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Female Psychology: Understanding Why Women Are So Damn Difficult

Female Psychology: Understanding Why Women Are So Damn Difficult

BY Christian Hudson

Female Psychology: Understanding Why Women Are So Damn Difficult

Let’s face it – the sexes balance each other out. For example: men make money, and women make babies.

*ducks as bullets come flying*


Ok, now that the jokes are aside, we can get to the heart of the matter…

The fact is, there’s a biological imperative to balance estrogen and testosterone… or as Osho might say, the masculine and feminine polarity.

However you slice it, gender balance matters.  When birth ratios exceed the historically average 1.6 males per 1 female, shit gets whack.  Violent crime increases, rape and prostitution abounds, and wars are started.

China and India – the former with it’s one-child policy, and the latter with its dowries – have already felt the pinch of under-feminization.

Crime rates have doubled in China in the last twenty years and female suicide rates are the highest in the world – quite possibly a consequence of how many baby girls are aborted.

Heavy stuff.  Keep it in mind the next time your woman is giving you a hard time.


Let’s face it – it’s neither pleasant nor very dignifying when your woman is giving you shit.  Yet it’s in this little corner of female psychology that us men can find the best of ourselves.

There are a lot of ways to describe it – getting shit, getting bitched at, getting a hard time… but around these parts we’ve got a catch-all phrase to describe this behavior: a test.

I picked up this term from David Deida, and if you’ve seen our premium training course, Unbreakable, you know that we see it as a fundamental part of male:female relationships.

Simply stated, your woman is going to test you.  It’s part of her relationship role and embedded within her female psychology.

female psychology

If you’re the strong guy that I want you to be, then you’re going to know how to pass the test with flying colors.  And if you’re the good guy I hope you to be, then you’ll make lemonade of lemons, and use these tests to make your relationship better.

So, other than “when a girl bitches at me,” what constitutes a test, and how do we handle them?

Female Psychology: Tests of Insecurity

This unfortunate quirk of female psychology arises out a woman’s own insecurities.  They come in the form of “tell me you love me,” “do you think she’s prettier than me?” and “who were you out flirting with tonight?

In some cases, they’re entirely reasonable.  As I’ve learned firsthand, attending a bachelor party, in Rio, during Carnival, is enough to rattle even the most confident of girlfriends.  A little reassurance and some FaceTime’ing is totally reasonable.


But, if you’re dating a girl whose insecurities begin to impose on your own happiness, well-being, and relationships with others, appeasement will gain you temporary reprieve, and not much more.

That’s because Tests of Insecurity are all about sucking you in – her insecurities create a negative emotional vortex, of sorts, that can only be filled by you.  Or the next man who’ll tell her what she wants to hear.


And that’s the most damaging thing about insecurities, and specifically, about failing this test.  A woman with low self-esteem will always be looking for the next thing to make her feel better about herself.  Maybe a gift, maybe a trip, maybe the attention of another man.

You know when you’re being given one of these tests, because you feel an unmistakable combination of pity and frustration towards her You feel like she’s sucking you in.  And the only way to pass this test is to gently but unfailingly refuse to let it consume you.

You have to set your boundaries.  If you really love her, the line is a big fat one, and you let her cross it a few times.  Maybe you take the long view, and “work on it” with her – depends on how much drama you like in your life.

But make no mistake:  the only way that your girl is going to stop giving you tests of insecurity is through her own growth.

Female Psychology: Tests of Strength

On the flip side, you have tests of strength:  “Come back with your shield, or on it,” spoke Queen Gorgo in the man-epic 300.

I sometimes think of these as Mom Tests.  You want to be lazy, step down, or run and hide.  Mom’s not having any of it.  “Don’t take that from bullies… you go back to school and punch him back!

A C+ on your test?  That’s it – you’re grounded this weekend, and you’re studying twice as hard next time.”  “Putting the toys under your bed doesn’t count as cleaning up – I want them where they belong.


They were bad enough when you were a kid, but they’re downright emasculating when you’re getting them from your girlfriend.  You want to tell her to shut up, that it’s none of her business.  You get mad at her for your own retreat and weakness.

And that’s how you know it’s a Test of Strength – it feels like a push… usually “out there” into the world.  Towards something, or against someone.  She’s trying to light a fire under your ass and give you the oomph you didn’t have on your own.

Why? Because she loves you.  And the man who she fell in love with isn’t lazy.  He doesn’t come home from work with his head hung low.  He doesn’t put up with shit from others.

But somehow, he’s failing.  It could be mere forgetfulness, or it could be outright defeat.  He’s lost his fire… his drive… his “primary value,” as we call it on in our premium training course, Unbreakable.


There are two ways to pass these tests.  The first is to accept and reflect upon your woman’s words, seeing in yourself the man who she expects you to be.

It seems emasculating at first… “to hell with this, I make my own choices, I don’t need her telling me what to be.”  But if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit that that’s just your ego getting defensive.

It’s happy in its state of safety and inertia, and it doesn’t want to get out there on the edge.

So while you may think that fighting with her is “winning,” it’s not.

It’s wearing her down, and if you have enough of those fights, she may just realize one day that you’re not, in fact, the man who she imagined you to be.  That’s when you realize just how much you’ve lost.

But maybe it doesn’t get to that point.  In fact, maybe you pass these tests… just by being you.  Because you push yourself daily… because you’re already at your edge… because you’ve got fire and you breath it.

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Christian Hudson


CEO of The Hero Company, and publisher of The Social Man. Loves to surf, snowboard, climb mountains, and photograph the world. Connect with Christian on facebook, instagram, and his personal website.

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  • Bfh24788

    “…us guys need women around”…because “They rein in our more violent impulses, encourage good grooming and
    hygiene, and expose us to movies we’d never watch otherwise, like The
    Notebook.”  That’s a pretty self-deprecating belief if you’re a guy.  I don’t need a woman to turn me from a low brow, neanderthal into a civilized man who now has an appreciation for chick flicks, which apparently were good for me all along, because I’m a man and therefore am too stupid to recognize such things…right?  No…I need a woman to augment my life not give me one, and to provide great feminine qualities which are synergistic to my great masculine qualities. 

    • Paul Thunder

      Wow, check out the hate 😉 

      Nice article. I particularly like “But make no mistake:  the only way that your girl is going to stop giving you tests of insecurity is through her own growth.”   – Truer words have never been spoken.  

      • Bfh24788

        Sorry you feel disagreement or the recognition of self-depreciating male attitudes are “hate.”  Extreme adjectives as such are usually thrown out cavalierly by those who do not have a substantive counter argument and only want to diminish other point of views by attaching such negative, extremes to it. 🙂   

      • JCH

        Ahhh the Interwebs.  I don’t think anyone was hating, but I also suspect you were being sarcastic.  Word choice = important 😉

        • Cheryl Wilson

          Oh there’s plenty of hate here, just not in the article itself. However, Paul is right, and you guys are missing the importance of that line. Your girl is giving you insecurity tests because of HER insecurity. How you handle it will determine whether she grows or you break.

          • Or walk away, which is what I do. It is one thing to be insecure and reach for help; it is totally another to understand that you are causing drama and want someone to solve the drama you just caused so you can feel better about yourself. I divorced my wife because all she did was cause problems. I tried to discuss them but she couldn’t do that. I left and she has tried to get me back….who wants to deal with that bull…..the next guy can have her and you if that’s your approach to life….grow up!

          • Cheryl Wilson

            Good for you Ted. If you’ve gotten involved with someone who can’t ever get over their shit, the only thing you can do is leave. It does happen, and that’s the terrible realization in any relationship, when you have to acknowledge that you made a mistake in judgement, the person you love isn’t who you thought they were.

            But sometimes it can be fixed. It’s good that you tried. But we as a species are seemingly quite prone to overestimating others’ worth. We call it “love”, but most of the time it’s just idealism, wishful thinking, and fantasy.

          • Al Pha Satori

            Most people love pretending instead of facing reality and calling out what’s true.

          • ABCXYZ

            The only thing that will fix this familial chaos destroying the west and now the eastern cultures as they become like western feminists + high tech, is to start all over again from scratch when natural laws ruled…what created these laws which the WW2 generation called God, Boomers started completely ripping apart causing the next 3 generations such grief. The basic needs of life that are Love, Family, Food/water, Shelter, Clothing, westerners find a complete bore because technologies control us…I left out Father, Son, Holy Ghost due to such disdain the relatively well off westerners feel towards God the Dog.

          • ABCXYZ

            Narcissism today IS out of control, and will only get worse with so many not having even 1 child; and when they do, off it goes to a Day Care centre ~ 1 to 2 years old, with no say, while Careers reign supreme. If I hear “my Career” ever again, I will shut down the conversation with that person and walk.

          • Guest

            I don’t need a daughter, I want a woman with her spine. I’m not her babysitter, nor her therapist.

          • The Dude

            She needs to stand on her own two feet. But to really know if she’s worth it you gotta wreck her completely.

          • Guy

            Oh and btw, its perfectly fine for her to shit test you, but try testing her

          • Guest

            I don’t need a daughter, I want a woman with a spine of her own. I’m not her babysitter, nor her therapist. Make up with daddy and go see a shrink, then we’ll talk, maybe.

          • Al Pha Satori

            I don’t need a daughter, I want a woman with a spine of her own. I’m not a babysitter, nor a therapist. Make up with daddy and go see a shrink, then we’ll talk…maybe.

          • Burt Callahan

            Didn’t misz it. Daily spankings and completely ignoring her “funny”games when they rarely surface, keeps my wife obedient and withiut these shit tests that women find so important for life(???). You, on thd other hand, are missing the point in the postings you call hate.

          • Toe

            So men have control over female development. Cheryl I think you would like to rephrase your statement cause if that is the case, then all women are children.

          • Guy

            Well, from an evolutionary perspective there would be know selective factor for them to be more than that, if anything that is what they would be selected for, seeing as they would need to relate to children or individuals that cant communicate, hence the ability to cold read wants or at least the urge to expect a man to guess them

          • ABCXYZ

            Plenty of hate? How would YOU like to have a child then experience the risks that most men have to endure of having the so called Mom divorce you and then, see YOUR CHILD TOO far less? You western women due to technologies freeing you from absolutely needing a man, which men invented/ created, are the most selfish ppl on earth ever.

          • Brandon

            No, it determines whether whether I cut her out of my life and she can be some other fools problem.

          • TurtleNeckJoe

            Then let women stay insecure. More and more of us don’t give a s anymore.

      • TheGodilas .

        There is no growth in women. They ‘ll always seek any kind of validation. Insecurity is part of their nature.

        • The Dude

          Eh – I am not so sure about such things. Barring mental illness, if you’re a great catch and you roll around with them naked but won’t sleep with them two or three times that lets them know you’re just not going to get sucked in – if they want that fat member inside them, they gotta clean up their act or debase themselves further. When they prove they’re willing to debase themselves, you come back into the picture and make them your mistress, not your wife.

          • Bongstar420

            Thats right…spend lots of time on them so they know you will be there for them…because that isn’t a shit test in its self.


      • Sherri

        …and through watching her man grow, too. It feels fantastic to know, as a woman, that I am giving every healthy thing I can to my relationship; it feels x100 more fantastic to see my man matching my growth, inch by inch. Healthy love is not easy by any means, but damn it feels good 😉

        • ABCXYZ

          If we just follow natural laws as all other creatures do on earth, we would not have these mental/emotional problems.

        • TurtleNeckJoe

          And there were go. No, why should it be easy. Let’s create some problems, honey! No doubt a woman wrote the post in the name of ‘Sherri’.

      • The Dude

        That’s why you gotta rag on them hard in the beginning.

      • Bongstar420

        I don’t know about that…I bet if you fed her enough testosterone, that would also do it.

    • JCH


      And maybe I need to watch the sarcasm in my writing, because that whole line was meant to play off the common stereotype.  Seemed clear as a bell when I was writing it, but glad to get your thoughts on it because I assume that most readers of this blog are sharp, with-it guys who either have their shit together, or are actively working on it.

    • Kirk

      That was perfect.

    • Don Dressel

      Yes you are 100% correct! I have been married 3 times! My first wife ran out on me for another man and left me with all the bills and house payment! My 2nd wife treated me like shit always calling me stupid and keeping me from my family and friends. When she got cancer I stood by her side and took care of her until she died. My 3rd wife has been treating me like shit! I sold my one house I had bought myself so she could have her dream home and now she is fucking with my head! Yes being a loyal and faithful man is stupid! Women are very evil now days! GOD FORGIVE THEM!

