I’m sure every guy has been here at least once. We ask ourselves, why is it that we cannot find the right girl?
We think we found the right one and then, boom, it’s over before we knew what even happened.
There are a lot of reasons why. However, there are a lot of popular issues that men face. Now, I’m going to help you think about things, and possibly avoid them.
First up is that we’re ignoring a few things as men. We’re going after girls that make no sense for us.
Sure, a girl may be gorgeous and you want to jump on her like pancakes at IHOP. However, nothing comes from this for many men. You try, but then nothing occurs.
That feeling she gives you fades fast because looks are not the only thing you’re looking for.
Men think they don’t need much more than a girl who can look good. However, we’re far needier than we give ourselves credit for.
Most men want a girl who can cook, clean, take care of them when they’re sick, and talk to them when they need to talk about something major.
Other men want that plus a woman who can help with finances, pop out and take care of babies, and much more. I mean, we’re not some sort of easy thing ourselves.
We have to admit that, yes, we have needs that need to be met. We cannot ignore this and pretend that we do not.
We obviously don’t want to come across like a high maintenance chick.
However, we do need to be up-front and honest with certain things we want from a woman right away. This way, she knows what she is getting into well before.
Sure, a lot of women ask for so much out of a guy that honestly isn’t fair. However, we’re not here for the women but rather the guy. It’s “The Social MAN” after all.
Let’s dive into that though. If you talk with a girl and she goes over a major list of things she wants out of a man, don’t even deal with her.
Why? Because she clearly wants to have “HER” needs taken care of, and does not really care much about yours. Don’t think you’ll somehow change that.
In the end, this is a partnership and that is 50/50, not 20/80 or 10/90. As men, we have a responsibility to take care of and make our lady happy.
However, we’re not going to be her slave or meat puppet.
Jumping into a relationship with a girl whose overly demanding about what she wants will make you want to tear your hair out.
So, a break up occurs and we’re left wondering how it went down. You got tired of the crap, but you should have never dealt with it to begin with.
We will all have to take some crap from our significant other, so you’ll never be able to escape ever having arguments.
We’ll all have them, and that is actually quite healthy. It is when those continue to go on and on, and you feel like your needs are not met and yet you meet all of hers.
This is showing she cares more about herself and you need to avoid that kind of woman.
Sometimes, we expect too much out of our lady too. We want her to drop everything for us when we cannot ask for this.
If she has to work, go to school, has kids, or something major, we have to respect that and be patient.
If we cannot take this, we should not get into a relationship with this girl to begin with!
The biggest pitfall we find ourselves in would be the problem of looks versus needs.
Obviously, a guy wants to be with a good-looking woman he’s proud to brag to his friends about. However, this should not be the only thing.
There are many beautiful women in the world, but only a few we can truly connect with.
This is important. Many men avoid connection and jump right to being physical. This is a terrible plan and is one of the top reasons relationships end fast.
Think of it as you would think of college. Seriously. I know you’re probably confused, so follow me here.
When you go to school, you need to take some 100 level courses first. This allows you to build up to taking 400 and 500 level classes later.
If you randomly jump to a 500-level class on your first day in college out of high school, you’re going to run the risk of failing.
It is not that you cannot pass this class later, you’re just not ready for it now.
Now act as if you’re not only taking that class for yourself, but someone else is taking something they’re not ready for either.
Then your grades both depend on how the other does. Expecting either one of you to pass is asking way too much.
Instead, we need to start slow. We need to be attracted to the girl, but we also need to talk and make sure this is the FIRST thing we can do well.
Take her to get something to eat on the first date, or maybe a park. Anywhere you can go and talk. Don’t go home with her, and don’t try to get her to put out.
Talk with her and see how you feel. If you don’t feel even more attracted to her than you did before, then there is a good chance she is not going to work out later.
Many men also like to take on a project like so many women out there. She is a bad girl, and that is attractive. So, you instantly go to it and think you can change her.
Maybe she’s kind of crazy and that gets to you, yet you forget crazy has consequences. No, do not take on a project and do not take on a girl you think you can change.
This is different than finding a girl who does not like sports or superhero movies and hoping you can convert her into a fan. This is not that big of a deal.
However, don’t assume you can change a girl up from who she is just because YOU are the one there doing it. This may work for some, but the statistics are massively against it.
Finally, how do we truly know we’re with the right one?
If you wake up every morning, and you smile knowing who you’re with. You cannot wait to talk to her, whether it’s by phone, text, or in person.
Perhaps, you find yourself doing things for her more than any other girl.
Maybe you make your hair look different, use that special cologne you’ve been needing to bring out for years.
If you catch yourself caring far more, then you developed a real connection here.
It is that feeling of special. If you see this woman as just another girl that you’re dating, then that simply is not enough. You deserve more than that.
Don’t date just to date. Don’t date because you’re bored. For God’s sake, don’t just go to bars or clubs to pick a girl up and have sex.
This is a means to a miserable end every time. Not to mention, the diseases possible.
Wait, use patience, and make sure you scout this out like Nick Saban does his next 5-star recruit. In the end, this is far better than just jumping from girl to girl and hoping it works out.
If you have to hope it works out and you don’t find yourself knowing it will. If you cannot see yourself marrying this woman one day.
If you don’t know that she is ultimately who was made for you, then bro, she isn’t the one. Don’t get into a relationship with her.
These are easy steps to solving some of our biggest issues when looking for the right girl. Dating random girls just to date just isn’t working.
Looking in the same place over and over also doesn’t cut it.
Albert Einstein defined insanity by claiming it is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.
Let’s not define insanity with our relationships.
We cannot all date Harley Quinn.