Relationships are attractive.
It’s something that’s been popularized in the media, Hollywood and even has a day in February to commemorate its significance.
When you see a sweet couple in love — when the guy gets the girl at the end of the movie — what you feel is that there is something there that will enhance your life.
The glee is evident, the companionship sounds nice and hell, who wouldn’t want someone to come home to every night?
While we’re not disillusioned at the improbability of long-lasting unions, the appeal remains, and it’s something that we will forever try to pursue.
But impulses and desires are not nearly enough of a license for pursuit.
There are preliminaries we must voluntarily undergo to see if a relationship is right for us at that specific time.
Firstly, you must understand the magnitude of a relationship — what it is and what it means for you.
Then you have to do some real soul searching: Are you ready for the sacrifices, the energy, and effort. Once you’ve done all of that, the last thing you should do is make room in your life for them.
Get rid of the habits, lingering situations, and friends who won’t be conducive to your relationship.
What A Relationship Is
Yes, relationships are cute. You get to face every adversity and tackle every one of life’s puzzles with a partner.
But in turn, that comes with certain compromises to the current life as you know it.
It’s easy to get so enthused about the idea of a relationship that we don’t take into account the shift our actual lives go through.
From sleeping arrangements to the continually shrinking amount of time you have to hang with other people, there is a culture shock looming that we never see.
Complaints of too close a proximity or clinginess is almost laughable because, how else does a relationship develop?
Two people deciding to team together requires fusion on many levels.
Not just physically or whenever you go out to eat, but in all aspects of life. And it’s okay not to want that.
It’s important to separate the person you enjoy having fun with from the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, which is what’s assumed when you enter a relationship.
The dates, laughs, meeting of family etc can all guise under the term of dating still, but deciding to make things serious is saying she is the type of person you can see yourself with for a long time.
Sometimes it’s you that will get this concept and not her, and that may mean you have to let someone go because you respect that you don’t want to be someone you’re not or lie about where your heart is.
What Fits Your life
Our hearts may be ready for a relationship, but that does not always mean our lives are.
Long distance, a demanding workload, school — there are countless oppositions to a relationship that is out of our control.
But it is our responsibility to evaluate our lives in a way to make the responsible decision.
Again, the picture of having a girlfriend looks great on paper, but we may be in the midst of very legitimate proponents of its survival.
Why try and force a relationship when you know you don’t even have time to commit to owning a dog? Furthermore, we have to honestly assess our motivations.
What’s more of a priority to you, her or that partner position? You can really want something with her, but will you resent the time it takes away from studying for that CPA exam?
There are so many functional alternatives to having an actual full blown relationship, but being honest about how much you can commit to is a responsibility you owe to both her and yourself.
Find out what you can fit in your life at the current moment and make a decision that is true to what you find.
When you can look in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re ready to put your all into making a joint effort work, you will have the most successful relationship.
The Necessary Adjustments
To be in a relationship, you must make your life habitable for a relationship. That means getting rid of all the skeletons, influences and habits that we have as single men.
Either it’s something we just don’t think to do or something we’re reluctant about, but it’s rare to see a guy intentionally make significant changes to his life before or when he enters a relationship.
That does not mean dumping friends or severing ties will long college pals, but it does mean telling them they can’t send women your way and letting them know that you can’t make it out on their prowling nights.
It also means that with certain women who you were platonic but flirty with, you can no longer be that way with them.
What happens when we don’t tend to these different hedges is they make themselves at home and begin to grow their way into our relationships.
You don’t want to put yourself in a compromising position and you also don’t want to make your girlfriend worry or jealous.
Switching up how you do things is not succumbing to her every wish and it’s not being whipped. It’s respecting the relationship and showing the value you place on it.
If you’re not ready to make these necessary adjustments like giving up the nightlife with your single friends or skipping out on locker-room talk in your group messages, then maybe you’re not ready to get in a committed relationship.
It all depends on what you feel is respectable to your potential woman.
If we take any of these ideas to mind before calling someone your partner, the longevity of the bond will increase.