      • Venom Froggy

        May God forgive you for not learning from your mistakes and learning to recognize the red flags. Three abusers in a row. You gonna go for number four after this one?

        • Hmm

          It takes two to tango, so I think it’s presumptuous to automatically blame men for everything, it’s like forcing men to be doormats while also holding them responsible for everything that goes wrong. What about the man’s mother who placed issues into his head that he should be forced to accept whatever he gets from women because she never respected him? This is just a hypothetical example, there may be many more that could apply. Everyone has a perspective and it generally seems that women’s perspectives are cherished with pity while men’s are dismissed with contempt, which further compounds the issue with frustration and rejection for men. If men disagree with women, it’s called misogyny, but not vice versa. Productive discussions can never take place with men always being on the defensive due to the massive volley of misandry that follows. Society generally doesn’t hold women accountable so they never take responsibility for their side of relationships. If people aren’t allowed to express themselves they cannot grow, they remain locked in their mental prison for life, and others who could benefit from their perspectives cannot learn from them.

          • axander

            Totally right. Society holds women as eternal victims and men as totally responsible. This puts down women and keeps men away from their inner emotions. Bad women abuse this fully knowing they can get away with it. Did you know that in our legal system, male dominated, women are punished far less for the same crime than men? In Finland, where judges are fifty fifty male female, woman get convicted more often (by female judges) then here. No greater man haters than men! Men and women should stop seeing women as poor little victims. They are not, they are powerful adults or can be. And men should admit to their feelings, even the unpleasant ones like fear and insecurity. Women might accept men are human too. In an adult relationship it should all be possible… but we have a long way to go I guess

          • Bongstar420

            Its not so much a doormat as it is a servant that is what ever she wants him to be first and foremost

          • Jack

            So when a woman cheats in a long distance relationship… Because her long distance boyfriend “yielded” to her by checking his own behavior. She lost respect for him because “he” decided she was probably right? OK, my last girlfriend had major trust and jealousy issues (from being cheated on herself) when I went to visit her for a month, she gave me shit because early in our relationship, before we even decided to have a relationship, I told her about another girl I had been talking to. So I brushed it off and said “want me to just fly back home?”. Anyway she relented and I thought I won that one.

            Next one she caught me glancing at a another girl in her town a few weeks later, she flipped out “if I can’t satisfy you, go be with another woman.” Again I just sort of gave her a cut-your-bullshit sort of look. Didn’t talk much for 10 minutes then I made a few jokes and she warmed back up. The last time was when we were out at a club, and I was a little drunk and it was stupid of me (by the way my ex was a Russian lawyer so I’m in Russia now mind you) she was dancing next to me at the club, I glanced around and said “you know Russian women are better looking than American women” (ouch) I just made it seem that she isn’t super special to me… Dumb comment. Well this time she throws another hissy fit and starts walking out of the club. I’m like oh dammit. So we are living together during this time and I after a few minutes follow her out. We start walking to another club and she starts the bitching and I just said “relax it doesn’t mean anything like that I came here for you, I’m a little drunk, chill out” anyway she is still being a bitch when we get to the next club and I’m starting to feel bad about it. So she is not next to me and I didn’t know she was watching but I turn to face a wall and sort of put my forehead against it for a moment. I just signaled submission basically. She walks up behind me, puts her arms around me and kisses my neck. Well now I said “listen I didnt mean it like that, I really care for you”. Anyway we go home have sex and had great sex that entire month, 3 times a day everyday. Before I am about to leave, she starts crying, saying she thought I would just blow her off when I got back. I now recognize this as another test, she was trying to get me to propose to her. (Honestly I wasn’t ready, I had to think about the whole moving to Russia for a while thing, how much I truly loved her, and her other issues) I hadn’t planned on it the first trip though I did talk to her about it quite often and family and kids. So anyway before I left while she and I ate dinner one night I sat and made a list of things I needed to do when I got back to the USA to get everything in order here for me to go back to her. And we talked about her coming to visit me. So anyway I left, got back to the US and started making phone calls, emails, and figuring out this whole massive move. But I didn’t do a lot physically yet for the first 3 weeks, I was also thinking a lot about the whole thing, examining my feelings, trying to decide if I wanted to commit fully to this one. That took me 3 weeks or so then I started all the physical work of organizing and gathering all my stuff moving my belongings out of my apartment into my parents place. Anyway the first 3 weeks she is missing me way more than I’m missing her, she is going nuts with jealousy accusations, and even crying a little on the phone sometimes. I reassure her (maybe I should have been harder and just told her to cut her shit and relax) but I said listen it’s OK I want to be with you, I told you it’s going to take me 6-9 weeks to get everything in order. Mind you it was 4 months before we even met in person the first time. After 5 weeks she starts acting strange and then comes the “I’m confused” shit. I said listen I’m serious about us, I am going to make this work. Then a few days later “we need to talk seriously about our relationship” I call her and am like now upset myself, nearly sobbing because I can “sense” what is about to happen. I told her listen I want to have family with you don’t pull this bullshit. She says she doesn’t want to make me upset but she needs to make a decision. 10 more days go by. I’ve been gone 7 weeks finally in my head I get it, someone else might be in the picture, I demand to Skype with her. I said OK I’m booking the ticket to come back now. She says no she didn’t want me to come back now. I said what is going on? Your crying 20 days ago about missing me, now this? She then admits to cheating on me the prior weekend. Said she still had feelings for me, we tried working it out but she just flipped the power dynamics of the relationship. I was struggling with the assortment of emotions and she just brought out my neediness and clinginess by doing that. Totally unattractive. Anyway eventually I got mad at her after a few weeks of us trying to work it out and she decided on the other guy. Afterwards saying that I didn’t seem like the leader type (alpha) realize that everything she did was to forcefully flip the power balance. Even though when I left I put myself in power. I spent months trying to figure this all out two months later she texts me and says that basically she manipulated me and since I didn’t resist all of it, she lost respect for me and thus attraction.

          • Julian Castillo

            That’s definitely a question for our experts, man. Have you considered becoming a member?

          • Jack

            Member where? I follow all the MGTOW stuff, I’ve read tons on female psychology. I am now switched over to being somewhat demanding and aggressive when I talk to girls it doesn’t really work either I know. But my own trust issues have now begun, honestly I was in a great place last year before all this and she just fucked it up with her own bullshit.

          • Research

            And thats why I want nothing to do with them…I don’t believe a damn thing women say or do anymore

        • Insidious Sid

          Woman complains about 3 ex’s: victim x 3
          Man complains about 3 ex’s: his fault x 3
          Yep, I’m here in the internet, alright…

          • Bongstar420

            And women call it “equality?

          • Guy

            The media portrays women as doing no wrong. Thats the problem. Women initiate divorce 80% To take the mans wealth due to unfair laws. They are also more likely to have affairs than men.

        • Eliteus999

          I agree with Venom….Don, when will you learn? You are treated by how you allow others to treat you. Get a spine, and demand the respect you feel you deserve! from anyone…including the woman in your life. First, shame on them of making shit happen, the second time?? Shame on YOU–for letting shit happen!

          • Bongstar420

            That is a primary female demand…so he will “protect” her from all the other chad’s out there

        • The Dude

          Venom – they’re all abusers…

        • Bongstar420

          Probably..since he isn’t a chad, he does poorly at subduing these witches

        • ABCXYZ


      • Joey

        Real talk.

        • Bongstar420

          Talking is with sounds…not with characters on an electronic screen

      • ABCXYZ

        More of them these days are just that “Evil” but towards men mostly. Why? If they have their own source of Income and/or Government, their need for a man, lessens significantly. There lies the problem and surely middle aged men figured this out by now?! It is so simple. You Don, should have learned by now, to have self-respect. It is wonderful to love a woman yet she must reciprocate and if, not get her out of your life. God, I have noticed so many men today who say nothing to horrible loud bitchy women; I wouldn’t tolerate it for a minute and I am in my 60s, a lean man, which maybe, is why my energy level (high) can’t tolerate abuse from either gender

      • Jenn

        I feel the need to apologize on behalf of all women for what you’ve been through… Gender roles in this country have become so incredibly skewed that I question whether it can ever be undone. I promise you that not all women are like this. There are still gentle, caring women out there who are not adamant about uprooting the masculinity of men. There are still feminine women who complement a man’s masculinity… this is as it should be. I cannot understand women who constantly challenge men’s natural persuasion, and yet wonder why they cannot maintain a relationship. I believe in the natural dominance of men, and embrace my role in my marriage as the submissive role. Many would say that I allow my husband to control me, it is not so… If there is mutual respect, no one is being controlled. I do not badger and nag him, and he does not order me about. He has his role, and I have mine. Balance is maintained, respect is paramount and love is the key… He is the bread winner, I am the homemaker, there are no doormats here. I hope the best for you in your quest to find a good woman, they are out there, I swear.

    • johneblaze20

      Thats where you fucked up, ” I need ” you don’t need a woman and more importantly women don’t want to feel “Needed” by men they want to feel “wanted” or desired if you will but not needed

    • johneblaze20

      But other than that you are correct

    • The Dude

      Hell yes. This author wrote from a “let’s advertise in a way that sells more feminine products”. I just kicked a girl to the curb I’ve known a for 12 years, we started dating and she built this amazing imaginary world for us which I really liked, then the diffic*nt showed up. It’s all on me to make the life perfect….I’m audi 5000.

      • Dark Princess

        12 years and your just gonna throw her out like trash.
        You guys made the commintment to start dating. Just because it starts to get hard doesn’t mean crap.
        If it’s so difficult for you then that means you weren’t committed enough to date her.
        She made a passage way for you to be in her heart, and you just throw her out like a toy you don’t play with anymore just because it starts getting hard.
        Grow up, put on you big boy pants, and suck it up.

        Your not gonna get any girl, or anywhere if your just gonna quit when things get DIFFICULT.

        • Toe

          It not nice what The Dude did 12 years is quiet long time so that’s kinda fucked up, but the chick shouldn’t expect a man to give her the world period, Men are not god.

    • ABCXYZ

      What a pile of crap with regards to today’s females; maybe yesterday’s but that was decades ago

    • ABCXYZ

      I apologize to you Bfh24788 as I started typing before reading your entire response and you are correct

    • Veni Vidi Vici

      Disagree, As cheerleaders praising a football game women tend to encourage violence among men. If women prefer the civil nice guy types why are so many attracted to gangsters?

  • JetsetterE

    I feel like there’s definitely a give and take. She’s trying to bring out the best in you. If the relationship isn’t like that and you aren’t trying to bring out the best in her as well, there’s nothing more to talk about. I like a relationship where people are pushing each other to be better.

    • Kirk

      Yes, she is trying to bring out the best in you. So she can take it all way in a divorce. And in a relationship, people should help each other to be better, not push each other to do so.

      • Pracht

        Yes I agree.. You should push when you have helped each other at the first place. If you start pushing more without the help or understanding; the relation will break.

        • Al Pha Satori

          Pushing should never occur. That’s dysfunction.

      • Don Dressel

        Yes bring out the best in you to take everything! You said it perfect! My ex told me her sister said I cheated on her all the time while we were together and I told her no I never cheated on her and that was the truth! I guess she got mixed up because she left me for another man while we were married!

      • Insidious Sid

        Yep. There is a difference between bringing out the best in someone and SUCKING the best out of someone. My divorce left me feeling that everything was my fault despite me bending over backwards to try and deal with the issues at hand, most of which she herself brought to the table. I was not perfect, but wow – I can’t believe what qualifies for a reason to blow up a marriage and family these days.
        It’s takes nothing at all.
        Totally not worth the risks in my opinion.
        Won’t ever marry again.

    • Al Pha Satori

      No one should have to be someone’s crutch by force. It should never be an expectation. That’s the root of the problem right there.

