well, that’s what I did on my dates anyway. x.x

    It felt too scripted and fake. I personally want for us to just dress up in normal clothes and hang out casually, almost like friends. On the dates I went on, I also had trouble finding things to even talk about because the situation just felt so awkward.

  • JCH


  • lolana

    Response to #3: WRONG, so so much of the time. This is what leads some guys to up the ante and keep getting more and more inappropriate. I have recently had to deal with this until finally I told the guy, look, it is not ever gonna happen. Now he IS butthurt, but there was no other way. I can’t count the numerous small rejections (this is someone at work) by which I’ve indicated my feelings, such as “don’t call me baby” and stuff like that. It’s a person who never actually had a girlfriend and is in his 50’s and has some issues. He is a super guy, BUT the idea of getting with him literally grosses me out. I like talking to him just fine sometimes and this is where he has gotten confused. I hate that I had to be so blunt, but he created a situation where he invited me to go stay and house sit with him. I was literally sputtering at how to respond, and I was like, no, why would I do that? I didn’t know WHAT to say. After that I sent him an email (private email) telling him please don’t ever do that stuff again, we are ONLY friends and that is all it is ever going to be. Was I too rough? I just felt really yucky after he did that.

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  • Dennis Justice McCloud

    Every rejection can be turned around if you know how, and this is by far one of the best articles I’ve read on that subject. Thanks for sharing.

  • rfctel

    obviously you want to get rid of me . my backside is my best side!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Adam Gianella

    This is a quality article. The only value I can think to add deals with the mood the person you are approaching is in, prior to you engaging her. If the female in question is unreceptive because of personal reasons, there may be nothing you can do to change her mood. Maybe she has had a rough day, recent bad experiences with men, or some other difficult life event recently. However, it’s always worth a shot. Women definitely are drawn like a magnet to confidence… 😉

  • Appy

    What if you accused her like a freak or maniac and told her that her sex style sucks….and suddenly want her back becoz you feel like you havent had the rocking moment of your life with her yet and it happens that you actually said it to her….its like shes going for true love n im going for just sex….will she be reconsidering to get back in my arms….can the GFAS do it?

    • StarShinning

      You are kidding right?
      Will GFAS work for you?
      Try turning it around.
      Would you forgive her if she acted the way you did?
      You are lucky she simply walked away.
      Of course – if you really have to get her back – you could always change your name and try plastic surgery.

  • Jacobo

    Wow, this is pure gold, I’ve faced all of these types and didn’t have any decent response most of the times (specially with the cold blooded one). This will help A LOT, so now I know how to handle every situation

  • Davey

    Hi I sabotaged my first chance at true love about 6 months ago, Im 38 and never have had a girlfriend. She was the first girl to ever look at me this way and it took my breath away. I’ve always hoped that the good guy finishes last…..only problem was that when it finally did…..I became a petrified chicken shit and totally became a mumbling mess around her and she became very cold and hates me now. The last 6 months have been devastating for me and I cry every day about the fact that I didn’t man up. I feel embarrassed , humiliated and a coward. I see her every now and then (she works at the same corporation as me) and it is such a horrible feeling of shame. I honestly am struggling with each day to live with regret…..and especially being shut down and not being able to explain yourself…..helpless and hopeless.

  • Adrian Rivera

    its very complicated, because sometimes its hard to understand and also at the end of the day Its really comes down to paying attention to the hints, eye contact and nonverbal signals, etc. at least that is what happens to me.

  • John Donald

    Thanks for this Christian I have never actually had a girlfriend and suffer from alot of self rejection were I have decided before she has rhat I don’t stand a chance. This has causes me tp not have the lide that I have desired and I am ready for a change. So I’m in the process of simply going for it in my quest to finally get my first girlfriend ever. These tipss are very helpful for me.

  • Mauricio

    It hits some nervs knowing that you’ve been in all of the cases, but I admit that for each case there’s some stuff I would have never guessed. It all could come down to self esteem and confidence. At least thats what I get from all this… Very interesting indeed.

  • Sean Lazarus

    I don’t see the point in the whole “bad boy” approach. Women are going to figure it out eventually. So why start off that way? It just makes you look like a liar and a wannabe. Being yourself works better than trying to be something you aren’t.

