How To Land A Threesome? “Ask A Bi Girl” Has The Answers

What’s the most convenient way to get a threesome?
Convenient, I feel, is the operative word here.
I think most guys find this difficult because they’re coming at it from the wrong angle (heh). A lot of times, the problem is simply a mismatched partnership; the sexually adventurous partner is trying to transform a through and through vanilla girl (or guy) into something that they’re not.
Not into dudes? Could you imagine anything your partner could do or say to convince you into it? No? Well, some women are like that too.
Is it possible to turn a vanilla girl into a kinkster? Yes, but it’s rare. Some people have a natural curiosity for sexual adventure from a young age, and some people develop a taste for it later–usually through a careful and considerate introduction from a more adventurous partner. (How to make this introduction, though, will have to be featured in a separate blog because this process is usually not *as* convenient.)
So, after all of that, what is the most convenient way to land a threesome?
Pay for it.
Second most convenient way? FIND A LADY WHO IS ALREADY INTO THREESOMES.
The internet has made this super easy. You can filter people’s preferences and proclivities on most dating websites now.
My advice is to start your search for bisexual, non-monogamous women. No, not all bisexual women are into threesomes. And no, not all non-monogamous women are into threesomes. And yes, some straight women will have threesomes. BUT this is the best, most convenient place to start.
Look for clues and keywords in her profile. Look at how she answers her match questions, which you can also filter by ‘about sex’ on OkCupid.

SIDE NOTE: If you take nothing else away from this article, please, please listen to this: you gotta stop with the Hail Marys on dating apps regardless of whether you’re looking for threesomes or a hookup. You gotta play the game, guys. Okay, so maybe your friend’s brother’s cousin messaged “Wanna bang?” and it totally worked. But 99 times out of 100, it’s not going to AND you might be ruining your chances with someone who would’ve been down if you had only approached it differently.

Another great resource for meeting people who are already down is FetLife. It will connect you to all different varieties of kinky people in your community. There are meet up groups and events that you can become a regular at. In my experience, I’ve found that these groups are really, really welcoming. I’ve met people of all walks of life through these channels. Also, don’t feel like you have to be super experienced in the kink scene to go. As I said, these folks are generally very welcoming, and very open to those who are new or just kink-curious.
So, congratulations, you found a lady online who seems to be down and wants to go out with you. Now what?
Date her. Talk to her. See if you two have any sexual chemistry before bringing a third into the picture.
EVENTUALLY, as you two start dating, the topic of sex will come up. Talk about it. Throw it on the table. Ask what she’s into. Tell her what you’re into. Likes, dislikes, boundaries, experiences, etc. Through those natural conversations you’ll see if she would be up for the kind of adventure you’re into. And if not? No hard feelings. Date other people. Sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for recognizing this. If you can’t imagine your life without that kind of sexual adventure, it’s okay to prioritize it when you’re looking for a partner.
In fact, that’s exactly what I did. When I realized I would never be happy in a vanilla, monogamous relationship, I stopped going on dates with vanilla, monogamous people. I didn’t even want to give myself a chance to fall for someone who I already knew was fundamentally incompatible with me from the start.
EVENTUALLY, after you two have been dating for a while, after y’all are comfortable with each other (whether you are in a committed relationship or not), the urge to explore will naturally occur, and you’ll already have a partner who’s on the same page. (How convenient!)
At this point, she should take the reins for the search for the third because 1) If she’s in control, she’ll feel more comfortable with this girl and, thus, less likely to back out and less likely for drama to happen and 2) the third party will often be more receptive if they are approached by another woman.
Where do you find this third? At a bar? Online? One of her friends? It depends on what you two are most comfortable with. There is a website dedicated to connecting people in open relationships, which would be a good place to start, along with combing through the connections you’ve made in your local sex positive meet up groups.
TL;DR
What’s the most convenient way to land a threesome?

• Find a lady who is already down
• DON’T PROPOSE THIS SCENARIO TOO SOON, AND FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING ESPECIALLY NOT IN THE FIRST MESSAGE
• Let her take the reins when it comes time to find a third

Still doesn’t seem convenient? Well, it’s not really. But, all the good things in life are worth waiting and working for, am I right?
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