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Why Women Ignore Your Tinder Messages (And What to Do About It)

Why Women Ignore Your Tinder Messages (And What to Do About It)

BY Judith Villarreal

Why Women Ignore Your Tinder Messages (And What to Do About It)

The days of sending a casual “Sup, girl?” on dating apps have come to an end.

texting

Before dating online became mainstream, starting conversations wasn’t all that hard – because no one really knew how to do it.

But, now that more and more millenials are turning to apps like Tinder, Match, and OkCupid to find romance, the rules have changed. Things are a little more complicated than they once were in the online dating world.

There’s unspoken rules and etiquette now that you need to learn if you want to actually make connections with women online.

Yes, your profile biography, pictures, and stats are extremely important in attracting the opposite sex, but even more important than that is the initial message you send to women you’re interested in pursuing.

This initial message is where so many guys go wrong. You only have one shot at this – seriously, just one, because if she doesn’t respond to the first, she’s not going to respond to a string of consecutive messages.

Before you hit the send button on that “Hey” message you’re about to send, read these 5 tips and then construct a message that’s guaranteed to up your chances of getting a response.

1. Use the first message to prove you’ve read her profile bio

Girls want to know that you’re not just copying and pasting the same message for every girl on dating sites.

Prove that you’ve typed out a  message just for her by showing you read her bio.
Has she listed her favorite childhood books as the Harry Potter Series? Start there.

2. Spell things out properly, and use correct grammar

Ur too cute! Lol. Wat are u up to? 🙂

Using slang and emojis is absolutely fine, but please for the love of god spell things correctly and with proper grammar for the first message. After that, if she slips into shorthand texting, then it’s fine to follow her lead. But remember, you only get one shot during an initial message, so give it your best.

3. Compliment her on something other than her looks

There’s nothing that you can say about her looks that she hasn’t already heard from a hundred other guys.

Wow. You have (Insert one: beautiful eyes, cute smile, adorable dimples).

Instead, focus on the small details in her pictures to compliment.

Is she traveling in Asia in one of her pictures? Use this opener:

I haven’t met very many world explorers yet! How was the food in Thailand? 

This shows that you’re interested in more than just her looks, and it’s clear that you checked out her pictures and clearly thought she was attractive since you messaged her.

4. Avoid obscene language, sexual innuendos, and dick pics

I’d love to say that this trend has died, but for some reason a select few still think they might find that diamond in the rough that’s going to respond with an address and nudie to an initial message that is:

A dick pic.

Or messages like:
I’ll show you mine if you show me yours! Lol jk What’s up?

These desperate attempts at getting fast action should be reserved for the hookup section in Craigslist. You might get a response with an opener like this, but it’ll be in the form of a disgusted response or a block.

5. End with a question, challenge, or a call to action

When possible, end the initial message with a something that will lead to a meet up or conversation and not a simple “lol.”

There are a countless number of reasons that a conversation might fade out in the first few messages. Always craft your message with an easy response in mind in order to keep the conversation going.


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How do you usually approach women online?
What tips would you add that work for you?

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Judith Villarreal

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Judith is a professional writer, margarita enthusiast, and love doctor (minus the degree, lab coat, and clammy hands). Follow Judith on Instagram.

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