I think it’s safe to say that casual dating is more on the scandalous side of what’s generally accepted in the world of dating.
Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble have made hook-ups virtually effortless, but the topic of just winging it and not being tied down to one lover hasn’t quite surpassed the nose-in-the-air disdain it occasionally receives when compared to the idea of mutual exclusivity.
A large reason this negative connotation hovers over the idea of casual dating is because the margin for error is significantly smaller.
When dating casually you have to be extra sensitive to the emotions of the women you’re involved with in order to prevent attachment on both sides, it’s imperative that you’re clear about your intentions so you won’t lead them on, and, because the option of having multiple partners is available, a special attention to sexual responsibility is a must.
No one is knocking the liberation of not committing or it’s practicality for that matter. It’s just that when doing so, with the following concepts in mind, the field will be a lot less complicated.
Women Are Different
Because men and women are wired differently, we process affection differently. As this is the case, an awareness of said truth is a responsibility that is key to conducting any casual encounter.
You can be as clear as a whistle, as cautionary as all, get out, and still steal someone’s heart. That’s why we must be weary of pet names, saying “I love you” and even cuddling if it has the potential of causing unwanted dependancy.
It’s natural to want to romance the women we’re with, showering them with gifts and letting our soft side show — it feels good to be that way when you’ve been rough-housing it with your boys — but it’s in these times that we must be cautious of the lines we’re crossing. We cannot control the matters of the heart, and if we can sense one falling in our direction it’s best we keep it held up.
Historically men have been able to separate sex and emotions, so when a woman decides that she is okay not having a title it’s important not too get too excited and remember that she has a lot more at stake
Transparency Is Key
Transparency is another crucial component to being a free agent in the game.
You must be straight forward if you’re planning on never meeting her in-laws or entertaining her annoying girlfriends because if you let her feelings get too deep there will be no back-peddling or explanation that will save you from her, or anyone else’s, wrath.
Causal dating is a land of no titles which can easily transform into the wild, wild West.
Terms like “talking” and “friends with benefits” have different meanings in different states in different circles on different sides of towns. So if you want the relationship feel without the relationship, let her know that. If you want strictly sex and nothing even remotely close to emotions, make sure that’s communicated.
Maybe you two are only going to be physically involved with each other, maybe you guys have a rule of letting each other know who you sleep with — it’s all possible through clear and effective communication.
There is a way to navigate the waters of causal dating without being a scumbag and tool. In fact, it’s a very complex and mature relationship that takes a lot of emotional maturity. But it will never work if you do not make her aware fully aware of your intentions.
A heightened sexual responsibility must be tapped into if you’re deciding to date casually — if you plan on being with one woman or not.
Maturity when you’re with multiple women means hooking up responsibly and not manipulating or toying with emotions that have fallen in your hands.
For obvious reasons having a healthy sexual life with your partner(s) is something that you must be careful with. The second to last thing you want is having an unexpected child with a woman you do not love and the last thing you want is an STD.
When you’re a man with the leverage of having the attention of a woman you do not have to commit to, there is a certain power you become responsible for.
Being respectful enough that the women in your life do not overlap. or even being respectful enough not to take advantage of her emotions is something that many men forget to be mindful of upon entering a casual relationship.
A lot of guys take “casual” as a green light to stomp all over feelings and to discard and pick-up women in ways they wouldn’t if they were in a relationship. But the same respect that you would treat your girlfriend, your mom, or any woman that you come across, honestly, should be the respect you handle every woman you’re involved with. Strings or not.
With a life on the go, it’s hard to promise a girl too much. The casual dating lifestyle has become more of a life of practicality than lust.
However, it can go seriously awry if she falls for you, if she is confused about what you two are, or if you’re out there having a field day in the land of polygamy.
Casual dating can but fun with the right mindset. And you never know, you find the right causal partner for a lifetime.