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Always Keep It Interesting: Why The Courtship Phase Never Ends

Always Keep It Interesting: Why The Courtship Phase Never Ends

BY Christopher Gramuglia

Always Keep It Interesting: Why The Courtship Phase Never Ends

When it comes to romance, nature has stacked the odds against us. Even the most loyal people, will still occasionally look over their shoulder to what else is out there—it’s how people are built.

In pretty much every aspect of their lives, human beings seek novelty and tend to get bored easily and the way we view our significant others is no exception.

The way a girl feels about you the first night you meet her, usually isn’t the same way she feels about you weeks or even months later. That’s why it’s important to note that the act of seduction, never truly ends.

Men are guilty of having a wandering eye too, no surprise there, but the fact that women have way more opportunities to meet members of the opposite sex than men do, means that the temptation to be led astray is all the more prevalent. But being approached constantly is only part of the equation.

Dating a complacent man, who gave up trying to be exciting, fun or charming after the first month, is probably the biggest reason that women begin to seek novelty in the form of companionship, orgasms or otherwise, in the arms of someone new.

Courtship never ends. Repeat it like a mantra. Whether you’re in the first few months of a new relationship or you’ve been dating for two years and everyone’s looking at you wondering you haven’t put a ring on her yet, you have behave as if it’s the first night you met her.

Treat her as if you’re seeing her for the first time, and remember how it felt when she stood out among all the other people in that bar. Never get comfortable or complacent with your woman, and she’ll never have a reason to look elsewhere for what she wants.

Realistically, things will inevitably change. You may have reached a point where you think that you’re inseparable, and no amount of Xbox marathons, or lazy date ideas will turn her off to you. Be careful of this idea. It’s healthy to be comfortable around your girl, but it needs to be tantamount to maintaining her interest.

Flirting, for example, isn’t just a strategy that you should use to get a girl to sleep with you. It’s something that should never stop, and should carry over when the two of you have decided to make it legit and be Facebook official.

There is no better sign than when a girl, in an endearing way, says, “You’re such an asshole,” before planting a kiss on your cheek. It means there’s still excitement between the two of you, and that you’re still making things fun by teasing her, or avoiding the trap of thinking that the fun stuff is over.

Believe it or not, a bad sign is when there’s no banter, or no heightened emotions. A passionate fight between a guy and girl, is actually better than a relationship where the vibe is perpetually lukewarm. This doesn’t mean starting fights for no reason is a good idea, but a little intensity is better than none at all.

Think about the last time you approached a girl with some attitude. You probably went over, said something, and she came back at you with a witty or sarcastic (but playful) comeback.

Then if you’re game was good, you reciprocated, and the dynamic started getting exciting. This is the nature of any good first encounter.

Banter, teasing, flirting: it makes romance exciting. Guys have a bad tendency to think that once they’ve gotten laid, all of these strategies are no longer necessary.

For the average one-night-stander, that is true. But if you ever want to have a girlfriend, or be in a gratifying relationship, you have to continually think of ways to keep things fun, passionate and above all else rare.

Making her think that not even a new guy can provide her with the laughs, the sex, or the unpredictable, spontaneous nature of your relationship, means that when she gets hit on by other guys, she’ll probably just look the other way.

It really does boil down to competition, and it’s always been that way. Society tells us to be monogamous, but nature is like a little devil on our shoulder, constantly badgering us to see what’s around the corner.

In every animal species, there exists intersexual competition, or the kind of competition between males for the attention of a female. She then ultimately has to choose. Marriage or a relationship is a promise, but our instincts still linger in the background.

Other guys, even if they know she’s with you, may still try and sway her by trying to provide her with something they believe you can’t. It’s not something people like to talk about, but it does happen.

It’s a lot harder for a guy to feel guilty about trying to hook up with your girl if he’s never met you, and you aren’t around.

That is why courtship never stops. It starts when you meet her, and keeps going until you either part ways or decide you’re in it for the long haul. The second you start putting less effort into your relationship or believe that she’ll stick around no matter what you do, is the same second you start losing her.

It’s not all about competing with other man, either. Keeping the seduction going, and finding new ways to keep her interested, also just makes relationships more fun.

Knowing that you’re getting through to a woman the first time you meet her, and getting her to find you attractive, is one of the most adrenaline-pumping, rewarding feelings a guy can have, so why should it have to stop just because you’ve seen her without makeup?

Walk over to her every day, and pick her up as if getting her phone number (even though you already have it) is as thrilling as the first time you did it.

She’ll thank you for it, and your relationship will stand the test of time.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a personal trainer and graduate student of creative writing. He recently completed writing a fantasy novel that he hopes to turn into a trilogy, but also writes about topics like dating, fitness and what it means to be a man in the twenty-first century.

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