There are a lot of ways you can draw positive attention to yourself in a social setting.
You can dress in eye-catching clothing, introduce yourself to as many people as possible and act as if the club or bar is your own personal hangout, while also letting everyone else in on the fun.
You can and should strive to create a vibe when you’re out gaming that says that you’re fun, carefree and have no attachment to one outcome or another.
Essentially, you must be able to have fun on your own terms without making it seem incongruent or forged.
There’s nothing worse than a guy who’s forcing a good time instead of just having one because he thinks it’s what he’s supposed to do.
A big problem with cold approach pick up is that guys get too hung up on imaginary rules or a series of steps that, while not all bad, may not be the best choice for them.
What works for one guy may not work for another, and may even make him worse off if it doesn’t fit his skill set or personality.
The goal for any guy looking to meet a girl is to travel the shortest distance from point A (meeting) to point Z (sleeping with or dating).
If something you’re doing feels more like a roadblock to your success, it may be time to remove it from your romantic repertoire.
Dancing well seems to be one of those things that guys place a lot of importance on, without it being all that important.
If you’re a good dancer or it’s something that you actually do for a living, by all means, cut a rug next time you’re out at a club or a bar.
But for the average guy who’s just looking to get a phone number or make out with a girl, it really isn’t necessary to have great moves. In some cases, it may even hurt you or become a waste of time.
How does it hurt? Well, look at it this way.
If you head to the dance floor and start taking up space with your moves you may feel like you’re drawing positive attention to yourself, and maybe you are, but it’s still a passive approach to attracting women.
It’s the equivalent of standing by yourself with a sign that says, HEY! Come Talk To Me.
The assumption that girls are attracted to a guy who can dance may be true, but why go through all the extra trouble of learning how to dance well, when you can just as easily pick up girls without it.
Remember, pick-up is about creating less obstacles, less steps and less distance between meeting and seducing a woman.
Dancing, while it may be fun to some people, is just one extra, extraneous activity that creates an extra hurdle in the whole process.
But what do you do if a girl asks you to dance? The answer is obvious: go and dance! It’s a good way to progress the interaction toward the physical side, and if she requests it, it’s a pretty good sign that she’s interested.
What I’m referring to is the passive activity of dancing in the hopes that a girl will notice and come over.
The truth is that a girl may see a guy with good dance moves and be impressed, but impressed and attracted are not the same thing.
You have a much better shot of getting a girl interested by talking to her at the bar, or by leaving the club to get pizza or coffee.
Twirling around the dance floor alone says almost nothing about what kind of guy you are, and she may assume that you actually just came out to dance, and nothing more.
Even if you agree that dancing is unnecessary, there is still the dilemma of finding a venue where there is an option to work your magic elsewhere.
Most bars and clubs have a dance floor of some kind, and a lot of guys will flock there thinking that it will pay off, but you will be exponentially better off in an outdoor patio area, near the bar or in a separate part of the club where people are not dancing.
When you’re making plans, look for a venue that has both a dance floor and a lounge or outdoor area.
Generally, the best approach is to meet a girl in one of these non-dancing areas, get to know her and then follow her to the dance floor if she asks.
Once you’re there with her, don’t assume that she’s judging you on your moves. There’s no need to try and dazzle her; 99 percent of the time, she really doesn’t care if you’ve been fun, charming and attentive throughout the interaction.
Sometimes, it can even work to your benefit to dance poorly on purpose, since it shows that you aren’t taking yourself too seriously.
If you don’t make it to the dance floor, just hang out with her outside, use your conversation skills and if possible, go somewhere else with her.
The thing to remember is that you’re purpose for being out is to meet a girl. Dancing, drinking and finding the perfect club with the best DJ are all secondary to the goal.
In theory, if your goal is to meet a girl, you don’t even have to go to a club where people are dancing if you don’t want to.
It gets chaotic, the music is too loud and while there are lots of attractive girls in clubs, it’s one of the hardest places to attract them.
You’re better off in low-key spots where there is less visual and auditory stimulation.
That way you can focus on each other and you don’t constantly feel the need to choreograph your next dance at home the night before.
It really boils down to your priorities for the night. If you want to go out with your friends, get drunk and party, then by all means, go nuts.
But if your aim is meeting and attracting a girl, stay focused and make it easier on yourself, not harder.