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Here’s How To Turn A Flaky Girl Into Your Next Girlfriend

Here’s How To Turn A Flaky Girl Into Your Next Girlfriend

BY Christopher Gramuglia

Here’s How To Turn A Flaky Girl Into Your Next Girlfriend

When a girl flakes, the tendency for a lot of guys is to assume it’s because she isn’t interested or doesn’t actually want to hang out in the first place.

She’s too nice to come right out and say it, so she just keeps canceling and canceling, hoping that the guy will get the hint.

Sounds like a familiar story right? Every guy has been in a situation where a girl cancels last minute and then makes it practically impossible to reschedule.

Usually, the guy calls, texts or tries to communicate with her in some way to figure what happened.

On the surface, everything seemed cool; you got along, had a lot in common, and even made plans the night you met.

So what’s the deal with girls who flake, and how can you turn things around so that they not only stop canceling but go out of their way to lock down plans with you.

The first thing to understand is that flaky girls cancel plans for hundreds of different reasons, and a lot of the time it has nothing to do with whether or not they like you.

In some weird cases, girls cancel dates because they like you too much and the idea of getting close to someone so quickly scares the crap out of them.

Rather than deal with the fear, they come up with an excuse as to why they can’t make it and disappear into the shadows.

They may flake because some other guy came into their life who might have done a better job romancing her. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it happens all the time.

She’ll never tell you because it’s just too mean to tell a person that they’ve been replaced, but she will still go out with the other guy.

It’s not that she doesn’t like you; it’s that she likes this dude better.

Another reason girl’s flake is because they’re people like anyone else and have varying emotions.

It’s perfectly normal for a girl to feel a certain way when she meets you, and then feel something totally different when it comes time to actually meet up.

It’s not fair to label women as having more volatile emotions, but they can at times change their minds about things, without necessarily being able to articulate to you or to themselves why.

They’re emotional people and base their romantic decisions on feelings, which can sometimes foil your plans for seeing her.

Does it mean that it’s impossible to get a girl to commit? No. Not at all. There’s just a very specific way of going about doing it.

The short version is that you have to stay on her mind, without appearing needy. Too many guys either text her too much before the actual date or not enough.

Being in touch on a day-to-day basis is a good thing because it keeps you on her mind. The key is to just not be annoying or needy about it.

If the texts you send her don’t feel like a balanced conversation, you’re doing too much and will probably make her think twice about seeing you again.

The key is to keep her thinking about you by being funny, charming and not over-the-top with your communication.

On the other end of the spectrum are guys that make plans, and don’t say one word to the girl for an entire week leading up to it, under the guise that it makes them seem independent and non-needy.

There is some truth to this.

Staying silent can occasionally have its advantages and cause her to wonder what you’re thinking, but in the early stages of a relationship, you want to be around as often as possible without overdoing it.

Not texting her at all for seven days, and then expecting her to still want to go out with you is a bold move.

Remember, she’s a person and people forget stuff. The other advantage to communicating before the date is that it helps build comfort between the two of you.

Girls get approached a lot—every guy knows that—and at any time a guy could come over and be more charming, funny or attractive, but if you’re on her mind already because the two of you have been talking each day, she’ll be less receptive to another guy’s advances because she’ll have already started forming a bond with you.

When it comes time to meet up, there won’t be any question about whether she’s showing up or not because you’ve already become a small part of her life just by chatting.

In a way, you have to lead to invest her time in you as best as you can, and show her that spending Friday or Saturday night with you is the right move.

The other thing to consider is the plans themselves. Don’t come up with some noncommittal idea for your hang out. Give her a specific time, place and activity that you have planned.

Offer to pick her up if you have a car. The more specific the plans the better it is, because it shows that you care and that you’ve done this sort of thing before.

Too many guys throw ideas around like “Netflix and Chill,” which is a lazy idea that shows you don’t really care that much about the hangout or the date.

Plan something good that takes a little effort, and she’ll care just as much as you do.

It’s not easy to turn a flaky girl around, but it is possible. You just have to use the in-between time wisely and have a plan.

It’s totally possible to get a girl romantically interested and invested in you before you even meet for a date just by talking on the phone or texting.

Your goal, essentially, should be to get her to be comfortable before the date even starts without appearing needy or socially awkward.

One or two funny texts here and there are more than enough to accomplish that goal. They may even evolve into a full-blown conversation.

Not only will she show up, eager to get to know you better, but it’ll feel like you two are already dating. When the date comes, you can kick back, relax and just show her a good time.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a writer, photographer and holds a master's degree in creative writing. He is working on a novel about dating in the digital age, and is an expert on topics like social dynamics and how to navigate the modern dating scene.

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