  • lamar rose

    Man I’ve been rejected probably more times then any guy here but what I learned is that nobody is immune to rejection every girl has different taste so I don’t take it personal when a girl rejects me it doesn’t matter how good looking you are or how good of a person you are no one is immune to getting dissed there might not be anything wrong with you and you still might get dissed I use to be scared to talk to women but now if I see a woman I like I don’t care how good looking she is I don’t look at her as if she’s out of my league because I respect myself as a man more then I value her vagina I don’t care how pretty she is because I don’t look at her as the prize I look at myself as the prize I accept and respect myself I don’t need a woman to accept me and I don’t need a woman to validate me I know girls that say Chris brown is ugly as shit and I know girls who say he’s the best looking I’ve heard girls say Trey songs is cute and girls who say he’s not all that its all subjective everybody has there own taste so you should never let a woman knock u off your game MJ lost a lot of games when he was a basketball player but just because he lost a game doesn’t mean he’s going to quit the game he’s just going to sharpen up his skills for the next game and let that loss inspire him to go even harde

  • lamar rose

    Rejection is a part of life and it should never be something you take personal at the end of the day you can’t please everybody and if you try to someone’s not going to like it and that doesn’t just apply to women but life in general a lot of great people in history had to deal with getting dissed or rejected Christ was perfect all he did was try to save us and they killed him Martin Luther king was a nice man and all he wanted was freedom for everyone someone killed him my point is you can’t please everyone like I said before and also u should never try to look for a women to accept you you don’t want her to accept you you want her to choose you for example if a woman sees a puppy she’s going to be like awe look at the cute puppy she accepted that puppy she might have even felt sorry for the puppy but if a sees a pitbull she’s going to look at that pitbull like I want that dog that pitbull was chosen when a guy looks to a woman for acceptance girls look at that as a weakness it’s time for us men to value ourselves as men who the fuck cares if a woman rejects you I think the reason a lot of guys lack confidence is the way we were brought up are mothers and society teach us to worship pussy and put it on a pedestal a lot of men value vagina more then they value themselves

  • John

    My answer to rejection is “NEXT” – every rejection takes you one step closer to finding the one who won’t rejected you besides what is rejection really it just someone’s way of saying you don’t suit what I’m looking for which in the long run is better for you otherwise you could get stuck with someone not suited for you. Life is a game to play and it’s important you know the rules – being rejected is part of the game so never look at it as a negative always look at it as a positive.

  • Sisonpyh Trovec

    Catgirl is so cute I’ll kiss her RIGHT AFTER Mr Paws’ rejection.

    My biggest sticking point was the self-rejection or ejecting from a set too soon because I couldn’t be bothered with the girl or she was boring me. In reality I was boring myself back into my comfort zone with internet porn. The best antidote is to stay in set and just TALK TALK TALK and bring other people in. Also listen, as it provides conversational ammunition.

    I used to be afraid to open at clubs out of fear of not being heard, or leaning in and looking like a chode, so I used the eye contact, smirk, hand out, spin handshake, pull in and kiss. EVEN IF she turned her sheek, I was still FUELLED to keep talking/interacting, and if there was a rejection or extreme stiffness, it only made me want to approach someone else. The key is feeling the vibe and taking right action from that. EXTROVERSION wins every time, and we all have that side to our personality even if it is drowned out 98% of the time.

    I sound like #RSDTyler, but this postal comment is a winner.

  • Charles Boulais

    I’m a man in his mid 50s and to this DAY I can’t figure out how to deal with rejection . . . when I was younger, more virile and less “gray”, it seemed so much easier – examine my part in it, try to be better man for the next woman, and then just move on. NOW, after 3 (THREE) marriages, it seems to me that no matter how hard I’ve worked. or continue to work on myself, women my age STILL think they’re 16 year old cheerleaders who are still completely desirable and have no issues of their own. I know I’m probably still just a tad immature about the whole thing, and it’s not entirely their fault (if nothing else, I HAVE to look at the type of women I’m choosing) but I am on the verge of completely giving up on the whole dating scene and resigning myself to the fact that I will never find anyone willing to understand that relationships ARE difficult and require work. It just seems so easy for others to dispose of a new partner, and that they feel the grass is always greener on the other side . . . when, in actuality, I don’t feel it’s “greener”, it’s just a “different shade” of green! (No matter what, one ALWAYS has to realize that NO ONE is perfect, and certain concessions must be made for a relationship to work – but I feel as though I’m the only one who realizes this!!) Oh, well, life marches on!

