Well, can you create chemistry in a relationship? And when would you want to?
Take this scenario: You’ve been out on a few dates with a girl; you like her well enough, everything makes sense on paper, but there just doesn’t seem to be that spark. What can you do to change that?
Turns out, there’s plenty you can do.
Now to clarify, there is no love potion that I’m aware of (if there is, by all means, let us know in the comments), but if you know a little psychology, you can have the next best thing. Let’s investigate how you can create chemistry.
Do not underestimate the power of a first date
Firsts are important, and they define much of how we feel about someone and how that someone feels about us. First kiss, first time embarrassing yourself in front of her, first time saying, “I love you.”
The first date is the firstiest first thing.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology concluded that experiences that produced fear and anxiety heightened the bond and sexual chemistry between people who had these experiences together.
The study was aptly titled “Some Evidence for Heightened Sexual Attraction Under Conditions of High Anxiety.”
Simply put, you are more likely to develop that spark if your first date has an element of fear or danger to it.
No, that does not mean you put on a mask and scare her – but maybe that means you see a scary movie or do some rock climbing–the point is that if you can have a mutual experience that produces a little fear, it could spark attraction.
Oxytocin: create chemistry with the love hormone
Oxytocin is a powerful hormone that is released in men and women when they orgasm. That’s right, we’re not messing around here. Also important about oxytocin – it’s released when people hug or kiss or cuddle or play with their favorite dog. In short, this chemical gives you all of the feels.
If you can consistently produce this hormone in a woman’s brain, she’ll no doubt have positive feelings about you.
Now, there is such a thing as Oxytocin spray (it’s a nasal spray), but we’re here to do this legitimately. Any dude that has to resort to a nasal spray to get his date to like him is no good in my book.
So, focus on the things you can control. Positive social interactions can trigger this chemical, so make eye contact with her, listen to her, and touch her to create chemistry.
On the flip side, what you do independently of her can also make a huge impact. Showing compassion for others, for example, can trigger oxytocin in her brain.
While you might not get the opportunity to save a stranger from drowning, the little things can mean a lot, too. Open doors for other people or be kind to the employees at the restaurant or bar.
These small acts can help trigger oxytocin and create valuable chemistry between you.
Let’s get one thing straight, chemistry is a temporary thing.
It comes on strong, intoxicates both of you, but eventually leaves later in the relationship. Think about it: How many times have you seen a couple fall madly into love within weeks only to hate each other’s guts a year later?
Often times, that’s chemistry without compatibility. Once the chemistry wears off, there’s nothing left.
Keep this example in mind as you embark on your journey of chemistry-creating, and make sure you aren’t being shortsighted with your newfound powers.