  • Alex

    I think this ‘fire’ we have is easily extinguished if most of it has been develeped by us for shallow things like getting the girl.  For instance are you a social and fun guy because your trying to impress some girls? or are you that through and through because that is the person you want to be. If your not a social guy at heart, granted its going to be alot alot harder to meet and get a girlfriend. But your best bet I think is to just be open about it.  Say things like ‘ what are you up to tonight going to the club? Im being my nerdy self and reading watching a documentary on wormholes’ There are girls out there who are nerds themselves and they might be really into letting themselves see it, and this way your going to get with a girl who youd most likely be compatible with and when youve picked up a really awesome video game for a saturday night, instead of a fight about you being lazy theres more of a chance you have a partner to play with.  Find your own passions in life first that arn’t about women, then no matter how weird or gay they might seem from a ‘cool’ standpoint be true to that and you’ll be alot happier in  life and the women you r attracting, because all the time you are advirtising, and its best to be an honest advirtisment then a fake one.  But if you honestly are a guy who is very social loves people and doing fun thing odds and going to clubs then go for it, but Ive been experimenting and I get girls talk to me more.   when I tell them what I do for fun on a saturday night is being my nerdy self and watching the lord of the rings. And when they ask what do I do for fun?  I say things like Im pretty much a nerd and enjoy science, documentaries video games and anime, and I loathe football, then if I say I like going to parties and the beach and geting totally drunk!! hahahaha

    • JCH

      Awesome thoughts Alex.

      Have you seen Unbreakable?  One of the things we talk about is the “attractiveness” of your activities.  I think it’s important to balance out the things that push us, with the things that are comfortable for us.

      • Alex

        Ill have to check out unbreakable thanks for the recomendation! I never expect to have topics of finding oneself as a part of meeting women. ha respect 😛

        • Cheryl Wilson

          Great point Alex, finding yourself and being assured in who you are is by far and away the BEST method of meeting someone suitable for you, rather than someone suitable for mass consumption.

  • Alex

    I think if wife has kids with hubby,its very,very stupid of her,she gotta encourage ,be positive person.Alex

    • Tom

      Hell yeah mate, been thru it all. Your spot on. 

      • Alex

        Listen Tom,I think every wife gotta have medical check-up in few years?

  • DavidT

    Very accurate post indeed. I especially Loved the “the only way that your girl is going to stop giving you tests of insecurity is through her own growth” line. But I would like to clarify something based on my own experiences. There’s something I would like to add to your concept of the “Strength Test” since it is something occurring CONSTANTLY in a male-female interaction, and they certainly will do them ALL the time, whether in a relationship or not. Sometimes she will test you in a “Strength Test” fashion, but not to revive that gorgeous image of THE MAN she fell in love with, but simply to see if she can walk over you, demanding some crazy incoherent crap, as if you were just picking her up for the first time all over again. I ADORE women and the way they get to me emotionally, and how I have to intelligently craft my way out of their “games”, though sometimes they get to out-wit me 😛 (its all a game after all; a POWER game, whether you like it or not). I state that in order not to confuse anyone about what I’m about to say as not to sound like a prick: men and women HAVE DIFFERENT ROLES. Period. And when the girl is obliged to assume the masculine role and be dominant, because the guy simply WON’T assume it or is too busy behaving like a child OR LIKE A WOMAN, not only the attraction (her’s and his’) fades immediately, but the relationship WILL turn to the worst. And this could even become actually dangerous, since some cowardly guys can do very stupid shit when they feel cornered. And it’s not the girl’s fault. It is, after all, her role, to make sure she’s not with a wimp who’s going to jeopardize the well-being of her offspring. Guys SHOULD all develop a personality suited to assume the leadership of a relationship, for the simple reason that women SHOULDN’T. It is OUR job.

    Anyway, Thanks for everything, Christian! great post!

    • Alex

      When women do weird stuff like what your saying, I say weird because its still new to me haha.  I usually let them know I notice it and depending on the degree to which it is blatantly making fun of or testing me Ill act accordingly, but mostly I just have a funny comment and move on to being normal.  I mean what other things can you do other than simply not make a big deal? And Im curious, what are some common wimpy, or childlike things that would make a girl feel like shes losing attraction and adopt the male role like you say?  THe only thing I can think of is like small things like where to go out that night or what to talk about.

      • DavidT

        That’s absolutely great….it is in fact THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE this kind of test…with humor! it shows that you’re definitely ON TOP of things and that she can’t affect you emotionally negatively. And best of all, you just move on like nothing happened….YOU are in control. Nice.

        Regarding your other question about common mistakes men make with their behavior that hints the girl that the guy is losing his MASCULINE PRESENCE AND POWER are actually quite common, since we’ve all been exposed to the same misleading ideas and disinformation (is that the right word? :P) regarding courtship, relationships, female attraction and seduction (we can blame Disney and Hollywood for that).

        The girl WILL resent you if you assume the female-role as she’ll be obliged to assume the male-gender-role. It doesn’t necessarily mean being the provider and being physically bigger (lol), it means being the LEADER, the person who makes the BIG decisions in the relationship and things are usually done his way, since his reality is dominant and has a better foundation. Off course, it doesn’t mean being a tyrannical and despotic asshole, it means (as wikipedia defines it) the “process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task”. You need the ability to influence on people to achieve leadership…I definitely DON’T want to sound sexist, and I repeat, I FREAKIN’ LOVE WOMEN, but understand this: women WANT (a few consciously, all unconsciously) to be a subordinate emotionally, BUT not to just anyone; TO A LEADER, TO A BAD ASS MALE, TO THE GUY WHO CAN MAKE HER FEEL LIKE A WOMAN. It’s not rare that you may have noticed that in lesbian couples there’s always, INVARIABLY, one of the girls assuming a male-gender-role and one assuming the female one. Hell, they may even take turns at times! lol.

        Some examples of being the Woman of the relationship could be: the one who provides the drama and out-of-control emotional tantrums, when you victimize yourself and are constantly seeking for her (or anyone’s but yourself) approval and validation, being weak and letting her or anyone walk over you (being a wuss), denying your SEXUAL NATURE and how you’re naturally a HORNY human being!! (YES THAT IS VERY VVVEEEERRRYYY FEMENINE, since they even deny the fact that they fart, piss and are able to take HUUUUGGEE  STINKY SHITS! LOL), being too accommodating and complacent, saying (in a very offended manner) that you hate football games, videogames, beers and huge tits hahaha, don’t pretend you like everything women like just to generate some connection with them, that is actually manipulative and weak. The list goes on and on….as a matter of fact, being very emotional actually happens to be very “womanly”. Us men were made as more logical than emotional creatures for a reason. It’s certainly NOT to be stupid emotionless automated robots. It means, as the genius Joshua Pellicer clearly states it: “you’re not allowed to make emotionally-based decisions”. She will then feel that SHE CAN’T DO IT or else, everyone is screwd, so she has to assume the responsability to make the “logic-decisions”….and she WILL eventually HATE IT. BELIEVE ME!. You have to assume the duty of letting her be as emotional as she wants until you see her behavior can hurt her, you or the relationship, moment in which you MUST stop her and lead her into the right path (again, kuddos to Joshua Pellicer).

        You behave like A MAN when you: (and I got this from Christian) PROVIDE VALUE to the people surrounding you (not just the girl you’re picking up), when you influence and affect people, when you can ellicit specific emotions on anyone (particularly attractive if you can do so with women), when you behave confidently and self-assured, when you have ambitions and passions and you speak of them and how you’re going to reach them equally enthusiastically, when you show her that she doesn’t affect you emotionally negatively (she can’t put you down, she can’t make you unhappy or angry….she can only disappoint you if she doesn’t behave to your standards….provided that you’ve got standards lol), when you can have fun in any situation as you’re self-amused and can tease her and banter with her in a fun way, when you ESCALATE on her dominantly on your own terms and rhythm [this one is powerful as it makes her engage in a very instinctive subordinate attitude 😉 ], when you reward her for assuming the female-role, etc, etc, etc, you catch my drift….

        Thanks for your opinion and question, I love this subject very much….by the way, if you want to REALLY learn about this, you should definitely see Unbreakable or Fearless. They are quite good. And obviously the guy I quoted early on: Joshua Pellicer. (He’s the BOMB)

        Best of luck guys!

        David T

        • Alex

          hey dude, I just read all of that and I was agreeing with everything but one thing you said really stood out for me.. is
          not denying your sexual nature and being open about being a horny human being… ha…. Ive never thought about that before.  Ive told girls I thought they were pretty but it didn’t really increase report as much as I had thought so I don’t do that outright anymore..anyways good thread haha. I love talking about this stuff to, obviously I think my number one goal is getting the pretty girls, but there is a beauty in the science of this stuff.  talk to you later man.

    • Harry

      Dave what u say has a lot of wisdom to it,i have found myself at times acting like a wussy bitch and wasn’t aware of it,however what i was aware of is that there is nothing better than that that will make a woman,have absolute contempt for you.and yes it is a power game and if u are the male u gotta be the MAN in the relationship,i have learned this the hard way,but i’ve learned it and will never have to learn it again.

      • DavidT

        Its really nice to hear that! great job dude! and thanks! (you should see my answer to Alex’s reply to my statement above, I poured my soul into it 😉 lol)

        David T

    • Kirk

      If it’s okay for a woman to test a man, it is okay for a man to test a woman? Or would that be abuse?

      • Isaq

        Kirk, hahahha why not testing her? And see if she will stand by you. Tell her you lost your job or anything which put all of you in a back foot and see the reaction. Evil staff but worked for me

  • Great distinction between these two tests women commonly give. If as a guy, you are not “where you want to be” as a person yet, and your girl ISN’T giving you tests of strength… it’s time to step back and ask yourself, how much can I grow with this woman?

    A woman worth keeping will always be pushing you to step your game up. And when she does, it’s on you to respond like a man – don’t dismiss it as nagging if she’s legitimately pushing you to be stronger – put the ego aside and man up.

  • mike

    Brilliant as always, Christian.

    I know (at least now I do) whenever I get into an argument with a woman, it’s usually because of some internal meaning I give to the situation.

    She says some words and then I interpret that as “she’s trying to control me” or “she’s trying to hurt me”.

    Then I ask myself “what meaning does this situation have inherently?”
    The only answer is none. You can give a situation any meaning.
    I could think “she loves me and is having a bad day”
    or like you said “she loves me and is testing me”

    Doing this actually pre-empts any anger reaction. It’s hard to get mad at somebody who loves you.

    Just thought I’d share something I learned…
    If you wanna know more google “morty lefkoe occurring process”


    • Kirk

      Then if you love her, you should test her too. Let us know how that goes.

  • Another great post! So well written, as well.

    Often, those “Tests of Strength” hurt not only because she’s pushing you “out there” in the big bad world, but also because they can feel like a stab, rejection, or an insult (because they can be, as you say, emasculating).

    What wannabe pick up artists wrongly do is to respond with “game” and “rejecting her frame” or some BS like that. And it might escalate into an argument or “DRAMA” (the kryptonite of many PUAs).  But that’s just weak. And she knows it. And deep down, he will feel it.

    Great stuff, man!

    • Chao

      This is great blog post, and a lot of these responses were helpful too, because there’s actually a topic in the Social Forums I made when I was struggling with this concept. The types of test make a lot of sense when you look at them in the way Christian explained, but I can’t help but sometimes feel like upon entering an interaction with a woman I’m going to instantly be judged on everything I respond to. The discussion back over at the message board was enlightening, but here is my problem at the moment:

      Let’s take an example where I’m just introducing myself to a girl in class, at a gym, or something. I’ve heard from different sources that even when I want to introduce myself to a woman, they will “test” you. I’m not in a relationship with this woman. I don’t have any particular connection to her yet. 

      Now, I know the concept of “tests” is probably way overblown in these situations, and I’ve probably worried about it too much. But some things I’ve read act like a woman will immediately begin to try and say things to see what kind of way I react, and many times they will appear to be swipes at my personality or something. I hear “they’re never going to stop doing it, so get used to it”, and it irritates me.

      To continue on from the example, let’s discount anything people might label a “test” that is actually just flirting, like her joking about my gym attire, etc.

      They say you’ll hear things like “Are you always this forward?”, or a similar thing. It seems tailor-made to try and make the guy they’re talking to self-conscious. I don’t mind reassuring them that I’m the confident guy I appear to be, but some of the things people say I can expect to hear out of women seem downright unpleasant, like they are intentionally making the conversation go to an awkward place to see what I do in response.

      My question is: Why would I even want to continue a conversation with a woman when she puts out negative vibes like that? She’s a making a first impression on ME, too, and that makes me have a strong desire to cut the interaction short then and there.

