Attraction is relative and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so placing a numerical value on a woman’s aesthetic can only mean so much.
However, when we think of beautiful women, we think of nine’s and ten’s. And every man individually has an idea of what a nine or a ten looks and acts like in his own mind.
Maybe a ten to you is a fan girl who rivals your Star Wars trivia knowledge. Or a nine is possibly someone who can rap your favorite rapper’s lyrics with you line for line.
The point is that there are levels to the dating scene and while ideally, you want every romantic juncture to be with someone you think the world of, there are partners we attract and relationships we enter that are top shelf — who, across the board, have significantly more attributes than anyone else.
So what do we do when we land a nine or a ten? What happens when you shoot for the stars and actually end up reeling one in?
A lot of men lose composure once they’re in a relationship with a woman they think highly of.
The confidence it took to ask for her number, carry out a conversation and make her laugh, turns into doubt once she’s asleep beside them at night.
Before you know it, overthinking begins and what’s supposed to be the happiest moment in your life with the girl of your dreams turns into a never ending cycle of overcompensation.
It’s not too farfetched, either. Being with someone that everyone compliments and congratulates you for when you’re not used to that type of attention can make you second guess yourself.
Your normal thought process and the way you’d usually navigate a relationship can easily change when you don’t think you’re good enough, which is exactly what you don’t want to do.
Luckily there are seven pillars The Social Man’s Christain Hudson has developed that will ensure that you handle every nine, ten and beyond in a way that won’t have you overreacting. And it all starts with jealousy.
Never Be Too Jealous
The first thing to keep in mind when dating a nine or a ten is that they are a nine or a ten to you for a reason.
They have redeemable qualities that separate them from the pack and you must come to terms with that. This means that you won’t always be the star.
You have to allow them to glow. Let them be funnier than you. Let them be drop dead gorgeous. Let their light shine.
Instead of being intimidated by their talent or even jealous at the attention they are getting, accept and support them instead.
The more jealous you get, the more you show her that you can’t handle her beauty. You have to take it all in stride, and reign in any jealous impulses.
Remind yourself that it all comes with the territory.
Establish Boundaries and Expectations
Let’s face it, drop-dead gorgeous girls get what they want, even when they’re not asking for it. It’s not really their fault, either. Like Beyonce says, girls run the world.
Because this is so, it very well may be the case that she has always had her way in relationships dating back to her immediate family from home.
That is why it’s important to set boundaries and expectations.
When you’re dating a nine or ten it’s important not to break down when she resorts to her puppy-dog frown and cute temper tantrums.
Keep the same standards for yourself with whoever you’re with that you would in any other relationship you enter, no matter how attractive they are.
Use Materialism Carefully
Beautiful women are used to receiving free gifts and offers.
It’s almost as if every man on earth was mailed the same manual on talking to attractive women and stopped on the chapter about buying gifts.
Contrary to that manual, do not buy her favor. Beautiful women know they are beautiful and will easily pick up on what you’re doing. Don’t overspend – if you go into debt for a girl, it’s not good.
Now, at the same time, you don’t want to avoid purchasing her gifts. Not only because she deserves it but because giving is a love language and it’s a way for you to express your heart as well.
What you want to do is evaluate your heart when you give gifts. Make sure when you’re giving gifts you’re not doing so to keep her or to win her but to show her you care.
Keep Things Exciting & Challenging
When you have a beautiful woman you should know and treat her as such. Meaning try your best to have as many unique experiences with her as possible.
Before saying yes to you she’s probably had the same types of dates with the same offers and the same “can I come up?” or “would you like to stay over?” offer at the end.
Which is why you should try to think of something outside the box. It doesn’t have to be expensive – just a new experience. For example…
- hole in the wall restaurant
- drinking games with friends
- hiking, bowling, a park she’s never been to
- classes together i.e scuba certification, cooking, massage
Try and find life activities that you’ve always wanted to do rather than typical date ideas.
Show her a side of life through a perspective only you can provide. That will keep her on her toes.
Encourage Her Growth
Nines and ten’s will have many opportunities thrown at them. If you stand in the way of them, they will resent you and eventually leave you.
Your job is to get behind and support. Not only because they’ll appreciate it, but also because you genuinely support and want to see them do well.
If you can help her with something, all the better. Show up to her events, listen to how her day was, give her your attention.
These are the things that will make her see you differently than anyone else she’s dated.
Other guys get so caught up in the beauty of their girl that it hinders their support.
In worry of everyone else and their probable advances, guys will hem their spouse’s wings, saying no to modeling gigs or different networking opportunities in fear of something that would happen with or without their interference anyway.
When you have a beautiful woman, support her. Don’t hold her back.
Emotional honesty presents itself as an opportunity when you’re dating a beautiful woman more so than it does in any other relationship.
There will be times you feel jealous, insecure, concerned, or upset. Your job isn’t to be emotional, but to be emotionally honest.
Tell her what you’re feeling, when you’re feeling it and if the problem still exists after discussing it.
Although it’s a very vulnerable state to be in, she’ll trust you more and it will allow you guys to get to the bottom of an issue before it grows.
Beautiful women are used to superlatives. That means your usual go-to’s like stunning, gorgeous, ravishing or sexy, hot, beautiful must be used at a minimum.
Beautiful women want to be more than how they look. They offer more than how you see them so letting them know that is important.
Instead, use diminutive compliments more regularly (cute, adorable, sweet). Activities and interests become cute and sweet.
Her interest in puppies is adorable. Also, make it a point to comment on what she does, her achievements and things she finds value in, rather than what she has on.
If you keep these rules in mind, the next time you find yourself in a relationship with someone everyone thinks is out of your league, you’ll fit right in.