  • Len Sterling

    Be confident, squash negative self talk & take big risks are my takeaways from this article.

  • Jason

    #4 was some how d most common in our environment, and I guess it has happened to so many times, u just gat too overcome it, is part of life.

  • Mark Macaluso

    Most of this is good advise in general and can be applied to anything that you are afraid of. Mentally framing things and actively choosing how you are going to perceive things is super powerful.

  • Prabhat Singh

    I’m 27 , Indian ,I started talking to a girl ,22 in Jan 2015 , lives right next to my house. Proposed her in June, she said she needs some time to think about it as she was too shocked to say yes or no because she never imagined us in THAT way. Every day i used to tell her how much i love her by any means , either by poetry or whatever. Came close many times but she said she cant be intimate with me unless she’s in a relationship with me. Came close to kiss her many times but didnt , because i thought she might not like it. After some time , she told me that she broke up mutually with somebody last year and she has not moved on from that, yet. She was very fearful that if she and i come into a relationship and it gets broken in the future, she wont be able to bear that. We continued talking for months. I waited on and on and on and finally on November 17 , she said she wont be able to love me as she still has feelings for that guy she broke up with last year and she couldnt throw those feelings out. She also said we cant be be more than good friends , also , she said its not my fault and i loved her as much as i can. I was heartbroken , cried but after 10 days or so, i feel much better. I still meet her, talk to her , lots of fun , jokes. Is there a little hope or should i just move on and find someone else?

  • Michael Henderson

    Very good and very informative, Christian. This really does help put rejection into perspective. Thanks!!

  • kmonster

    woman should do the approaching. After all they are equall

  • Luis Borton

    Man I needed this! I’ve got rejected more times than I can count and I never knew how to take it! There was once a hot girl I was attracting, she gave me the “i have a boyfriend rejection” and I INTENSELY FAILED that rejection and punched the wall and cried my heart out, the second part on my own. I just used this when a girl tested me 5 mins ago and I could c she got surprised on how I handled it and more attracted to me, I’m guessing she’s thinking about me now! Plus rejection was one of the things holding me back from getting girls, even the girls I didn’t like (the more the merrier, but I only wanted to get them so I had a good crowd wanting me so the better girls did too), now I have this I’ve got over that fear and I’ll be going outside getting em’ in bout’ 5 mins! Can’t thank you enough!

    P.S. I think I’ll still need to work on my techniques as all of the time when I met a girl and talked to her, FRIEND ZONED!

  • spamjoes

    I’m not sure what this falls under. A girl I was going to go on a first with last week asked me to call her on Thursday night so we could chat before our date. That phone call lasted seven hours. We went out the next night, had a great dinner together and spent the entire weekend together in bed at her place. She said I was, by far, the best sex she has ever had and that I made her orgasm more times in two days than all her other relationships combined. I would touch her and she would almost get to that point. Sunday night she called me and we talked for six hours. All day Monday, fantastic text conversations and she called me again and we talked another hour. We continued to text and at around 8pm I fell asleep on my couch. I woke up at 4:30am and see she had texted me a few times after 8pm with no response from me and then at 10pm she had texted that this is too much too fast and that this isn’t what she wants. Thoughts? I’ve known a lot of women in my time but really thought she was going to be “the one”.

  • Caty Steiner

    Can a single guy just want to befriend a married woman that is strictly platonic?

  • Caty Steiner

    I informed this woman I know about an event twice which she responded first that she wasn’t going to go and the second time with a thank you. I didn’t tell her I was going or not. There were great vibes between us and I’d catch subtle things to take note she’s possibly interested in me. I’d like to see her again. Should I wait to see if she attends, or do I reach out closer to the event date and ask her if she’s going?

  • Josh Oakley

    Is this satire? The article opens with:
    “Understand: overcoming rejection is not about “saving face”, but rather, being confident in who you are and accepting the risks that come with going after what you want. When you feel this confidence, you’ll allow yourself to take more risks in your social life.”