      Have I worried too much about this? It certainly follows logically that a woman who makes a conversation difficult on purpose the first time you meet them will only get worse once you start dating them. Some of these “tests” don’t come off as flirting at all, they honestly come off like the woman doing it feels entitled to act in a bitchy/unpleasant manner for whatever reason. 

  • Jammer

    I have a question here:

    Is this gender specific? While I’m 100% straight, I’ve been kinda messing with the boys a lot lately and one of them jokingly said “Ladies first” and it hit me that I was behaving in a feminine way by testing and bantering. Then again, I’ve had other friends who’ve tried to solicit favours from me like a woman would (no flirting involved) and I’ve told them it’s needy and feminine, the second part sets them off.

    Basically us guys hate being seen as feminine and will do anything to avoid it. Perhaps most of us need a lesson on how to be a straight-up, no bullshit REAL MAN. I know most of my mates and I shit-talk our way into success often, but it’s our truthful and straightforward actions that separate the select few of us from the male herd.

  • Alex Kozlowski

    Good article for the most part but you don’t really give any advice on how to DEAL with these tests properly.

    • Kirk

      Because the only way to DEAL with these tests is to refuse to take them. Anyone who wants to test you in a relationship does not deserve to be in a relationship.

  • Reallylongnamehaha

    So true… wish my pal had read this sooner.

  • Redaou

    stop giving womens too much importance,i think you poeple from america see the women as your equal and thats the probleme,i come from africa,and the women walk with me either in the back or on my side but never in front.

    • Rash

      Well said, Redaou.  Just by reading the comments on here, it would seem most American men are manginas who will put up with whatever crap a woman gives them.  If a bitch hit them they would they hit her back?  Most likely they would tell themselves that they should “man up” and just take it.  A woman who acts like a bitch most likely is a bitch, and my interest in her evaporates.

      • Jammer

         Equal is good, pedestal is bad.

        I am trained that if anyone hits me I block with force or deflection whether the attacker is male or female. Of course this is calibrated.

        In reply to the earlier posts I agree, I expected better from Christian. This post is starting to sound like PUA was 10 years ago and those little minions who go around preaching the old strategies and lingo.

        • JCH

          It’s always really weird to me when I see guys talking about hitting girls.  How often do you guys get in fights with girls?  I’ve had a few pillows thrown at me in my life, but seriously… what is going on that women are hitting you?

          As for Redaou and Rash, well… your opinions just strike me as morally and socially wrong.  Sometimes I see guys make comments like this and it is just so far off from my mindset.  And you know, everyone’s gonna do what works for them, but I meet a lot of guys with attitudes like that who end up with women who are insecure and who put up with their shit… not awesome, self-confident women who challenge their men to be better.  I appreciate you guys voicing your thoughts here but they’re sure counter to what my own experience has been in developing awesome relationships.

          Jammer – I don’t understand how this sounds like pickup stuff from ten years ago… I saw some of that stuff and it was really geeky, filled with lingo, and showed no understanding of male-female dynamics… and while this article contains some simple concepts, it could hardly be considered to be filled with lingo 😉  But I’m curious where you’re drawing the comparison from… and thanks for expecting better 😉

          • Kirk

            Well, since studies show that woman are more likely to initiate arguments and violence in relationships, I would say that women tend to hit often. Are you blaming the men and saying it’s their fault that they are being abused by their women? Because men can never be victims?

    • J

      no no… you are too rude.   I am a woman and allowed to do as I please without your chauvinistic approach.  Sorry but Ie do for myself, think for myself and be myself. You all can’t handle rejection and get mad at single women like me  CAN’T DO.   NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO IF YOUR NOT INVOLVED WITH ME.  GET IT KUNTA KENTE’?

      • J

        & maybe they walk in front of you to get the hell away from you.

    • farah

      fuck you

    • Arvind G Balasubramaniam

      Same here in India although our urban landscape is changing and becoming more like the west. However, our men (atleast here in the south) have balls and won’t let a woman take charge. If a woman acts like a bitch (i do encounter a few in the dating scene) I lay the mental hurt on their over-inflated egos. I don’t enjoy it as I’m not a sadist at heart, but I see it as a duty since I believe it’s the lack of repercussions that turns women into bitches.

  • Jwrivera387

    I’m sure most of us can agree that we’ve been in these positions. I’ll admit I was and as simply put as it is in the article its still an eye opener. I’ve been putting something off for a while and I have a great girl trying to get me to do it. If I keep the attitude of I’ll “eventually get to it” I’m showing her a different person than who I claimed to be when I swept her off her feet. Let’s be honest too we’re much happier when we’re more like the person we want to be. For me that requires a push from her and accepting that she’s right. Exceellent article!

  • J.

    Agree with davidT… this post is missing the point that, tests of strength include
    testing of your confidence and security about yourself, and your ability
    to remain strong in the face of chaos and challenge. it’s more about satisfying her own needs as well as her offsprings for security.

    • Cheryl Wilson

      Those are the first type of test though, the kind which you are supposed to balk at if you really want to prove your worth.

  • Bob

    this is such a chauvinist blog lol


    we are living in different times today, and there are much more low life loser women now than ever before. women have become so very difficult too meet now, and most of them have a very bad attitude problem and are so very hard to communicated with. then again, we certainly have much more women that are LESBIANS TODAY. DON’T WE?

  • Melan Beko

    Oh great more of the same “im a drooling idiot and i need a woman to save me” crap.

    Women are full of crap and if you jump through hoops for them (or “tests” as the author of this masterpiece calls it) then you’re nothing but their little toy.

    No need to try and understand them so you can fit into their unrealistic expectations.

    Just be yourself, do what you do and one day you will meet a woman that loves you for who you are and not what SHE wants you to be. 


    • Sad But True

      you are so simple minded.

      • Kirk

        No, Dim Koss is intelligent. You are a simple-minded misandrist who just see men as some kind of resource to be abused by women whenever they see fit.

        • The Truth

          Your an Idiot too.

          • John Doe

            Haha butthurt much hun’ ? 🙂 truth hurts

          • Absolutely


  • J_wayt

    you need to try dealing with a pregnant woman or one who’s just given birth a few days ago: absolutely impossible to deal with and mostly pointless too

    • Natty Kadifa


  • Christopher Aspen

    mind games,unwilling to listen,have no clue how to choose the right person to love and to settle down with-women who complain about bad abusive men tend to go for them all the time so why complain

  • TheAbsoluteTruth

    women have become so very complicated today, and connecting with a good one for many of us very serious men is very impossible today. i will never understand why they are so very mean to us men that don’t play the games that they are, and especially when you try to start a normal conversation with them. we certainly need more women like June Cleaver and Donna Reed around again., but where are they?

    • Glenna Mercado

      Because men are innately sociopaths and evil. It comes natural for men to hurt women and turn them to stone cold bitches. Good luck with your hand, asshole and think about your bloody June Cleaver. Women behave like bitches because the men around them are chauvinistic pigs who deserve it. Misandry is justice, breaking men’s spirits should be a paid job.

      • Velea Ioan

        “To generalize is to be an idiot.”- William Blake.

        If one plant is poisonous that does not mean all plants are. Some flowers are really beautiful you just have to know how to smell them and when. Sometimes they need water ,proper care and they will show their appreciation. If not , search for different flower.

        Nobody turns you into a cold bitch but yourself. Your excuse by blaming others just shows your limited judgement.

        I feel really bad for you and as a innately sociopath and evil guy i am giving you a flower.Maybe that will bring a happy smile on your face and a sad smile on mine.

        • JCH

          Haha did William Blake really say that?

          But yeah… it’s funny/sad how the comments on this post have gotten completely out of control. Clearly a lightening rod for people with frustrations about the opposite sex to vent.

      • Ben

        your a loser just like the rest of them

        • Glenna Mercado

          Look at all the butthurt I gave. I’m so proud. It’s you’re you retard. Prove me wrong, because I’ve been halfway around the world and mostly saw everything. By statistics, there are more Male Serial Killers in history than women.

          • Natty Kadifa

            shit test right here ^^

          • Insidious Sid

            My Ghetto Meter is right off the scale here…

          • TurtleNeckJoe

            Yet women are more violent in relationships. But you’ve been all over the world, was it? And seen it all?

      • Kirk

        Well, if men are innately sociopaths and evil, it’s because women raised them to be that way. In particular, the men and women raised by single mothers are more likely to become criminals. Women behave like bitches because society allows them to get away with it. The spirits of man-haters like you should be broken so you don’t produce more psychopaths.

        • Glenna Mercado

          Trust me, I aborted babies to know that. If you were my kid, I will abort you twice.

          • Insidious Sid

            Please, PLEASE Glenna, keep aborting your whore-spawn and do NOT reproduce. Please stick to cats. Thank you. The fact most of you man (and life) hating feminists remain child-free is a blessing. Your cancerous ilk are breeding yourselves out of existence and I couldn’t be happier. PS – if you hate men so much, maybe stop having sex with them and you won’t need all the abortions. Oh wait, I’m sure every pregnancy was the result of rape. If you’re a feminist, you can’t have sex, you can only be raped. Please, go die alone with your pointy-eared furry children.

        • Glenna Mercado

          Women behave like bitches, because men act like dicks first.

      • Seriously Speaking

        YOU are a total waste of humanity.

        • Glenna Mercado

          You are soo butthurt, because it’s true

          • rmyguy

            Been 2 years and yet no one has uped you… hmmm wonder who is in the right here?

          • ABCXYZ

            Amazing…you show an image as Glenna of attractiveness and yet in your soul, there is deep trouble coming.

      • Don Dressel

        C’mon not all men are bad! I treated my wife great and now she is on chat rooms with younger guys because she is unhappy yes unhappy with herself!
        There are bad and good men and women. We all just have to be careful!
        I have tried but never would have believed she would do this to me after 24 years.
        Take care

      • Insidious Sid

        Misandry is weakness, and why feminism will ultimately fail women. The spirits of real men cannot be broken, and it’s only broken women like you who still need men. You can fight hate with hate all you want, but it will consume you. Trust me.

      • Burt Callahan

        Female (lack of) logic: men have let women alone for fifty+ years now and they still complain that we have done something to them. Read martin van creveld and see how incredibly lost you are without men. Do you think your little fingers typed those words on a device invented by a woman or a man? Hmm, honey?

        • Eleanor Gt500

          In all fairness you have to think about women who were oppressed at one point with no voting rights and considered a second class citizen. Women were stuck in the kitchen giving men the advantage to go to school and open their minds to new possibilities. It’s a nasty vicious cycle when it comes to these topics, but in reality we are all responsible for our own choices in life and we attract our own karma. No man or woman should be treated with disrespect, eventually one day we’ll get it right and actually lend a helping hand rather than a pointed finger….

          • TurtleNeckJoe

            In all fairness? Yeah, right.

      • ABCXYZ

        You need more than a psychiatrist with this kind of thinking, you are a dangerous women and actually evil saying ALL men are … I hope you never have a child

      • Insidious Sid

        ^^And there it is folks. The end product of 3rd wave feminism: TOXIC FEMININITY. “Misandry is justice, breaking men’s spirits should be a paid job.” Enjoy your cats, you man hating feminist freak. Feminism is cancer, just read what these people write.

      • Arvind G Balasubramaniam

        I love it when they talk their hearts for the world to see. Now, is THIS the kind of person our justice systems should support in an alimony? Is this the kind of person a man must sacrifice his life for? This woman is typical of modern feminist culture. I bet this female would do a volte face and be Miss Charm when she meets some wealthy beta simp whom she intends to feed on like a parasite.

      • Dark Princess

        I agree with you.
        This is part of why we ave gay/lesbian relationships now.
        Woman have figured out that we don’t need a man to be happy they barely make us happy most of the time.
        Woman have figured that we now exactly what we like, and want so we go after other woman.
        Most woman don’t know what a guy like/ wants, and a guy doesn’t know what we like.
        So, why not.
        We woman only behave the way we do, because of whats round us
        If your gonna treat me like crap or a B****h then im gonna treat you like one.
        If you treat me with respect, and love, and care. I’ll treat you the same way.
        Why is that so hard for men to understand??

        • TurtleNeckJoe

          Because some of us were the nice guy and got treated like crap by women , but then we listened to Tom leykis and discovered that women treat us nicely when we’re a-holes? Yes, it works that way and I’m always treated nicely now. The nice guy never gets anything, while the a-holes always get something. Explain that, will you? And, no, you women always say the same thing: I just wanted to be treated nicely. When one learns about female nature one learns that what women say and do are two different things.

