How Learning To Be Alone Will Find The Right Girl For You
Do you know what it feels like to wake up every day, hoping to have someone beside you in bed but knowing no one is there?
The feeling can be difficult to manage, and quite depressing to discuss with people. You may go to bars, clubs, or social events of any kind and take home various people.
Each time, you do this to conceal one very important thing….you suck at being alone.
You fake it with so many people because, well, at least you’re not in this by yourself.
Many men and women alike go through this. They need to have someone in their life that they find attractive, as it makes things easier to get through.
There may not be any sort of love connection or even, at times, physical or mental stimulation when talking to or seeing them.
We ignore this, however, as it allows us to feel like we’re okay. Why is this? Why do we constantly feel like we MUST be with someone to feel happy?
While there are actual psychological conditions for people who feel like this, there is one very common thing. It is called “Relationship Dependency.”
These people are always in a relationship with someone. You remember that hot chick in high school that would almost have a waiting line of guys ready to be her boyfriend?
Once she broke up with one guy or he broke up with her, she would seemingly go to the next in line. This would continue throughout high school.
We expect high school kids to make mistakes and not know how to handle themselves.
They’re learning how to get through life, so any mistake they make is mainly done because they don’t know any better. As adults, we do know better.
Why are we acting like high school kids then? It is because dependency is a terrible, almost drug-like addiction.
You’re so used to something being there, that when it isn’t, you feel empty.
That means you must continue to search for a replacement for it. However, this is like going from smoking cigars to smoking cigarettes.
Maybe you think you can hold back a bit from the addiction, so you are in a vape-like relationship.
This means you are not completely with a person, but you’re still depending on them to give you what you need when you need it.
This type of addictive need for people is not going to make us happy. Man, or woman, the dependency on others, as far as a relationship goes, is a means to an emotional end.
Why are you involved in so many breakups?
Why does a person not stick around? Why are you constantly feeling empty and alone, even when someone might be next to you in the morning?
You needed them, you didn’t want them there. That is quite the distinction when you think about it. What’s the difference?
When you need someone, you are saying that you cannot survive without them around you. You are helpless and willing to go so far just to not be alone.
It is not the person that makes you feel this way, it is the fact that it is a person that is currently with you.
The connection is lost when you’re in this stage. You’re dependent on them now, making them, basically, your cigarette.
The relationship lacks connection because, in the end, you’re just with them so you’re not alone.
Anyone else who comes along who is even a slight bit better would make you consider leaving the person you’re with or cheating.
Oh, but when you want a person around….that is the true case of love being made. It is saying, you don’t have to have them around to be happy.
It is saying that you can live life just fine on your own. It is saying that life moves on with or without that person next to you.
However, you want to make someone part of that. You want to make a person, a very special one to you, part of your life system. If they were to go, you would miss them.
However, you would not need to jump into another relationship immediately. You would cherish what you had and look to find something like it again, but not in a desperate way.
The reason for this is that you have learned to be alone, and be happy in doing so.
This means when you wake up each morning, you’ll look to your side and be perfectly fine with the empty area. Would you want to change that? Of course.
However, you won’t need to do it.
This allows you to find the right person to be with.
This allows you to take your time, searching out the perfect girl for you. You won’t need to constantly jump into a relationship either, or go right to sex.
You’ll take the time to date, and not even consider taking her to bed for weeks or months. You won’t need to because you know that waiting will make all of that even better in the end.
I say to you, learn to be alone. Once you do, you’ll truly know what it is like to be in a very healthy relationship. It will allow all emotions to be true and not forced.
Less break-ups will occur here, as well as less overall problems. When you wake up and see someone next to you then, you’ll feel happy and smile.
This is better than waking up feeling relief someone is there on that day. Do you want to wake up happy or relieved?
Ready to take the next step? Learn how to ask her out the right way with this great article from our friend, Chris Calo at Way Too Social.