The proliferation of external factors — which, at times, are random and inexplicable — that cause hindrances to our lives is unfortunate, to say the least.
Some are genetic, others generational. There are those that are circumstantial, while others self-induced.
Because we as humans prioritize our issues by what’s in front of us at a time, our current predicaments feel the most pressing and it’s why succumbing to the fate of how things are can be irresistible.
If you have a pattern of being bad with women, it’s going to be easy to adapt that narrative.
You’re going to accept that “game” is not for you and you’re going to settle for women that are not near what you deserve.
If your grandfather was overweight, your mom is obese and you’re struggling to keep the pounds off yourself, of course, you’ll be more susceptible to believing “fat” is fate.
Same for drug abuse. One trip down a dark road does not mean you cannot make a u-turn.
Whatever the area may be, however you define success, you have the final say. Not your genetics, not your history and not your current state; but you.
The sooner we realize that, at the end of the day, we’re the only metaphorical fat lady belting concluding notes on the events in our life, we’ll forever be trapped in the abyss of “oh well’s” and “it’s not meant for me’s.”
When we make a choice, accept the task ahead and we’re empowered to take responsibility for our lives, we’ll surprise ourselves at what we overcome.
It’s A Choice
The only reason we haven’t done what’s necessary to get where we want to go or see what we want to see is because we’re not fed up enough.
Our tolerance for what we haven’t accomplished is too high and we simply care more about where we are than where we see ourselves.
I say this because it’s not until we place maximum priority on the action we have to take until we’ve hit rock bottom in terms of staying on the same path, that we’ll begin to change.
We must make a choice to make today the day we switch up our habits, instead of putting it off.
We have to get to a place where we’re excuseless, instead of rationalizing our procrastination. And we have to be tired of the product we’re putting out.
When we make the choice to make a lifestyle change, everything else in our life will follow suit.
We won’t wait till we save enough money for the gym, we’d clean up our diet next meal. We won’t wait till the first to drop the drugs, we’ll do that second.
It starts with a conviction and the conviction starts with you.
It’s Not Easy
Just as important as it is to be intentional about choosing to start the change you so desperately want to see, it’s equally important to embrace the difficulty of the journey and to acknowledge the task it will be going forward.
A lot of times we fail in our attempts at success simply because we’re unrealistic about the toil.
It takes 21 days to form a habit, which is the bottom floor of the amount of time needed to put in to break one.
And essentially that’s what we’re doing here — creating better habits.
Even when it comes to something like a corporate job, it takes an acute self-awareness to accept that it won’t be till after the tenth application sent that you will receive a response and double that amount to get a favorable one.
When we prepare ourselves to endure the closed doors, dead ends and lack of results, we will have the endurance to persevere and eventually see our successes.
It all goes back to the decision we make to ourselves. When we keep sight on our desire, our steps towards it won’t waver.
It’s Up To You
We cannot blame anyone or anything for what we do not accomplish but ourselves.
Accepting this realization puts the responsibility in our hands and ultimately leaves us excuseless when it comes to whether we see our dreams out or not.
Look at Ray Charles or Jackie Robinson or even Steve Jobs.
There are countless examples of people who did not have the cards stacked in their favor, but instead of making excuses for themselves, they followed their heart till the wheels fell off.
The fact of the matter is that we’re the ones that are going to have to be proactive. You, the one with the vision, hopes, and desires, will have to be the one who gets the ball rolling.
You cannot count on your best friend to submit a tape of you overreacting to The Biggest Loser in hopes of a world-renowned personal trainer helping to reshape your life for you.
You can’t wait on a favor from your college friend to design your website for you or to recommend you to a gig. You have to go get it! You have the last say on your success.
Next time you feel like there is a deficiency in your life — from your rapport with women to the condition of your professional life — ask yourself what is it that you’re doing every day to inch closer to improving.
The moment we stop waiting for help or blaming our situation is the moment we regain control over our lives.
No matter what stage you’re in you should never count yourself out.
It’s never too late to begin the process of becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.
It’s in your hands.