      • Ask yourself this: how are you contributing to a better world? A better world can only happen when we break the cycles of hate. You are justifying any kind of hate.

      • TurtleNeckJoe

        An honest womyn. You know you wrote that over a male driven and invented medium? Called the Internet?

  • Robert Talbot

    “There are two ways to pass these tests. The first is to accept and
    reflect upon your woman’s words, seeing in yourself the man who she
    expects you to be.”

    Are you frickin kidding us? Just be yourself, because if you have to pretend to be what your wife wants, thinks, or imagines you to be, then you’ll have two people with an identity crisis.

    Men have to start being men again, and women need to start being nurturing again.

    • JCH

      “Women need to start being nurturing again” – sounds like you want a mom, not a partner.

      Mate, we are *all* for the empowerment of men, but not at the expense of a woman’s right to be strong, driven, and yes… challenging.

      And the context in which you’re saying “just be yourself” reads more like “just be selfish.” Relationships – whether with a woman, a business partner, etc. – are about give and take… compromise… and hopefully, mutual growth. Either you grow together by aligning interests and working through the sticking points, or you grow apart.

      It strikes me that you’ve either been hurt in a relationship or two, or you’re reading too many angry manosphere blogs. There’s a much better way of thinking, and I hope you’ll stick around here long enough to let it sink in – I assure you your life will be better if you do.

      • Robert Talbot

        Your not about empowerment you are apologetic. What you are referring to is that women were not empowered as mothers, and that being nurturing as a women is not being strong and driven. Have you ever cared for children?

        Women have ditched their nurturing duties as women, and have jumped into competing and acting like men. The only ones truly suffering are children in a marriage or relationship. Take a hard look around at how F’d up our society is today since people put children at a low priority. Someone has to nurture children, but these day it appears no one is.

  • TRUJOhn

    I do not agree with most of the stuff you just said, 100 years ago women didn’t have those sort of “tests”, because their role into society was different, what your telling me is that let the woman make all the decisions do what she wants when she wants me to do it, because she wants whats best for me. This is a load of crap, the test come because its in the nature to be manipulative its in their nature to try and control every aspect of everyone life. They manipulate very well using techniques like, playing deaf, not talking to you for several days, ignoring you, things like manipulation with sex, or she is at fault with something she turns around and says ohhh but when you did this 1 year ago they never seem to be at fault with anything, they are perfect and we always have to go begging for forgiveness with flowers and chocolate. This is ridiculous if they spend less time manipulating, and crapping on people to hit their agenda then things would go better. I am sorry if this sounds ruff i been married for quite a few years and i seen it all, but i don’t back down its not me, i mean why should i if i am right. Check this out if i go out with a couple of mates to catch a game, when i come back all hell breaks lose, but it is ok for her to go out with her friends and if i bitch about it she will play deaf for a while pretending i dont exist hoping that i will go ask for forgiveness, when you don’t and you fight back with the same weapon situations changes temporarily because she gets the message that those sort of manipulation dont work, then she will start and talking and communicating. I dont agree with mind games and crap like that come and tell me to my face John this is bothering me, lets talk about it, then yes i can be there for her, but expecting me to be a mind reader and pass her shit test not gonna happen. Also the grooming part is really weird i mean seriously do your wife or gf tell you to go wash your ass? or get a hair cut and so on? C’mon whats the matter with you

    • Cheryl Wilson

      Very wrong, TRUJohn, decades ago women had far more demanding tests than this. My grandmas and mother, and every other woman of their generation that I know of, would never put up with the kinds of behavior from men that women today tolerate. Most men these days are happy to tell me that they not only want but NEED the challenges of a woman of character to keep them from becoming totally degraded. The problem is, there’s a general lack of character. Women aren’t tested (as new guy Kirk has pointed out), and they should be, as much as it pains me to agree with someone who is so obviously very angry and wanting to blame all women.

      Yes that is what I said: if you want a woman of character, test her in it, and if she doesn’t hold up, get rid of her. If you think the standards for women have fallen too low, it’s because no one is holding them up to a standard. And I’m saying this to you as a FEMINIST.

      • ABCXYZ

        You mean to say that men have changed more than women? What planet do you live on? Your gender decided to become so unnatural by competing with us and STILL maintain you STATUS at home wanting your cake and eat it too! You are either not too bright or a manipulative female. Now you will reply likely the typical “I am a woman hater” which will further indicate the lack of practical logical natural thinking or put simply (level of IQ). TELL THE TRUTH

      • Insidious Sid

        2 years late reply, Cheryl, but if you try to hold a woman up to any standard or have some expectations for her or her behavior, or disagree with anything she wants, 98% of “modern” feminists play the misogyny card. That’s why aside from making feminists lives miserable online, and lobbying my government to stop funding Marxist/Socialist women’s studies programs, I avoid feminist women in real life like the plague. Most women in North America these days are either self-proclaimed feminists or are just infected by them. These women get nothing from me but my back as I walk away. Then they don’t have to worry about my ‘toxic masculinity’ (lol) and creepiness (word has lost all meaning) and I don’t have to deal with their incredible fear and loathing of men, and their amazing sense of entitlement despite claims of independence and equality. I’m saying this to you as an anti-feminist, because modern feminism is cancer and has nothing to DO with “equality between the sexes” because that just the BS modern feminism is wrapped in.

      • TurtleNeckJoe

        Hope you’ll read this. About 20 years ago I noticed that if men talk to and behave towards women the way women talk to and behave towards men they get soooo mad after seconds, and I literally means seconds. The first time I even said to a woman that I had noticed this she got so mad and didn’t speak to me for almost a week. Flush your hateful feminism down the toilet, Cheryl. It’s the most destructive ideology that has ever existed on this planet (yes, even more than that one) but you just don’t see it, do you. Look up SCUM Valerie Solanas.

  • Paul

    it is really very hard meeting a real good honest one these days.

    • Cheryl Wilson

      That can be said for the majority of the species, Paul. Women have just joined in the game that men have been playing for decades. I know, it sucks that women were supposed to uphold the moral standard and have dropped the ball, but the purpose of dropping the ball was that it wasn’t our ball to carry in the first place. It’s everyone’s ball. It’s each of our jobs to make an ethical code and live by it, and each of our jobs to test and screen people to see it they meet the standard, and each of our jobs to stop rewarding people who don’t make the team.

      • Seriously Speaking

        Most women today are just a waste of humanity, and they are very stuck up and have mental problems. Years ago, women were much easier to meet. Now women want men with money, and will not settle for less. Well that explains why our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were married such a very long time when the times were certainly very different. And they were very committed to one another since money was never an issue. It is just a shame that many of us men weren’t born much sooner then we would had been settled down with a real good woman with a family too, and many of us men would have been happy with just one woman too.

        • Cheryl Wilson

          That’s the result of a culture that focuses on getting stuff, the reason your grandparents’ relationships worked for so long is because they didnt have the consumption-motive. They had different cultural priorities, so they looked at their spouse as a partner in attaining a stable life, not an accessory to obtaining a quality life. It’s an important distinction.

          That’s not going to change for us until we get a lot poorer, materially.

      • Paul

        What game are we playing? there are many of us sincere men out there that don’t play games like many of you women do. Why take your problems out on us innocent men, and that just shows me how much of a Loser you really are.

        • Cheryl Wilson

          Paul, male or female, it’s extremely difficult to find someone who DOESNT play games, and theres so few people with the dignity and self-awareness to be able to avoid getting sucked in to the game-playing, and it’s become so common in the dating ritual that it’s almost expected now, you need to be a master-gamer to come out ahead. It’s tragic.

          At any rate, decent people do exist, you just have to be willing to go without love until you find it, and that’s a sacrifice most people aren’t willing to make. Me, I’d rather be alone than degrade myself for that kind of man. I got over being angry about it long ago though. I see the realization is new for you though, but if you put the time in to being self-aware, at some point you will realize that you did the right thing by leaving the game. There’s no dignified way to play it, and you just lose your soul in the process.

          I hope the men here are raising their own bar, and expecting more from women, and from themselves, because what I see in the world, it’s quite clear why so many relationships fail.

          • Paul

            Well what about many of us men that are very seriously looking for a good woman to settle down with?, and many of us KNOW how to treat a woman very well and with RESPECT too. Many women nowadays certainly really need to grow up which many of them haven’t yet. Just too many very HIGH MAINTENANCE WOMEN out there today always looking for the RICH MAN instead. Most of these women today are very SPOILED, and God forbid if they ever had to work as hard as the women did years ago they would’ve had it VERY TOUGH.

          • Natty Kadifa

            Thank you for contributing some sense Cheryl. I am observing the relations between the genders as that growing pains period, bit like adolescence, you may not get down with astrology and what not, but as we move into the age of Aquarius this change is demanding our physical, mental and spiritual growth. I firmly can’t stand the hysteria of modern day feminism or the gynocentricism of ‘trad-cons’, but I also see the bitterness of mgtows and the victim like reaction of the mra, oh and the sociopathy of some pua’s. These ideologies are all reacting to the spiritual challenge that this new age is demanding from us. Indeed, prior to womens lib, men often did take the piss, the burden of morality was left mainly to women and they got sick of the weight. Lets not forget the influence of the industrial revolution and technology. Being a homemaker used to be hard work, then by the 1950’s it became easier. Women were presented with the chance to start using any smarts they had in different ways on a larger scale. So combined with these societal changes, Men and women’s natural, biological roles began to be tested, feminism was never really just about this or the lack of masculinity, it was about the in-balance of morality and virtue that had developed. Both genders have a part to play in carrying this, right now, no one wants it, its being passed around like a hot potato. I think where we as a society want to get to is a place where men can be who they and women who they are without feeling like they have a deficit on either side. It’s like a contract negotiation thats been going on for 50 years +! Someone needs to get to the heart of the matter, there is a light, it’s small, but it is there.

  • anonymous

    great topic
    they are freaking difficult and in some ways fucking crazy
    i work in an office filled with all women and in the process of changing fields – and will. fellas, think of how disgusting it is to be around PMS, menapause, and childbirth stories all day long
    as men we might have some communication or emotional short comings – its cool, i can certainly live with this
    women have so much in their freaking minds, mood swings, you name it – with many of them its like your basically talking to a fucking psychopath
    in the world of dating (let’s just be honest ‘game of dating’), women hold a lot of the cards to use and abuse an honest guy as they want to. don’t forget about all of the CT’s and teases that are out there gentleman, don’t forget about all of the bitches who live with severe mental healh issues, and don’t forget about all of the ones who are out there looking for a sugar daddy
    most of all, always be aware gentlemen….

    • $46033475

      Estrogen is the single most powerful and dangerous mind-altering drug on the planet…

      • Cheryl Wilson

        I think that’s dopamine, personally.

        • Arvind G Balasubramaniam

          Dopamine is that which makes people happy. You’ve got it confused with someone else or you have a twisted worldview.

    • Natty Kadifa

      So knowing the nitty gritty about childbirth and pms is a positive thing for you believe it or not! , it really is disgusting and it is so powerful that when women are free to talk about it it takes the edge off the burden for them. I’m glad you realise just how disgusting it really is having to deal with the dark side of nature. Honestly be thankful you have heard from the horses mouth. Now having said that, perhaps you can now go back into work and kindly remind these women that work isn’t the place to be discussing the messiness of female life, I know it sounds like social suicide, but I honestly believe there is a way you can achieve this and you will be viewed as being more alpha because of it. Never a bad thing.

  • austin miller

    Men have violent impulses ‘because’ of Women, many studies show this,Men compete with Men for Women,take the Women away and We are peaceful (after a couple of weeks) 🙂 🙂

    • Star

      Yeah, sure thing… we know exactly what happens when women are removed from the picture, you can see it in any local prison. We also know that male dominated societies in which women are locked inside their homes are also one of the most violent ones, think Afghanistan…
      It’s the presence of women that mitigates a lot of the male aggression, men always behave a lot better and civilized when women are around.

      • Kirk

        Actually, children raised by single mothers are more likely to become violent. Women are more likely to kill young children in Western, matriarchal, feminist societies. And the reason why there is violence in places like Afghanistan and the Middle East is because women hold grudges and insist that men settle these grudges. Naomi Wolf, a feminist, found this out when she did her thesis on Palestine. She thought that the women would be peacekeepers but instead found that they were willing to sacrifice their own children for an independent Palestine and that they vilified men who didn’t fight against Israel. Men aren’t better when women are around.

