“Ask a Bi Girl” Shows You How to Turn Up The Heat Long Distance
So I have gone through the Girlfriend Activation System. Lol and a lot of good stuff. My only question is now is about the situation I’m in at the moment. I met this girl a while ago, but I think it could work. My problem is she lives 2 hours away and she doesn’t have a phone. Right now I only have contact via Facebook, so I’m trying to apply the GFAS to my current situation. Any thoughts?
There’s tons of great advice in the Girlfriend Activation System that could work even if the girl you’re after lives long distance.
In this case, I think the three most important things to focus on would be:
1) How to use your Facebook profile to your advantage
2) How to flirt and build a rapport with her over text/messenger/email
3) How to create opportunities to see her face to face
Use Your Facebook Profile to Your Advantage
You likely won’t have as many opportunities to spend hanging out and talking as you would if you were living in the same area, so you need to find other ways for her to get to know you, the best you. Consider your social media profile as an opportunity to show her who you are.
A major tenant of The Girlfriend Activation System is about creating value—being or becoming the man that women want to be with.
Christian, founder of the Girlfriend Activation System and benevolent leader of The Social Man, talks about ways to 1) become a man of value and 2) how to convey to women that you are this man. In the videos, he focuses on ways to do this in person, but the basic principles can be translated to social media as well.
Ask yourself: Who am I, and does my social media profile reflect that? If your friends are important to you, share pictures of you hanging out with your friends. If you are a rock climbing enthusiast, post videos of your climb. If there’s a charity that you really care about, share their posts.
If you’re a family man at heart, but all of your pictures are of you getting white-girl-wasted, she’d never know.
A good rule of thumb Christian lays out (and I agree) is to try to live a life of balance: half fun and half responsibility.
This may translate into sharing pictures of you going out and having a good time with friends, and also sharing parts of your life that demonstrate that you are well rounded and have your shit together.
An important note: Social media is about sharing your life with the people in your world. This isn’t about photoshopping yourself into vacation pictures that you never went on. You should be displaying the real you. And if your real life isn’t post worthy? Then this is a call to make it so.
Build a Rapport With Her Over Text/Messenger/Email
For interactions in long distance relationships, I think How2TxtHer should be the next series to check out.
It could just as easily be titled “How2FBMessageHer.” This series goes into depth about how to create a fun, flirtatious rapport with women when you’re not face to face.
One of my favorite pieces of advice from this series boils down to this:
Speak her language. Everyone has a different style and comfort level at which they relate to people. Notice how she’s interacts with you and relate to her on her level.
Does she wait a few hours to respond? Maybe she interprets quick responses as over-eager. Match her pace.
Does she respond quickly? Maybe she thinks people who always wait long periods of time to message back are too busy or playing games. Again, match her pace.
Does she use lots or emojis and text speak?
Does she use punctuation and correct grammar?
Does she send pictures? Text in the morning? Late night? Match, match, match, match, match.
Again, this isn’t about changing who you are, but demonstrating that you are socially aware. As social creatures, we often do this subconsciously to create solidarity within groups. It’s natural, and it’s likely that she’ll be picking up on how you relate to people too and—either consciously or subconsciously—make similar adjustments.
Create Reasons For Her to Visit
Another one of my favorite tips from Christian is:
“Bring her into your life with the fun things you’re already doing.”
Plan a fun event with enough stimulation and action to guarantee a good time, and then invite her along.
Don’t design the event for her, but keep her in mind. (In other words, if you know that she hates baseball, don’t make the event a baseball game.)
And don’t overlook the fact that this is supposed to be fun that you’re already doing.
I’m a big advocate of this advice in the getting-to-know-you stages (whether you’re interested in someone long distance or not) for two reasons:
1) There’s a higher likelihood that she’ll have a good time. There’s nothing wrong with a dinner date, but it can be high-pressure (keeping the conversation going), and boring. I don’t know why more people don’t schedule dates with the fun practically built in. It’s as close as you can get to a fail safe evening, and she’ll also start to associate you with fun and excitement.
2) It’s casual. If you invite her to do something one-on-one, she’ll be more likely to read it as a date; if she’s not sure how she feels about you yet, you’ll more be more likely to face a rejection. Group invites are don’t have to be read as a date, so even if she isn’t sure yet if she’s interested in you as ‘more than friends.’ It’ll give you time to charm her without putting pressure on you or her.
And for our readers who are trying to make the connection long distance, inviting her to a fun event will give her more incentive to make the trip. Maaaybe she wouldn’t be willing to drive two hours to just hang out with you (yet), but she might be willing to drive two hours to go with you and your buddies to see one of her favorite bands play.