When it comes to date night there are two types of guys: men who either think they have it all figured out or fellas who honestly have no idea where to begin.
The caveat to dates is that although you got her to agree to go on this adventure with you, you still have to deliver a great night — you’re not completely in the clear in terms of selling yourself to her.
You want to impress her but you want to be yourself. You want her to have fun but you also want her attention. Maybe your idea of fun and her idea of a good time are two entirely different concepts — there are a lot of factors to take in.
But what if I told you that you could make every date night a good night? That there are good dates and bad dates and by avoiding the later, you can step into any date with the supreme confidence that everything — at least on your part — was executed to the letter?
While there is no perfect script for the unpredictability of human interaction, there are methods you can adopt that can control the environment where you and your woman of interest can intimately bond.
And it all starts on what not to do.
Do not take her to the movies. Do not take her out for coffee. Oh yeah, the classic dinner and a movie routine is done, too. Go ahead and put a fork in it.
Think about it: you are really into this woman. You like her enough to take time away from your job, friends, money, and responsibilities. Do you really want to spend it picking at food or with your eyes glued to a big screen.
Romantic comedies have ruined us. Scenes from movies like When Harry Met Sally and 50 First Dates have melted our brains to mush. Besides being trite and predictable, the dinner and a movie routine limits your creativity and puts the task of entertaining her in the hands of someone else.
Food, in general, can just get out of hand. Between food allergies, picky eaters, and suffering through saving your appetite for the meal, you’re already throwing plenty of unnecessary hurdles your way.
In addition, the dinner table is an environment where you are stuck trying to force conversation and make chemistry virtually out of thin air. You risk the chance of running out of things to say and you don’t want to end up staring uncomfortably at one another across the table for what seems like an eternity.
Women are also apprehensive about eating in front of men they want to impress (although I like a woman that can eat) which also disrupts the whole idea of just being yourself.
Similarly, movies are horrible for chemistry. Every single second you have with her is valuable. She needs to be either spilling her life story out to you or gobbling up whatever punchlines and jokes you have, and movies completely take away this possibility.
Think about it. You’re in a dark room with your eyes glued to the screen the whole time. Where exactly will you have the opportunity to interject to ask about her siblings and childhood growing up? In the middle of Wolverine slicing someone up to shreds?
Yes, she could have a blast, a grand of a time, but was it because of you or was it because she really enjoyed seeing Ryan Gosling sing ballads while dancing across the screen?
When you have valuable one-on-one time with someone, you want to make the best impression possible. It’s a rare occasion when the ball is fully in your court — it’s your chance to show her what life with you can be, how it should be and that why it’s better than life with anyone else.
A good date is any activity where the date itself occupies the conversation.
The museum, zoo, sunglasses shopping, taking pictures, maybe something competitive. Really anything that will create a lasting memory. “Outside of the box” is a term that gets associated with these kinds of date ideas, but they really should be the standard.
As opposed to dinner and a movie, ‘activity dates’ saves you from talking your foot into your mouth, but more importantly, it gives you the chance to break physical boundaries. A delicate hand placement on her lower back, an arm squeeze in excitement, or even a playful half-shove when she sinks the putt at mini-golf, are all wins.
Even thinking of activities where she can take a souvenir home is a great strategy in ensuring that she always remembers the night. A photo booth or stuffed animal at a fair gives more of an incentive to call you back or say yes to a second date as opposed to the memory of a movie that she possibly could have hated.
At the end of the day, the most successful dates are the ones where you feel in control of every aspect of the night. You know where you two are going, you know exactly how much time you’re spending in each spot, with everything covered and no hiccups. The smoother the better.
The last thing to remember is to have fun. You can have the date planned out to the letter, with the most engaging activities laid out and everything. But if you do not loosen up and allow your true self to show, she will never feel the connection well enough to contact you for a second date.
Be the man she’s always wanted by knowing you’re the man she always wanted.