  • Trev

    So being within a relationship just can’t be? A woman could alway enjoy the man she’s with, rather that some ridiculous ideal man she’s being cooking up for years. A man should only define himself and be defined by himself. Either a woman gets it or she doesn’t. Move on quickly if she doesn’t or you will lose. If a woman ‘realises’ that your not the man for her after several years and a couple of kids, she’ll wash her hands of you but keep one in your pocket.
    Ask yourself, do you need the screaming harpie, or the quietly cutting shrew in your life?
    You don’t need women around, you need something to do, or achieve.

  • the dude

    Well just how women want to upkeep that image of the man they fell in love with i can say the same. I fell in love with my girl same as everyone else falls in love, because there was something avput her. but she turns out tp be this quiet, unmotivated, quick quitter, hard to keep a conversation, secretive, type of person. and yes I guess I can relate to why women “test”. I finally got used to her personality but now i feel like im trying less. and its not that I haven’t been trying. iveintroduced her to many of my interests, have tried to keep conversation lengthy and interesting, but anything I do i feel like she doesn’t get my message. that she needs to step it up because other interesting girls are out there and yes their attention does give me an uneasy feeling that maybe I dont like my girl very much. I love and care for her but her simple and uninteresting personality makes me feel like I dpnt like her. so my point is that women aren’t the only ones to feel that way. I can relate to why women “test”

  • goaway

    they are all ogres with no sense of reality dignity or decentcy,everything has to be about them,man has no part in woman except for reproduction and doing what they are told,its a trap,avoid it,have sex say thanks and leave! you will get abused,but only the once and as your out of their they cant re vist and re vist every mistake you have ever made over and over yet mention anything about their passed and its over, its a 1 way street with women!

  • warrior4just

    What i think is:
    you see from the female world view.
    You propose gynocentric resolutions at the end. And no, exactly no man should lower his own drive and choices just to meet what she expects..that’s down right an insult to manhood, call it what you want ‘ego, like u called’, but a man’s world doesn’t revolve around his woman

    • Natty Kadifa

      do you compromise for any one in your life?

  • Connor

    if your going to be a manipulative woman 24/7, than that just proves she shouldn’t be with you because she cares more about herself. Men have testostrone, energy, we have emotions to just like women, but just because men like sex a lot (not all) doesn’t mean that we’re pieces of trash. Women have estrogen, some women can’t control their mood swings because the level of estrogen they have. depends on age, how much teststrone/estrogen your body produces, but not all are the same, im not trying to make a generalization.

  • hühnchen

    How about the writer mans up and takes responsibility for his own behaviour, which elicits the “bitching” from the woman. I find women rarely complain about their partners unless there’s reason to do so!
    Put a lid on your macho man shit and listen to each other. Problem solved!

    • Kirk

      Put a lid on your feminist misandry and listen to your men. Women complain because they love to do so. Women even complain about other women! Shut up already and be more appreciative. Problem solved!

    • Alien

      I heard a story about 4 couples; in one the woman started bitching about her man soon all the women started bitching about their men and they all ended up divorced….
      Lessen keep company with happy couples

  • Jack

    This is a bunch of bull. I don’t need a woman around to make me feel good or to balance me out. I am just fine the way that I am . It’s nice to have a woman around for sex and company sometimes, but you really don’t need them. I can cook, clean, and groom myself just fine without the help of a woman. Let’s not get it twisted women can be fun to be around, but they don’t complete me. They are an addition to my life.

    • b0b hooper

      Spot on Jack.

  • Johnny Torres

    Yes. The problem is when a woman wants to continue arguing for no apparent reason.

  • oliver

    Guys, all I can say is pick well…pick the woman u are determined to love well because once u start the courtship if you overstep your boundaries and let her no more then she should about how much u care, you may be in for a rollercoast ride..
    The woman I care about is not available, already involved, and yet she jokes around about being available all the time..She knows how much I value being with her and yet when we speak she won’t look at me..
    It kills me inside to feel the frustration of not really knowing what is going on in her mind and yet I cannot walk away from this whole experience …
    I don’t know whether her taunting her availability and passiveness when I am around are tests. all I know is I do not want to give into the pain that it generates because the basis for those actions seem unjustified or discordant with a healthy relationship

    • Alien

      Real Human
      The woman I luv isn’t built yet…we have intelligent conversation we share common interests is easy going undemanding does not use emotional or sexual blackmail to get her way. Has commonsence lives within our means and likes sex on demand… She’s a highly sexy looking Robot … Just hasn’t been built yet….but I know she be here within 4 hrs
      Has a witty wicked sense of humour polite considerate and kind does not drink take drugs or smoke…yeah baby!

  • Joe

    I’m betting this was written by a woman writing as a man. If so, stop writing and make me a sammich.

  • Jack20202

    Wow, you guys are complete push overs.

    If any woman “test” you, Walk away. thats it. Your a MAN. You’re the one who is going to be doing most of the work, dealing with most of the stress in any relationship. The only “test” that should be going on is if this woman can act like a woman and hold her end of the marriage. It doesn’t matter how “equal” you think you are, you will ALWAYS be forced into your gender role.

    Any Woman who “nags” you is not trying to make you “step up”. Being insulted is not a form of encouragement. If so then every man who insults his woman’s weight gain, intelligence, and attitude is also helping her “step up” her game, oh wait that only counts for women?

    This article was obviously written by a smuck. You dont “Need” women for anything. you are complete as you are.

    You give men freedom and they create the entire modern society we live in.

    You give women freedom and a entire society already built and they sit around not doing anything but shop, become arrogant and hateful.

  • Cheryl Wilson

    I must admit, with the amount of negativity directed towards women lately, I fully expected this piece to be more of the same. I’m pleasantly surprised, your writing is very insightful and positive, to both genders.

    • Kirk

      Positive to both genders? It basically tells men to put up with women’s crap. If you think it’s fine for women to test men, then men should be able to test women too and women should put up with it. Now that would fair to both genders. But of course, you wouldn’t want that.

      • Cheryl Wilson

        No it doesn’t, it says that sometimes the crap is beneficial, and sometimes it isn’t. You, as a quality person, need to learn the difference, and not always accept or reject as a default position.

        There are lessons in life, you can learn them or not, it’s up to you, but sometimes you have to admit that maybe what you saw in this person you “love” was really just a fiction. It happens to everyone in a free society, there’s no shame in that, but…learn the lesson, or you’re doomed to repeat it.

    • JCH

      Thanks Cheryl. Yeah, there are a lot of angry, frustrated men out there. We try to help them out but looking at these comments, it’s like… wow. Of course, plenty of messed up women as well. The answer is pretty obvious to me: become a great, self-fulfilled person and find someone who’s at your level. Oh well!

      • Cheryl Wilson

        Yes that is true, there are a lot of messed up women. And yes, as a species we are racing towards chaos, but individually we don’t have to participate in that: we can choose more for ourselves. It requires sacrifice, but the reward more than pays for it.

        I appreciate what you’re doing here.

  • Dimebag

    This is a very bad article. Christian is not a real man, he’s just kissing ass. I will start in the order of writing:

    If any human being puts his happiness in another human being it will be a setup for failure and deception. Because it’s really not stable. So, no. Men don’t need women. They need to find their balance on their own. Culturally, intelectually, spiritually, physically, etc.

    Yeah, well… Is a woman’s role to test you. No, false. I test women as well. I need her to be what I want as she needs me to be what she wants. If these wishes are in accordance with what we want for ourselves, then it will be a good relationship. If no, then it won’t. We are not losing any woman of our dreams. We will find another one. As she finds another dude. No problemo…

    A woman’s own growth is mostly her job. Giving you shit is no excuse whatsoever. Women with big insecurities need to be left alone. They have psychological problems. Sucking you in is really bad. It’s not good. You need to get out. Don’t listen to this asshole. He’s telling you shit. Get out of the relationship!!!!

    Men have ups and downs too. Strength test me in a low state and I will get very impulsive. I don’t need a shit test from anybody. I need to live my low state and get out of it by myself. It may take a day or a month. Or a year. It takes how much it takes. I don’t need a push. I’ll push myself out and if I need help, I’ll ask for it.

    I think the framing of this article is very pro-woman. If I’m fighting her i’m actually loosing cause i’m wearing her down?! No sir, that’s false. I do what I want and feel. If it’s not what she wants, that’s her problem. Maybe she is not my match. We can work some things out, but when it’s against my gut feeling, that is not a compromise that I will make.

    In conclusion, women who are difficult and are giving you shit, are doing that cause they are bad bitches. You need to put some strong boundaries and reinforce them. Men who don’t reinforce their boundaries will get sucked in and will be manipulated. Working your ass off for her is not an option. You should remain yourself and be okay with what you are, do only what you love and feel and if you don’t feel like doing it, then don’t. Don’t let anybody, including your girlfriend, tell you what to do. do what you feel is best and don’t listen to others.

    • zambplanb.


  • Jimbradley

    I have the fire back, but she has become vindictive. I’ve made my mistakes and I hear about it every single day!. I told her old problems old year. Never moving past anything. Same fights , although it is different now. She is not interested. I think it’s too late. I just want her back the way we used to be. I was happy then. Went back to school , almost done too. Things are looking good for me. Just worse than ever with us. She has school, work, volunteer , a whole lot. I think it’s stress. I think it’s our age difference 8 years. She wants to party but she loves being a home body. Like I can’t tell her good things about my life without her spinning it on me. I’m at a loss. Love her dearly, but now everything is a fight she doesn’t want to sleep with me because I’m on punishment. Wtf does that mean?

    • gnarlesball.λεπθντ.

      Four things a man must learn to do,
      If he must make his record true;
      To think without confusion clearly.
      To love his fellow man sincerely.
      To act from honest Motives Purely.
      To Trust in God and Heaven securely.

      Let em drop!

  • How True

    Yea your right, but the sad thing is that many women are very Stupid And Stuck up now especially when we will start a Conversation with the one that we would really like to meet. And yet, they will Date the Creepiest Looking Guys that i have ever seen and Reject us. Go Figure.

  • Publius

    Stay single ; stay happy , healthy and wealthy.

    • Jim

      How right you are.

    • b0b hooper

      How true!

  • Can’t believe how dumb you are

    Haha, wow. You want to know what I think? Actually it’s more like what I know. You’re full of it.

    Where did you get some of those statics about a discrepancy in birth ratios causing more violent crimes and rapes? Wait, I know where you got them. Out of your arse.

    Also, having more women around helps men not to commit rape? Thank you for defaming an entire gender. Unless you’re some unhygienic, unsophisticated inbred with no moral compass (which you seem to be) you should be perfectly capable of feeding yourself, maintaining your hygiene and knowing that it’s wrong to commit crimes like rape /without/ needing women to tell you that.

  • John

    sounds like a slippery instruction into being that “biatch” you don’t want to become.
    That’s what I think!

  • Sonya

    RUN don’t walk away from this type of women. I work for one however not after this New Year.

  • Carolina

    Yikes, what is with all the hate towards women. Yes, they’re are certainly some women who behave like bitches, but they’re are also guys who at like assholes too. I also don’t need to test my partner to feel better about myself, although I’m not immune to flattery 😉

    • Carolina

      Also, you may perceive us as stuck up, but try to look at it from our point of view. Imagine if you have been hit on by multiple women, but are just trying to have a good time with your friends. Is it not better to let you down fast (I won’t be rude but I will state that I’m not interested) so you don’t waste your time with us.

  • Al Pha Satori


  • DWDKD3

    It sounds like you just wrote this after having to grovel up to your woman after having a fight and you are too much of a wimp to defend yourself or find a woman who isn’t so bitchy. All this talk about how men have to prove themselves to a woman in different ways than they would prove themselves in any other situation, is total crap. It’s a 2 way street. Both have to be emotionally mature and flexible. not just the man. the thoughts presented above are about putting the man down and keeping him there.

  • Don Dressel

    Women are ungrateful and want want and want! The better you treat them the worse they are! They do what they want despite your feelings and are very disrespectful! Treat them good and they walk all over you treat them bad and they will chase after you!
    Have you ever noticed how many women in their 50s and 60s are looking for a good man? Its because they walked all over good men when they were young!

  • raheel

    If a girl isn’t taking my test i don’t want hers.

