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What My Girlfriend And I Learned During Our Visit To The Adult Toy Store

What My Girlfriend And I Learned During Our Visit To The Adult Toy Store

BY Claude J Easy

What My Girlfriend And I Learned During Our Visit To The Adult Toy Store

A couple of months ago my girlfriend and I decided to take a trip to a local adult toy store. Neither of us had ever been to one these places before and we really didn’t know what to expect.

On our way there we discussed our intimacy and what new things we were willing to try – anal, vibrators, and handcuffs. When we finally got there it hit us, we were switching to the freaky side.

As we parked and looked at the bright purple neon sign bearing the words in all caps ADULT TOY STORE, so many ideas came across our minds and we were hesitant to get out of the car.

We were both nervous to go in. We started thinking about the different questions we would ask or the questions we were going to be asked. Of course the tree that we blazed up beforehand didn’t help with the paranoia.

The idea of just turning around and going back home crossed our minds – of course it was my idea – but we built up the confidence to just go inside. The walk was kind of brutal and I felt like she was calmer than I was.

You would think that would make me relaxed, right? No, it scared the shit out of me. Walking there I started to question everything like, ‘How freaky is this girl?’ ‘What did I get myself into?’ ‘What kind of freak did I decide to date?’

I know I’m old school but at least I was down to try this new found freakiness. We finally get to the door and all I could think of is what if I see one of my old teachers or a family friend in here or something, like how embarrassing would that be and all of the explaining I would have to do.

It turned out to be quite the experience. Here are a couple of pointers on how to handle going to a sex store with your partner.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions

Ok, so we’re finally in the store and as the door opened the loudest bell went off to notify the employees that they’ve just received some new customers. DING DONG.

Now I’m feeling crazy, more than before because I just wanted it to be a subtle entrance – you know very discreet. Total opposite. Soon enough the great employees of the Romantic Depot came running our way.

I felt like a matador ready to chase off these hounding bulls trying to sell us dildos. I select my stance and as I am about to say, “We don’t need any help,” she offers to show us around.

She knew we were new at this. But, how did she know? Was it the stance I selected? The scared and clueless look on our faces? Or the fact that we paused right after we walked in the door?

Probably the last one. She made us feel comfortable. She showed us the stores wide selection of dildos, lubricants, penis rings, vibrators, whips, costumes, silicone vaginas, and anal plugs. Soon enough she opened the floor for questions, of which we had many after learning so much about sex toys.

Of course I asked about the pocket vaginas and my girlfriend had more feminine health-related questions.

They really helped us narrow it down to what we really needed. They showed us which products were proven to show the best orgasmic results and healthiest options.

Don’t worry about the dildos

Obviously there were some huge freaking dildos in there and you know it made me feel insecure as hell.

I mean some of these things were huge like horse size. How did I deal with this? I didn’t, because it doesn’t matter. A dildo can’t hold her after she’s done using it or even show love. It’s an inanimate object with no soul. So let her go for the monster size.

To each his own. To be honest I kind of nonchalantly pushed her towards the regular sizes. You know a dildo that I could really relate with.

Don’t be afraid to try new things

This tip goes far beyond the bedroom. Being in the Romantic Depot really helped me understand what the above statement really means. I felt like I was being tested in that place. Like my girlfriend was really seeing if I was truly willing to experience new things.

Experiencing firsts with your partner is important. These experiences are the ones neither of you will ever forget. You’ll carry them in your memory banks for the rest of your lives. It adds some spark to the relationship as well and keeps things interesting.

It’s all about stages

My girlfriend and I didn’t really go off on intimate toys that day. We mostly went to go check out what sex stores were really about. But, we did end up buying a couple of things.

We bought a big bottle of lube that has a warming sensation, a set of handcuffs and they threw in a butt plug for free. We didn’t want to go too wild the first time we went there. We bought some stuff to test out and if we liked it we would come back for more.

We liked it, sorry, loved it.

All I’m saying is to test things out before you buy the big kahuna and work your way up to the freakiest of freaky. I know the next time I go back I’m definitely going for the pocket pussy. Would help with the long distance.

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Claude J Easy

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Just trying to be a cross between Donald Draper, Nas, and Tony Soprano. I'm a jack of all trades and king of everything. Follow me on Instagram @red_hippie

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