You did it finally. You’ve had sex with her, and it was thrilling, exciting, and all sorts of other unrepeatable things.
You might not realize it, but how you act after sex can tell her a lot. Here are some of the more common things that can happen and the messages that they send.
To Cuddle Or Not To Cuddle
Look, this one depends on personal preference and the situation. Sometimes, cuddling can be kinda awesome. Sometimes, you just don’t want to be touched.
As long as you don’t get weird about it and just be clear about how you feel, both can be acceptable.
The one thing you want to keep in mind, though, is the situation. Was this thing just a casual hookup?
If so, maybe you don’t want to cuddle her like she’s your longtime girlfriend. It could send the wrong message and prolong a relationship that should end here or just flat-out make her uncomfortable.
Perhaps, as always, Louis CK says it best.
What If You Just Want To Sleep?
After sex, sometimes it’s just time to go to sleep. There’s some science behind it, too. I’ll spare you all the details, but when you orgasm, there are a whole bunch of hormones and chemicals firing around your brain that cause you to chill the f*ck out.
So, why fight biology, right?
Here’s the thing: While it’s perfectly fine to take a little snooze, just make sure you aren’t leaving her out in the cold.
For example, let’s say this is the first time you ever had sex with her. She likes you, and you like her.
Afterwards, she wants to talk a little bit, and it could really be the initial building blocks to a relationship.
These moments are pivotal because you’re both a little vulnerable, and how you handle yourselves could determine whether this relationship becomes real or stays a one-time thing.
Fair or not, if you zonk out, it sends the message to her that you don’t care.
So, in cases where the relationship is at a delicate place, give her at least 5-10 minutes of consciousness. Heroically fight the urge to fall asleep and provide some stability.
Then do what you gotta do.
Getting Dressed And Leaving
LOL, here’s the thing about this one: There’s no question what message it sends. It announces that this was casual and that you aren’t looking for a relationship.
Should you do it to the girl you like? Of course not. She will think you don’t really like her.
Should you do it to a girl who likes you? No way. If you know that a girl really likes you, and you just wanted to bang her and move on with your life, well, that’s a dick move. You shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
However, getting up and heading out may be the right call if this sex truly was just casual on both sides. In fact, she might appreciate it; it really sucks to ask someone to leave.
While in most situations, leaving immediately after sex is harsh, leaving after the casual hookup often works best for everyone.
Checking Your Phone
You just crossed sex off your to-do list. Now, what else is going on in the world? Did you get any e-mails?
You could have sworn that you heard that text message ding halfway through the deed. Who’s texting you?
DO NOT DO THIS! Whether it’s a one-night stand, a committed relationship, or anything in between, checking your phone immediately after sex says, “This sex didn’t matter to me in the slightest. F*ck you.”
No matter how compelling that phone is, give it 10 minutes AT LEAST before checking it. I get that the internet is a special place, but you can swear it off for that amount of time.
In the case of a casual hook-up, it’s just common courtesy. In the case of a relationship, it’s how you keep things fresh and loving.