  • Bobby

    The problem with modern women is that they want all the perks of being a man without any of the stressful elements. Feminists: “We want equality. Women deserve xyz!” But when push comes to shove at the end of the day women still want a wealthy beta who will let them walk all over them or a “bad boy” type who treats them like crap. Doesn’t make sense.

  • Ann onymous

    I won’t read beyond the title question because at the moment I’m hurting as a woman and can’t understand why any man would ask that! I think you men have NO IDEA how painfilled womanhood is! Being female hurts! How dare you ask why we are difficult! You wouldn’t even consider us if it weren’t for sex! Put yourself in her shoes for a change! Need her for food?? That’s idiotic!! Need her for sex my arse.

    • rmyguy

      Poor you. If it weren’t for sex you’re right, we would have nothing to do with you. Just reading what you wrote just shows how unstable life gets having one of you around. So much energy and time focused into keeping you happy, leaving us little time or energy to make ourselves happy. Keep feeling sorry for yourself and keep waiting for a man to come “make” you happy. Little hint: only you can make yourself happy.

  • Hooch

    Screw that. I’m done with women lol all they ever do is steal from me, cheat on me, lie to me. Its always the same run around.

  • Eric West

    Unbelievable. The male has fallen into the territory of allowing women to crap all over them. Tests are acceptable now? Really? Are you that desperate for sex, guys? Tests are pure female ego. Now, the females don’t tolerate the male ego. Why should we tolerate the female ego? So we can get laid? There are reasonable women out there who don’t test. FIND THEM! and burn this ridiculous idea that testing is somehow appropriate!

    • JCH

      Eric this has NOTHING to do with the “female ego” and everything to do with a GOOD woman being able to discern the TRUTH of who you are.

  • TheBestAnswerOfAll

    Now that Most women these days are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, and very spoiled, Certainly speaks for itself.

  • Insidious Sid

    Valuable comments below. I find that women today (In North America) are BIG trouble and a big headache and relationships have more hoops to jump through and more tests than ever. It seems that women are simply never satisfied now, and I for one have really little interest in this interesting “you can satisfy a woman if you do it right” theory. Well, I am sure you can two-step with an elephant if you do THAT right too. I’m just not interested in something that is SO difficult that really seems to offer so little in return. What do we men REALLY like about female partners besides sex that we can’t get from a decent group of friends and a good loyal dog? To me, relationships these days are based on a power struggle and her ability to manipulate HIM and get away with it. As soon as she can’t manipulate him anymore – bam – there is trouble. I’ve read all this “red pill / man up / take charge” stuff and that if you “be” the man you will be respected, but I don’t buy it. Women have had it pounded into their heads by feminism that we’re all bad, we’re idiots and we need to be opposed and fought at every turn, on every decision. If she confers with her girlfriends, they will all give her “girl power” advice and tell her how right she is to be totally defiant. I’ve just seen so many married men (or men in LTRs) that seem to have most of the life beaten out of them. I don’t know – maybe I lack “character” and didn’t “man up” enough. All I know is that after this divorce… no. No more shacking up. No more marriage. Separate homes and bank accounts or bust. No exceptions. Where is this relationship going? Next level? If the next level is one driveway and one bank account, the answer is NOWHERE. To any man doubting his ability to “make her happily ever after” then split now and count your losses. After you sign up for mortgages, make babies and build equity (and also become dependent on HER income) you will be devastated by divorce. Look, I am all for the “be a solid man” and “be the best you can be” advice. But this says that only people who played video games and didn’t act confident are getting divorced. I worked my “A” off trying to solve SO many problems – and we were SO CLOSE to being at a point where we could function, if nothing else, financially. As soon as she thought she could make it on her own she bolted and found another guy. Okay fine. But now he’s been dumped and she’s $50K in debt after 2 years on her own she is hinting she wants back again. She’s remembering “why she fell in love with me in the first place”. Hahahaha. NOT HAPPENING. Sorry, but I’m not a human wallet I am a human being and I really don’t care how any one woman measures up to her girlfriends. They’re ALL over-rated if you ask me.
    Friends. Sure. Friends with benefits. Even better. I’ll happily pay for it if I need to. But no way – I won’t EVER marry again or cohabitate with a female. I’d rather move a 18 foot python into my house. Much safer.

  • Jesus

    How about when a dude gets original and makes those tests to her instead ? That usually turns out interesting xD

    • Alien

      Smart wun
      Women who are attractive play their games with men mostly to have their egos strocked…if you ignore them some of them just can’t handle it.
      They are used to guys thinking through their dicks it’s just a game for them; so they think they are so smart and the guys are so stupid…it’s easy to understand why.
      There’s a lot of women who want to control guys like little boys…when they are successful they loose respect for the guys….which I can understand.
      Face it it’s simpler to have. Dog.

    • Alien

      Look dude “sex the robots are cuming” and that will fix everything as much sex as u like no periods ( no headaches)…compliant, there to serve no ridiculous demands…I’m going to get one…

  • RandalsonMarquette

    what happens when another mans woman bitches at me while I am at work because I disagree with her and let her know. Is that cool to bro? Since you are so into women psychology and shit I thought I would ask you about that. How is it good for society when you got women who give you nothing but a hard time being forced onto your team. They take jobs from men and they talk shit about everyone behind their backs. Fuck women and fuck you for supporting their childish behavior. Women act the way they act because they are the weaker sex and have learned to be conniving little manipulative whores in order to get their way. They piss and moan when they do not get their way and stomp their feet. They make life a living hell for everyone around them in that scenario. Oh but when they do get their way they flirt and shake their little asses all over the office and make the fat unattractive boss man feel like he is young again and for the first time in his life attractive to the opposite sex. Trust me if you have a male hiring manager and you are competing for the same job with a sexy little piece of T and A forget it, you are out of the running. Look for something else. With more and more women entering the work force more and more men like me are unable to support our little bitches and whiny little brats that we as men do not have the nurture or the patience to handle. This is why women belong at home with your whiny little brat children. Kids give them that power that they crave in life. They can order them around and feel like they have a purpose. They also naturally have that nurture and tenderness that soothes an uncomfortable kid having a tantrum. When they have kids and the financial support to stay at home and raise them they leave their men alone as there is no more power struggle. They make sure the house is clean and food is ready on the table upon the man’s return to his kingdom. They have power over another being, your kids. Let them have that power please and keep them out of my work place. Get your bitch on a leash man.

  • James McEntyre

    This article is a very well thought out piece of how women very well may percieve us(” MEN”) , but to hell with that .If I would have known about it earlier I may have felt some encouragement, t,he thrill is fucking gone .Yeah I love women but I’d rather live by myself for the rest of my life.I don’t need that bullshit in my life anymore it’s been bad enough!!!

  • Reality

    For the women that are very high maintenance, beauty fades.

  • Koenigsegg

    They are called “sh*t tests* and are effortlessly easy to pass. You literally have no response to them. Just look them in the eyes after they say something ridiculous and act like it didnt effect you (and it shouldnt lol)

  • Louis Brooks

    Pretty confident I should just kill myself. Because I don’t contribute enough to humanity to be lucky enough to meet a half decent woman.

    • O’Shen Robinson

      That is the loss hope telling you that, make a habit of praying and talking to God about everything. You dont have any issues that are new to him, he deals with it all. Seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness and he will add everything suffucient to you. Also, he helps you walk through dark times that you cant on your own. Having the Lord is the only reason Im not insane and drunk day and night. Bless you.

  • Fuglyoldprune

    I didn’t shit test my husband and he left me for a woman who does. Insecurity is based on fear that he may leave. It’s a good thing, as if she’s worried you’ll leave she won’t take you for granted. I stupidly trusted my husband would never leave so when he cheated and left it destroyed me. I think he likes his gf moaning about not spending enough time together, he told all his friends I didn’t mind him doing his own thing when I just gave up voicing my dissatisfaction cos it made no difference.

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  • Robert Zingarelli

    This article is pretty stupid. It’s not reasonable at all to impose these “tests” on the man they’re dating. If they want something, something to hear, just ask. It’s not a man’s responsibility to pass these “tests”. Good advice is to run the other way when a woman starts pulling this shit. I’ve dealt with so much shit from women and I just learned to walk away whenever I see things like that. Saves a whole lot of frustration that just leads to nothing anyway.

  • The Dude

    And we gotta thank all those shitbag dads in the world for providing us with such a target rich environment now don’t we.

    • EffinBiatch

      I take it that you’ve come to the internet to admit you are an an abuser looking for a victim?

      It’s not the dads who have done this but the men who seek the weak and take advantage of them that are either born with evil temperaments or have been the victim themselves of some very evil, neglectful and hateful parents.

      If had a good life, you’d never want to harm anyone else. Listen, sex is fucking awesome especially with someone who loves the real you, harming someone or taking advantage of a vulnerable person as you’ve indicated is a reflection of the pain you must have experienced yourself. I hope you get some help. You’ll attract someone much better when you fix up the shit that happened to you. All it takes is to decide you refuse to be a bad person, you refuse to harm the innocent girls who also had a very bad upbringing and you’re right likely because of a terrible dad.

      You’re male, you’ve got this amazing ability to protect those vulnerable girls but it’s your choice. You can follow the PUA sociopaths which wont take the pain away or you can follow your own guidance system. I hope you make a good choice honey and you end up happy yourself with a wonderful girl. Maybe you and her could both dig yourselves out of the obvious pain you’re in both in and come out better for it.

  • EffinBiatch

    So true. My male friends are open with me because I dont judge them and encourage them to cry in private. Men definitely have insecurities. We as a culture should encourage men to vent like we do with women. Half the reason why men blame woman is because they are almost forced to deny their own feelings. Even the neanderthals amongst us have emotions (infact they are the sexiest men on earth – yes I love men – they are all masculine and yet ultra sensitive with me)

    About men not wanting to be with a woman for his finance – definitely not true, I know many particularly my boss who loves women fussing over him because of his success in finance. He loves spending his money on these woman (who look like they could be in porn movies but with sweet personalities).

    Men are magic! Men are fucking awesome and I’m the biggest feminist you’ll ever meet (I didn’t say feminazi).

    • Bongstar420

      Crying in private is another shit test so she knows you will go the extra mile for her

      • Lil Chick

        Crying in private is not for her, it’s for the man to be understood and accepted with his insecurities or sadness.

    • TurtleNeckJoe

      Feminism is hate. Look it up. Former feminist here and I read my French and Abzug and Solanas as a teen so I know what I’m talking about. Don’t try to excuse yourself.

      • Lil Chick

        People who claim they are Feminists and yet just hateful horrible people are actually just pitiful Feminazi’s.

        Feminists are just people who want equality. By the way, females don’t call themselves Joe, they refer themselves as Jo. You’re a male and not one of the awesome ones I spoke about earlier.

        You’re are matched to the feminazis and that’s why you keep meeting them. You’re vibrating at the same frequency as they do. Perfect for one another. Please stay away from nice men and nice women.

  • Ybrik222

    Ugh this article is awful. Not all women are the same. Nor men, for that matter.

  • Brandon

    What a bunch of apologist hogshit.

  • Bongstar420

    Everything that is “attractive” to her necessarily increases the odds of wealth. Just cut to the chase and get money. Most of the time she will dump chad for a buck. You see, your emotional slavery guarantees her material success.