    …and then goes into a slew of responses that are all about face-saving and risk-evasion. It’s incredibly easy to say, “no problem, take care”, and continue with the woman as friends, and/or look elsewhere for romantic or sexual interactions.

  • Sumit Gupta

    On the Chocolate ? Day…
    At evenings near school area I given her chocolate but she said no…
    Even I am also not told her that I love you (only via eye contact )
    Some of class students around me so its rejection or.. Temporary rejection

  • mike

    I do really struggle with rejection one of the reasons I am a sales man to push me through the rejection and almost try and get me used to it almost 2 years and getting there. I am a sensitive person which for me is Alot harder than most and I had some really bad experience which probably won’t help, I will defiantly study this more and implement it in my work and social life thanks Christian

  • Jacob Eggink

    Facing rejection is like facing a mountain, you can either climb it or
    walk away. What you do with it defines your determination to be the
    better man in the room. The most interesting guy. Not to mention, an
    inspiration to other men, a mystery, an enigma. A GOD. Be the man, so
    you can be the God of your own life. Become powerful by facing rejection
    head on in life and with women.

  • Dylan Bighorse

    All of this advice is great. The breakdown of all the different types of rejections and how to turn them to your advantage is explained simple and easy to understand. If the time ever arises, heavens forbid, I am going to try and use these to gain her accompaniment in a relationship.

  • michael

    good simple stuff good job C.H.

  • James

    Well I just got rejected not long ago so great article!! Helps keep ur confidence and self esteem in tact! Never let it affect u!

    • JCH

      Thanks James!!

  • P_G_A

    I wish I could read this years before…
    (Unfortunately) real problems, (fortunately) nice solutions ( :

  • Ahmed Lodhika

    For number four, how do you frame her as sexually inexperienced? Especially when it’s true for you yourself?

  • awwhellno

    So basically young attractive women have become cold-blooded reptiles who only warm up to someone considered universally hot. I noticed that many of these strategies are essentially responses to a woman’s lack of respect towards the man. Women who do not respect what the men have to offer (civilization itself) act in these nonchalant mean-spirited ways. If women have the gall to not reply to your masculine energy with feminine energy it means that they are artificially being supported by another benefactor who is duping them into thinking that there is a better deal for them around the corner. A lot of these rejections come from the assumptions that having casual sex with one man will destroy their reputation into putty, yet having the same casual sex with another will lift them into the heights of our society. The underlying message that comes from these women is this: “if you do not possess any beautiful features you are despicable!” rather than “thank you strange man for making my day better.” But that is ultimately just an assumption that Western women seem to have adopted into their psyche. In the end you simply get a whole population of women practiced at curtailing their feminine energy away like spotlights pointed at the ground awaiting the arrival of the celebrity male who just might choose to give them a free autograph. Or a baby.

    The Western world, particularly the US, has turned its women into cold-hearted, genetic filtration robots who freeze out scores of males in their short fertility window based on the assumption that a marriageable male who fits a checklist of physical features will be waiting for them at the tail end of their careers. This is all propagated by the use of cliques and social circles the women, particularly white women, use to restrict access to their feminine energy. The cliques are used to hunt for classically handsome males for short term dalliances and to burn out pretenders. What these women often don’t realize is that they are playing a lottery with their very fertility with their cliquish High School behavior.

    They forget that all the benefits that seemingly come from nowhere: the jobs, the money for school, the vacations, all of it arises from being given special treatment for their youth and beauty. The same behaviors that they indulge in to snag a hot guy for a short term dalliance such as evil rejections, close mindedness, iciness, standoffishness, reserved femininity, aloofness when asked out, judgments, bitch face, nuclear rejections, contempt of minorities (indicates extreme cowardice), bastard children, declarations of casual sex with only one type of guy, etc. etc. only adds to the huge garbage pile men inspect later on to see if they are suitable for breeding. The only women that are able to indulge in these actions and continue to get men of high quality are ones that have sexual clout a la porn stars – or – extreme beauty a la celebrities.

    What’s funny is that almost none of these situations apply to women in non-English speaking countries who arguably claim the same freedoms as Western women. Notice women in many of these countries have an average “shared” beauty rather than the occasional bombshell found here in the states. Those non-Western women work jobs just like men such as lawyers and doctors, but they rarely ever set aside their feminine sweetness for the “right” person.

