When you first meet a girl, there’s almost no way to know how things are going to turn out between the two of you.
On a first date, generally, you’re getting a version of someone that is filtered and designed to make a good impression.
Very seldom does a girl or a guy actually come out and show their crazy side right away. The façade could even last months into a relationship, whether it be exclusive or just sexual.
The fact is, a girl can only keep up that kind of charade for so long until it gets exhausting and she shows you who she really is.
Hey, sometimes her true personality is even more likable and fun than the persona she adopted on your first date, but occasionally, when you see her true colors, you may find that they aren’t so bright.
She may have been waiting all this time just to bring up a whole host of personal issues and emotional baggage that, when you first met, hadn’t even been mentioned.
Maybe she’s broke, can’t pay her rent, or maybe she has a stalker ex-boyfriend that she still kinda loves but also hates that she never told you about.
It could even be something even worse like she’s on the run from the law and needs to borrow $5000 dollars.
Okay, that’s a bit extreme, but the point here is that you don’t really know a person until you’ve dated them for a while. It’s at this critical juncture that you have to make a decision.
Do you stick around and try to make it work because her bedroom game is off the charts, or do you give her the boot and find someone a little bit more stable? That’s a decision you, and you alone can make, but the way you go about it is crucial.
The first thing you need to do is be honest with yourself. Every guy, at some point, has found himself in a situation where he kept seeing a girl just because she was really hot and the sex was out of this world.
It happens, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but eventually, you have to decide if the benefits outweigh the costs.
Is good sex worth spending time with someone who you otherwise can’t stand? In most cases, no, it isn’t, and as much as it’s gonna suck to go through a dry spell where you’re trying to meet a new chick, a clean break needs to happen.
You’ll have to head back out into the bar scene, and in the beginning, you’ll probably feel like no chick will measure up to the one you just cut loose.
Just give it time, and the drought will end when you meet a new chick to keep you company.
It takes an objective point of view to determine whether or not a girl is worth keeping around. You have to assess the situation as if you were an outsider looking in.
No girl is going to be perfect, but deciding whether or not you want to keep her in your life, is a true, cost-benefit analysis. If this sounds too cold or robotic, just know that girls do this all the time.
Girls constantly take things like looks, ability to provide and personality into account when deciding to stay with a man.
The truth is that, in some cases, a big bank account could outweigh a shitty personality, or a good personality could compensate for a less-than-perfect physique.
Cost-benefit analysis: it’s at the heart of most early decisions about relationships. Period.
Now, onto the next step. Now that you’ve made up your mind, it’s time to have the big conversation. Even if you aren’t crazy about someone, it still sucks to have to give them the walking papers, but it needs to be done.
The way you go about it really depends on the seriousness of the relationship.
If you’ve been with someone for a year and want to end things, it’s probably not good form to shoot a text saying: don’t want to see u anymore, thanx for the sex, tho, lol.
Set up a time to meet in person, and say what’s on your mind without intentionally hurting her feelings. She might not have been the right one for you, but there’s no reason to make her feel bad about it.
On the contrary, if you’ve just been sleeping with someone, and things haven’t progressed much further, a phone call or a text will do just fine.
The entire nature of the relationship was non-serious, and therefore, neither of you owes each other much in the way of an explanation when it’s time to bring it to an end.
However, in both cases, it’s your job to be honest, while also keeping in mind that it’s never okay to burn a bridge.
People talk, especially girls, and you’d be surprised at who knows who, so don’t give yourself a reputation as the guy who suddenly ghosts girls he’s been seeing.
It’ll hurt your chances next time you meet a new girl, and she realizes that you’re the guy who disappeared without a trace from her friend’s life.
No relationship is perfect, but when the scale tips too far in the direction of unhappiness, you need to take action.
The only thing worse than a bad relationship is staying in one because you’re afraid to end it.
The older you get, the more you have to realize that, while good sex and physical attraction is important, it’s one part of a much bigger puzzle.
Ideally, you want someone who you have a strong physical attraction to, but the reality is that a relationship involves a lot more.
It takes honesty with oneself to determine if it’s going to work.
Be attentive and try to figure out who she really is before it’s too late and you can’t find a way out.
And when you do decide it’s time to call it quits, be respectful.
Leave off on good terms, and in some cosmic, karmic way, it may just come back to you.