    …and finally, don’t forget, she always wants more. More more more..from you

  • Bongstar420

    The family doesn’t need protecting from a chad in modern civilized world…and she never paid the bills till modern men came onto the scene

  • Christopher C

    Most of them seem ok, but then there’s the whores, the Great Whores and their Americunt daughters that think their pussy don’t stink, ya, it does. Most are liars, cheaters, thieves and killers and the best part – they have no conscience and see nothing wrong with anything they do. They’re WEAK and born sexist and most are pieces of shit as they run around trying to get what they WANT by again, lying, cheating, stealing and killing and let’s not forget the worthless ‘;chalice’ bs they expect – because they have no respect. They wouldn’t be so tired if they knocked that infinity weighted stone off their shitty shoulders and grew up. They’re retards, never invented anything – but prob;ems for all mankind and they are feeble minded and remain children their ‘hole lives’ get it – ‘cuz that’s what they are = they’re parasites, and they’re all the same, they need makeup and perfume because they’re ugly and they stink and they have no morals, manners, values and surely do not have any honor, agency, integrity, respect or empathy and are full of shit – I used to be an ass man, until I realized all women are full of shit. They’re parasites. Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, gee, wonder why, it’s not like they actually work, unless it’s at scamming away thinking they can’t get touched and they play mind games to get everybody else to do it for them. Character, lol, try holes for dick, and that is all. I’m not mad, just know them inside and out and their shit does stink and it’s time to let the whole world know women ain’t shit but hoes and tricks and they can be treated accordingly for the ruination of this world from all the shit they flush down the toilet as they run around desperate competition against each other for their face cream of destiny. They got a fucked up little kid head on there shoulders and are fucking st-st-st-st-stupid but you’re just supposed to deal with it. Right. Personally I say don’t help a fucking cunt one of ’em, soon they’ll all be back in hell right where they came from. Who gives a fuck what they WANT, the bitch is giving you problems, guess what? The next one ain’t no different as they run around $elling their 3 use a$$e$ of self inflicted lazy retardism. Oh, but it’s always a ‘man’s fault’ when their little head games don’t work out and this is where their constant seething anger and jealousy comes in, always worried about being replaced. Why? It’s not like the hooker next door is any different. All they do is lie, they do not actually work and tits aren’t brains, WTF are you boys, guys, men doing being emotionally manipulated and lied to and why the fuck aren’t you calling them on it and letting everybody else know which ones are shit – with a picture of them online?
    Walk away boys and guys, men already know, so much in fact men built the bomb to stop their cunt crap and laugh all the way to Heaven while they return to Hell. Besides, sperm is your brain and back bone in case ya didn’t know… a little fact the girls hate because second place in life – if last fucking place in life. So be it. Why do you think EVERY book warns of the snakes in the grass, the two faced whores and all their little games of bore dumb whore-dumb? Focus on your life, just because they have some fake tits and a pussy don’t mean their fit to breed or raise a kid correctly, they’re shit, they just WANT somebody, anybody, because they’re scared, weak and pathetic. It’s the ‘udder truth’ and you’re supposed to be the guilty one when her retarded lazy little pea brain of parasitic nature doesn’t get what she WANTS, like a little kid, then watch the tempter tantrums start, and their attacks for what they think they deserve that they do nada to earn. And the mangina’s lol, even bigger cunts and pussies running around white knighting thinking they can be captain super save a hoe from herself, shit’s hilarious, it really is. Remember disease loves a dark, warm, moist place to be harbored bred and spread from – and that would be the vagina. Chalice, the way, lol… fucking joke, they’re losers and parasites. $20.00 and your in – hookers! I went my own way decades ago and just let them pass their asses around and I pass on the scabs and dirty whores, thing is, they’re all dirty whores that deserve and earn nothing. Stupid fucks become teachers and son’t know anything about anything so all they can do is repeat shit, hilarious. And they’re ‘teachers’. Nope, sadly they’re drug addicts as they chase around their fuzzy fuqtarded ‘feelings’ and excuses as they destroy the world and nobody does nada about any of it. So they thought. Sex and The City – Life as A Human Toilet… Wonder how that worked out for them, eh? and then there’s the mangina’s that are even bigger pussies, fucking pathetic. Sound rough? Just wait till I get mad.
    Then you’ll see the real show begin, matter of fact, I’m writing the last chapter of humanity as I type this here. Human garbage is all most them are. Stupid is all of them and remember, no bitch nowhere ever does anything, and that’s her objective, to lay around, get fat, pop out an insurance policy or two and three and get you to slave away while they still run around and sneak fuck anything they can shove up there holes and then lie as usual. All they have is their self deluded little experience opinions and they sure as shit ain’t gonna never learn nothing. “V”again, lol, two faced game playing lying, cheating, loser parasites off all mankind. Why even bother, just holes for dick desperately looking for somebody else to do it for them. I say let them die off, too many cunts as it is – and they can take their faggot boys with them.. Hair spray ruined the atmosphere the rest got flushed down the toilet, just like them. Do your thing boys, guys men, she’s just going to fuck anything she can stick up there, and that is the udder truth.
    The vagina is a muscle, it expands and contracts, their whole nature is sex, sex, sex, sex and they are driven to compete against each other and the girly boys are just like them just with different tools. shit’s PATHETIC, it really is. I say eject them from society and let’s have some fucking peace and quiet for once instead of a billion of 4 chatterboxes running around too lazy to actually inform themselves, and then, we’ll all flip ’em a nickle, ‘cuz that’s about all any of them are really worth. They’er parasites. Stupid little parasites and y’all fell for it. Retards.
    Ya need some help understanding the? LQQK at them as they children they are and realize, it’s not your job to bust your ass, raise a family AND your wife. Do not ever get married, it’s merely legal prostitution with an endless price to pay. Just desperate holes for dick. Treat them as such. ‘Cuz when ya catch her doing something, you probably aren’t talking shit to get others to beat her up, now are ya? Like I stated, LITTLE KIDS… on lazy little girl guilt trips. How ya like ‘dem apples’ whores? Now go build something men, the girls only destroy for attention and there’s no reason to even think twice about what I’ve typed. You all know it’;s so very true. Fuck their opinions, they should learn to be informed. Meh, whores can’t learn, they just want to fuck. So fuck ’em, after all, it’s their job in life. : ) Take care, and fuck the parasites. Y’all better learn to identify FAST. And make her work for you, force them to agency constantly. If they’re going to sit around getting fat, better put the lazy ass to actual work and help keep her fit, because they’r the cause off all sorts of things, they just WANT… to blame… YOU. And never, ever save a whore from herself, that’s where y’all gong wrong, see, females do not care, they’re actually incapable, all they got is lies and whatever they can pull over you. LoL! A buy cycle shelf life as they race towards the windshield is hilarious ain’t it? SPLAT. I advise you trade ’em in at YOUR leisure. After all again, their greatest fear is being replaces which is why they always have another and another and another lied up so they can play their ‘options’ and fuck the world like they have been since the dawn of mankind. NEVER, save a whore from herself, that’s how ya go to jail = WALK AWAY… like right now. You’ll thank yourself later guaranteed. All hookers, and all Johns. Better wake the fuck up humanity. Because I’m typing the last chapter. : )

    • Lisa Bernstein

      do you believe anybody ever reads your short stories? CHRISTOPHER! NOBODY IS READING YOUR LONG WINDED POSTS….NOBODY!

      • AizenSamaKing X

        Actually,I just read it and I enjoyed it. ^____^

      • JCH

        Hi Lisa, please let me correct you: according to our web stats, about a thousand people a day read this particular article. Also, my name is Christian, not Christopher. Best of luck with love and life.

  • Arvind G Balasubramaniam

    There’s a difference between a “shit test” and “abuse”. Women hardly know the difference. If a woman is giving you too much of a hard time, send her packing. You know what’s meant to give you a hard time? The world. Your woman is meant to provide emotional support and a sanctuary. Sure, if you’re slacking you deserve to get a word of advice from your friends including your woman, but most guys confuse shitty behavior for shit tests. Don’t be that guy.

  • George Derouen

    What a cop out. Women’s tendency to be rude, pushy, and unfair is often because she is an out of control harpy getting her way and reveling in a very one sided relationship.. Intimate or otherwise. Best of luck out there gentlemen.

  • tee

    now i do physically and mentally demanding labor for work and long hours sometimes , when i come home i am tired and hungry . when me and my fiancee first met i wasn’t working and could give a lot of my time , interest and attention , Now i work really hard and am hungry and exhausted when i come home i like to relax , clear my head and eat . After i eat and my stomach is filled my fiancee wants to be intimate , i ask her to wait until my food digests and boy do i get grief and i get falsely accused of cheating , second when ever my fiancee gets upset at me she is very verbally disrespectful and says things that turn me off and she just doesn’t understand this no matter how much i tell her and she is always using our relationship as a bargaining tool which is not right . how ever many a time i have eaten and relaxed for a few showered and come to her for loving and she tells me that she is sleeping , i love this woman with all of heart and soul and i try to reason with her but its very hard to get her to understand me because she doesn’t even try to see my side of the discussion or my point of view . what do i do ???

  • milwaukeegregg

    Who gives a shit what they want? Once you hit that point and quit chasing your cock you OWN THEM………….It’s not about women it’s about men and our lustful desires… Control starts with you…………

  • Robert Jones

    Fuck all that shit… I guess I’ll just be single forever… Big whoop. Back to the books I go…. Off to the bank I go… Whatever the case, it won’t be with anyone that pulls that kinda shit. I don’t have time for it, nor will I put up with it.

    “He must be this, and that… and secure and rich… and this… and that”, while she is none of the above…

    No fkg thank you.

  • JC

    This should be written in stone, in extremely large font, on the side of a large mountain.
    This has to be the most specific, to the point, and true description of female psychology I have read online…and I have read A LOT.
    Trying to figure out women was one of Einstein’s problems he confessed he could never solve. This is very valuable information. SAVED. I will refer to it when she “gives me shit…..tests”.

    Thank you

  • fortyminstofive

    So you have to jump through fucking hoops just to prove you’re good enough? No. She can prove her worth to me. She can start by not playing fucking mind games.

  • Michael Anderson

    That chick in the gif was thisclose to blowing her brains out–and it wouldn’t have mattered.

  • Rompe himen

    women are so fucking complicated and so soul-leeching it isn’t even worth to be in a relationship. I have been in 5 official relationships, is not that they sucked bad the bad part is too bad to handle. Maybe I just need a dog and meet non-loving women on tinder and I’ll be fine

  • Truth Is

    Thank God that most of the women years ago were normal compared to today.

  • Kenneth Schmidt

    The author of this piece is a total cuck. If we spend our entire lives taking nonsense and insults from females, then what’s the use? Nobody’s perfect but If women want male companionship then they should reconcile themselves to treat men like human beings, not doormats.

  • Anthony Mastrandrea

    I do not think men should have to perform all the magic for women to get what they want. Women have only open voids in their brains and vaginas. Why should men feel obligated to fill their emptiness

  • Research

    Tests….they can screw off…their tests of treating someone like garbage… No… I was brought up to be kind and respectful… Especially to the people I love… Someone treats me like shit…I tell them to get the hell out of my life… Regardless of being a friend or girlfriend… I have self respect… Said girlfriend treats me badly… That’s abuse, and I don’t need that… No one does….double standard here…but a man treats a woman harshly and he’s a monster…an abusive individual… A woman does the same and that’s a test… I call bullshit.

  • Robert Talbot

    Or maybe she is just plain batshit crazy, and the best thing for everyone is to have her our of your lives to at least the children have peace of mind when they are with their father. I’m living proof. The kids are scared, miserable, and hate going to their mothers. One thing I can say is we have created a princess spoiled brat female society, and when they don’t get what they want they make everyone miserable. There’s a difference between an “Ego” and sticking up for children that can’t fend, or speak up for themselves. Most men these days are doormats to a feminist agenda, and will smile while being walked all over. Great example to show the children. smh

  • Wolfwolveswolf

    A Man will never be anything more to women than a temporary means to something, and of which is a truth that all Men must face the truth of at some point in their life, or go on to kid himself!

  • AugustineThomas

    The real title of this article: “How to be a beta and get cheated on by your emotionally immature wife”

  • TurtleNeckJoe

    What a bunch of mangina blue pill crud this article was. Shit-testing is OK? Heck, no. The male awakening is here and it is good to read some.of the comments below here. Love how we guys are communicating our experiences and no matter what women do they just can’t get it right. Damned if they do (continue the way they did) and damned if they don’t (pretend to be traditional women).

  • I have no idea why I suffered through 2 seconds of this asinine anecdotal pseudo-scientific piece of garbage. I have to tell you, as a clinical psychologist, I am so tired of the pop psychology broadcasted for all the see on these blogs. This said, here’s all I ask. If you’re not a mechanic you don’t give advice on how to rebuild an engine right? Okay the same goes for psychology. Maybe women in your life are difficult because you make idiotic generalizations which hold no merit in the world of the social sciences. Just say I hate women and here’s why. Simple. Not sure if you ever made it to college or anywhere in the professional world but I think you know what opinions are like.

    • JCH

      Hmmm well… I’m married to a beautiful women, own a few businesses that make millions of dollars a year, and spend a lot of time surfing and traveling. My thoughts and opinions seem to have worked out well for me, even if you think they stink. So Jay, next time you spend more time leaving a comment than you do reading an article, maybe attack the ideas and not the person behind them?

      p.s. university of michigan graduate, class of ’07.

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