  • Dolan Dee

    if a guy tries to fool me into thinking I REJECTED HIM BECAUSE I AM SEXUALLY INEXPERIENCED ID KNO and hed b in the friend zone holding my purse so fast.

  • Albert Giesbrecht

    You forgot one: She is a burnt out, bipolar, former hippy who can’t fall in love anymore and needs to spend time alone and not with you.

  • Jeff Dover

    Thanks Christion,Its been along time since ive had to face rejection your right on with this.

  • Rob

    well I believe rejection 2 – Lukewarm Rejection was the women gave me. I had a great time when I was at the bar. But let me tell you some of great times with my bartender. It started after I seen her smiling at me. Then as was siting down on a chair then she started rubbing my arms. But now what surprised me was that she let me feel her breasts which was awesome! But the next day I went to the bar that women was gone. I found out from another bartender that she quit her job. So I guess she forgot out me.

  • Simon Cowell

    I’d rather just stay single forever and burn in bitterness and hatred. Girls are cunts.

  • Philip Lewis

    I recommend elimination of the GIFs.


    When I proposed her she said you are knocking on the wrong door…she said I respect you a lot and blah blah…we still talk a bit…now I have asked her for friendship.again she is saying tgat she can do bit I will have problems in doing so…


      I hope Iyou guys have figured out the unsaid dots..

  • Aditya Dalvi

    I was going to say to her what i feel about her but instantly she repleid “dont say anything i am not interested”….. she was with her friend and her friend knew that i am going to propose her friend was smiling at me and i was pretty nervous at that moment……..and i really want that girl

  • Sac

    Hello. I am married guy. I have proposed a married neighbour of mine. I felt that she is interested in me. But when I told her that I have started getting the feelings for you, she replied “No, I am very committed. We are just friends”

    What should I understand’ what kind of rejection is this and do I still have a chance here.

    Please reply

  • kay khanna

    Hey love the part about I am not that into you. Never thought of handling it that way. Thanks dude, very helpful.

  • Manas Ranjan Ptra

    I recently got rejected. What happened is that I liked a girl.I was too afraid to approach her and I said my friend to convey my feelings to her and my friend said that she rejected as she didn’t like my face. What should I do???

  • JackBlack

    Perfect!..great Tips

  • Vermillion

    I need a gf asap

  • Max

    Well f*ck. If I’d be better at spotting #3 I’d been seeing a lot more progress. For some reason when someone brings up that they are taken or whatever I feel like I’m stepping on someone’s toes because I wouldn’t want anyone hitting on the girl I’m with. I really need to get my shit together and just push it!

    Do you have any advice on getting away from the feeling that I’m steeping on other peoples toes? I feel like that’s my biggest weakness when it comes to my game and going forward.

  • mubroor

    Hi, I asked a girl out and she declined that she is a bi and wont crush on me.. I believe that she isn’t and she might Not have like the approach by me, bcz I have never done so in my life, I think I was getting the signs from her but I was too slow, used to be nervous around her not before I thought I would ask her out, now this falls in category 3 and o don’t wanna give up as she doesn’t look like a bi to me and her pics on social media as well are not the ones which a bisexual or lesbian would post… I have been trying to be normal with her but over thinks a lot that she might think it wrong or something,, anyways what should I do, that was the first time I ever did this and want to make things normal now… Or can I be lucky ? Lolz

  • Melvino5

    I met an older girl at work she is 31 and I’m 20 but we are both single. We became close together we eat lunch and stay together all the time, sometimes she leaves her car at home and ask me for a ride and we’ve been on a date twice.
    I fell in love with her because of how open and close she became to me but I’m afraid to tell her I love her in the face. I texted her my feelings for her and she said she took me as a little brother and became angry, she also told me she’s going to distance herself away from me but I really and genuinely love her. Please what should I do

  • Ben

    I’m another fallen one, sadly now I need help… I would appreciate your feed back on my situation.

  • James Guthrie

    You say good buy, and better luck in your next life BITCH.

  • redfloyd69

    Wow, why so much complaining on these comments? It’s not about nice or bad- it’s about attraction. If a girl has a crush or is crazy about you- you can be the sweetest and she’ll like you. In fact, that’s what they want.

