Brains Before Beauty: Why Her Personality Matters More Than Her Looks
An attractive girl is always going to get more attention from men than one who isn’t as attractive.
This is a fact, and probably won’t ever change. A girl’s looks are a huge factor in whether or not a guy musters up the courage to go and talk to her.
As men, our bodies and our brains are wired to notice things like a woman’s body shape, her complexion and other physical characteristics like her eyes, lips and even her teeth.
There’s a reason we look at these things, and it’s not to be misogynistic pigs that objectify women.
It’s our instincts helping us determine whether or not she’d make a good mate, or if she’d produce healthy offspring.
Our cave-dwelling, pelt-wearing ancestors may not have known what an iPhone was, but they were at least smart enough to know that their offspring carried half of their partner’s genes.
Examining the physical characteristics of a woman was essentially a way of determining whether or not she could produce healthy children, and subsequently raise them.
We live in a pretty different world nowadays, and we date for all different kinds of reasons. Most of the time, single people aren’t dating to produce kids.
Some people go on dates just to not be alone, and others do it because of something less superficial, like the need for a girlfriend.
People, in general, are more articulate, multi-layered and emotional than our ancestors were.
We have jobs, hobbies, and tons of other things that put having a kid pretty low on the list of our priorities.
The fact that people are more complicated nowadays, gives us as guys a much bigger list of things to consider when talking to a girl than just the way her ass looks in her dress.
Still, the physical component is never going to go away. Not noticing a girl’s body or her good looks is like trying to tell yourself not to feel hungry, or not to breathe when you need air.
It’s physiological, and there ain’t nothing you can do about shutting it off (then again, why would you want to?).
However, just because a girl is a ten, or has a lower back tattoo that makes you drool all over yourself like the caveman you are, doesn’t mean she’d make a good girlfriend.
You have to delve deeper into things like her personality to really make the jump from just wanting to jump her bones to actually dating her.
Every bro on the planet might have just dropped his lacrosse stick and can of PBR, but real guys who know what being in a relationship actually entails, understand the importance of figuring out who a girl really is.
They put a lot of time and thought into trying to understand what makes her tick before taking the next step.
It comes from the ability to think rationally and consider what spending months or even years with this person might be like.
Guys that aren’t desperate to get laid, or aren’t easily swayed by a girl’s looks are better about being realistic about whether or not it would be fun or even rewarding to spend time with her outside of just having sex.
Sure, when you first meet her, all you’re thinking about is getting her back to your place and making it happen, but then what?
Did she make you laugh at all tonight? Did she get any of your jokes?
Do you have anything in common with her at all other than the fact that the two of you were both horny and out at the same bar at the same time?
And of course, the dreaded: would she get along with your mother?!
These are all real questions a guy should be asking himself after the first night.
A lot of the time what starts to happen is that a girl’s attractiveness clouds a man’s judgment and we put up with a date, a series of dates, or even a relationship that isn’t the right fit for us.
The truth is, no matter how attractive a girl is, if she’s a shitty person that you don’t mesh with, things are not going to work out.
Good sex with a hot girl just isn’t enough to carry a relationship. Not by a long shot, and as much as it hurts, sometimes you have to forgo approaching the ten to search for something more real.
This is why it pays to talk to as many girls as you can without necessarily putting all your focus into the nines and tens.
You’ll find it becomes way more rewarding to talk to a girl who might not be a knockout but allows you to be yourself with minimal game involved.
In other words, if you don’t have to think about what you’re saying or what you’re doing around her and she’s still into you, maybe her looks aren’t that important.
No one’s saying you have to walk up to a girl wearing ripped sweatpants with a snaggletooth who’s chugging beers, but next time you go out keep your eyes open for someone you can actually connect with.
Having some level of physical attraction is important because sex is an integral part of being in a relationship, but it shouldn’t be the deciding factor in whether or not you want to make things, like, totally Facebook official.
To be fair, it all depends on what your goal is. For a guy who’s just looking for a one-night stand, personality isn’t all that important.
After all, you probably won’t ever see each other again, so as long as the sex is good you both win.
But that kind of lifestyle does get old, and when it comes time to start shifting your focus to girls that seem like they’d make good girlfriends, other things start to matter.
Have your fun, but remember what really matters.
If you do happen to snag a ten who also somehow gets you as a person, then you’ve hit the jackpot, so don’t screw it up.