It has never been easy to read a female. To be honest, we don’t like to do what we say and say what we mean because we love making you jump through hoops.
We think when you figure things out and go above and beyond to appease us that it is a sign of your great affection.
I know how stupid it sounds and it really is stupid but we cannot always help it. It is in our genetic makeup to confuse you because we must be chased and fought to be kept!
On a more serious, less childish note there are some girls who really are not good at telling their man what is on their mind.
Communicating to our significant other always takes practice.
Here are a few common things we ladies are known to do when trying to depict another message.
After a while, every guy gets used to their woman’s behaviors but that does not always mean that you are reacting accordingly.
Let me give you a small “how to” manual when it comes to dealing with your girl.
Step one: Identify her behavior
Step two: Analyze the reasons behind it
Step three: Act accordingly
Now, let’s examine the behaviors in question:
The Silent Treatment
When your girl gets quiet it could be for one of many reasons. Sometimes we do not always have the right words to say and need time to process our thoughts before we babble off and go ape shit on you.
When we lose our words we will probably also start to cry, which every girl hates because we look ugly af and we ruin our makeup. Figure out what you have done or said to her that made her mad enough to either ignore you or get so upset that she needs to hold back from cursing you out.
After you confront her with an apology she will be more inclined to share why she was offended, hopefully in a calm manner. If the apology does not help, or maybe you are not sorry, and think she is being overly sensitive, then you should try talking it out further.
The Eye Roll
If your girl over-uses this, it’s best not to think much of it. If she is a big eye roller you should probably let her know, only because then she will use it less and this will be valuable to you because then you will really know how she feels about something. “Babe do you like this sweater?” *eye roll* “Sure babe looks great!”
This is a perfect example of when you know she’s telling you a white lie to please you. If she rolls her eyes when you are telling a funny story about what you did with the boys that weekend it isn’t because she disapproves it could simply be bc she doesn’t give af.
Quite frankly there are plenty of things that the opposite sex does when with their friends that the other party gives zero fucks about; boys and video games, girls and shopping to name a few.
So basically don’t go sharing bullshit stories unless you’re looking for an eye roll. Think twice before you say what it is you want to say to best avoid a snooty response.
The One-Word Responses
This usually occurs over text. Texting sucks sometimes because we cannot hear our partners inflection in their voice while writing these messages. This is a major part of communication that is lost through the phone.
Some people think that emojis make up for it because when they can’t find a word to describe their emotion they will use these faces and hand gestures in their place.
Personally I think they don’t even come close. Best way to rectify this situation is to pick up the damn phone! Call your girl and tell her what you really meant to say.
With your sweet tone or maybe even a smile over FaceTime, you will be sure to rectify whatever stupid message you sent!
This one can be tricky because we do this on different occasions not always because we want to punish you for something stupid you did to upset us.
Maybe we are waiting to get waxed and are feeling self-conscious about the bush down there.
Or it can be a health reason. Having a lot of sex can lead to a UTI or a litany of other issues.
When this happens doctors say it is best to wait until it heals before you go at it again otherwise without a condom we give it back to you to give it back to us, and so on and so forth.
This is very real and very embarrassing for most girls to talk about. Maybe she is not withholding and is just super sore from your Big D**k (lol every girls dream).
It could be that we are PMSing and feel bloated, fat, and ugly. Maybe your girl is having a pregnant scare and she’s just not in the mood because now she feels like wearing a chastity belt 24/7.
It could also be that she is not even withholding it but maybe she is waiting for you to initiate!
Maybe your girl is not attracted to you at the moment bc you have gained a beer gut. For all of these reasons, and I’m sure I have yet to list them all, you should straight up ask her why because whatever her answer it will bring you closer and in turn you will definitely have more sex, which is cool for everyone.
Dramatic Reactions & Cravings
These two go hand in hand because they are most definitely linked to PMS symptoms.
At the end of every month before she gets a monthly visit from mother nature, her bitch alter-ego shows up and for maybe a week you don’t even know who your girl is anymore!
She’s crying over dog commercials and eating the whole pint of ice cream for dessert (no sharezies). So long as you lay low for the week, she won’t cut your head off. Bitches be crazy… but not that crazy.
We are self-aware crazies.. well I can’t speak for all but hopefully your girl is. Please be sure to be confident when making an accusation like “whatever you’re just PMSING.”
If you are wrong and she is in fact flipping out on you– not on her crazy week– then you have just minimized her feelings and written her off to be a hormonal bitch for no reason. Not cool.
So, while you have every right to keep your girl in check, don’t go around using the phrase too loosely when you need her to calm down.
She’s either mad or she’s been quiet for some time now and has lots of questions to be answered.
Another reason could be that you’ve gone a while without seeing each other and she really, really misses you and is longing to feel that emotional support.
Either way, the response to this would be again to just pick up the phone. You get a lot more said in a shorter amount of time and you won’t have to deal with so much typing back and forth and hopefully nothing will be lost in translation.
If you are the one over-texting, ask yourself why. Do you miss her or are you nervous about her whereabouts?
If you are nervous this could be a red flag about jealousy and if there is any truth to your feeling that your girl may not be loyal, it’s best to have a conversation about it immediately.
Making all of the plans
Your girl likes to take control of your social calendar. Not cool! You need bro time and she needs girl time.
You guys can’t do everything together. It’s possible she has a job or lifestyle that involves going to a lot of events.
In the beginning it is important to show face and shake hands to let everyone know you are by her side. As time goes on if this gets to be too much socializing for you, you should express that to her.
Other plans may be for date night! She keeps planning date nights because she feels you either won’t, don’t know how, or wouldn’t unless she took the initiative.
A good reaction to this would be to make one yourself. This will break the pattern and throw her off base. Tell her to save a date in the calendar and mention that you have something in mind.
If you are looking to spend more time with your friends, politely discuss that you miss your social life with the guys and need a little of that back.
Best to be honest before sneaking off to see them and coming home late drunk just to avoid dealing with your girl.
Over-posting on social media
Everywhere you go she’s snapping your dinners and wants to take a picture with you! Your girl is either extremely excited to be doing this activity, or she wants the world to know you are hers!
Wanting everyone to know you are an item can be looked at positively or negatively. Maybe she wants to let all your old hoes know that you are hers now, this is her marking her territory.
Maybe she thinks you guys make the best couple and is so happy and proud she wants to show her joy to her friends and document these memories to look back on. You will know if it is negative or positive based on a few things.
How much does she know about your past and if she is the jealous type. If she was clued in and didn’t react poorly to it you should be in the clear! If she reacted negatively to the cautionary tales of your ex, chances are she’s got something to prove.
More than likely your girl is not the jealous, malicious type, she is simply excited to be going on these fun dates and adventures with you and wants to record her favorite memories via social media.
She whines when she does not get her way, when you don’t agree with her, when she’s cold tired or hungry. Any and all of these can be so easily fixed.
We are simple creatures and when we whine we need to be either distracted or embraced. Snuggles, hugs, and kisses help us to stop complaining.
Feeding us also could be the key to our grumpy hungry moods… similar to you guys!
So when she starts whining, give her the remote, a cookie, or a kiss.