    But as well, there has to be chemistry, passion, compatibility, connection, etc, beyond that. A lot of assholes, as you say, are socially adept, and know how to charm, build rapport, influence, seduce, etc. They also have high social value. You can be kind, decent, fun, exciting, charming, interesting, socialable all in one.

    If you get rejected up front and friend-zoned: they’re not physically attracted to you. Straight up. A girl won’t reject or friend-zone someone she’s crazy about. Won’t happen. You’ll never hear the lines or excuses posted on this thread. It’s not because they’re nice, decent, and caring. But she might not pursue something romantically, or maintain a steady relationship afterwards, if that’s all there is. More than likely, she’ll give him a shot.

    But the high maintenance & stuck up ones are damn near impossible to please & maintain. They want f’n everything, in the same person. Looks, money, status, excitement, kindness, all those good natured qualities, charm, connection, etc, and they’re still ungrateful, irritable, nit-picky, etc.

    And same as the bad guys- some girls are bad news and not worth the trouble. And there’s the crazy bitches, attention whores, gold diggers…. Gotta be careful out there. A lot of these girls end up with bad guys, as well.

    It’s way more complex than nice and bad, though. Not gonna get along with everybody, and women you’re attracted to & vice versa is the same ordeal… With even less options to weed through. So many factors and variables involved.

    It’s hard, man.

  • Vardaan

    Great article, want my free copy of gfas soon.

  • Peter Karras

    I’m not sure which categories I’m in. I liked a girl who I’ve known for a while but I saw on her facebook she now has a boyfriend and I responded by calling her a manipulative bich because she regeted me three times and I’m done congratulating her everytime she gets a new boyfriend.

  • Hey man, thanks for writing in,

    Check out our article on getting her to ask for your number;

    You can also send us an email to and we’ll respond within 24 hrs with direct advice.

    Thanks brother,


  • Dj Mike

    Hey man i need help, i am a teen and i need help with this one girl on like. Everyday i get in the bus to go home and i just sit and listen to music. Probably 4 or 5 out of many times i’ve looked at this one girl that I already know about and we just looked at each other for a while and just smiled. And i already liked this girl. So i think you can understand why i would think she liked me. Till today; i messed up and told one of friends to be aware of this situation and he told me to add her on snapchat. I was to shy to ask her so i asked someone that knows her snap already. She wasn’t accepting for some reason (when later i found out she didn’t know me by my name as the username). So i told my friend im gonna make my move. till i started realizing im gonna chicken out if i don’t know what i am going to say s. So i asked him for help cause he was a god with girls. My friend started to talk about me – i’m a really nice guy bla bla bla… i like her till for some reason at the end she said she doesn’t like me!!! And its just didnt make sense especially when she told my friend that it was hard talking to me and i felt the same way till now i feel very upset i did this mistake to tell my friend to the work i feel really depressed and don’t know what to do other than solution #3 but even thought that might help its just hard for me to understand at the same time whats going on can you or anybody on this chat help me out here thank you so much.

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  • J

    Well, i would like to know what you think about something which happened now, i meet a girl at the gym, I connected with her and we spoke for a while, this club was a trial for a day, this discussion ran in the back of my mind for a while. i didn’t show up again till i subscribed, a week after: of course I sought her again an again we spoke deeply. Well went then quickly on the next level grabed her number and took her a couple days after for a date, she was on me and me on her, when we were out I tried to kiss her and been rejected advancing a ”boy friend” beginning of the date the first thing she said is that she ”wanted to break” I smelt their the bloody relationship and the timing was perfect, but still got rejected, and then she wanted to meet up with her friends, i said that I was quiet busy and felt like I’d not been trusted. Well, the i sent a text the day after to say thanks that appreciated as if nothing went wrong, a couple days after a called her for a run at the bitch, but she was cold she didn’t say no a I was supposing to make the confirmation the day after, and i cancelled it, letting know that I was finally busy that day. A week after a texted her for a Chinese lunch as she told me she like chenese food telling I’m calling later in the week… But nothing no answer nothing… What would you do guys? Next? Some tricks?…. I’m French so if their is some in the text sorry for that. Thanks in advance for your feedback. J.

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