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Reacting To Rejection: How To Survive After She Turns You Down

Reacting To Rejection: How To Survive After She Turns You Down

BY Christopher Gramuglia

Reacting To Rejection: How To Survive After She Turns You Down

You can’t make every girl attracted to you.

Women have their own likes and dislikes, turn ons and turn offs and preferences in the company they keep.

People in general are unique in how they date, and there is a whole field of psychology devoted to understanding what we find attractive in the opposite sex.

It would be great if, as guys, we could make every single girl we meet fall madly in love with us, but it’s just not realistic.

In fact, it’s a good thing when a girl rejects you. If you get turned down, it means you stayed true to yourself, and didn’t try to change who you are just to please her.

You maintained your core values as a person, which is more important than the approval of any potential partner.

Yet, it still stings when you think everything’s going well and you start getting three, two, and even one word responses from the last charming, hilarious text you sent her.

You can sense at this point that you probably won’t see her again and, if you liked her, it’s a serious bummer.

Most guys only focus on how to get girls on a date or into bed, but no one ever talks about how to deal with it when the chick you’ve seriously considered bringing home to meet your family gives you the boot.

At this point, it’s more about keeping your head up and doing some introspective damage control.

But sometimes, in the fragile state we find ourselves in post-rejection, our emotions can take over and we do all sorts of crazy stuff, thinking that we’ll salvage things and our dream girl will come back to us.

No matter what your desired outcome after rejection is, there is a solution, a simple way to move forward and recover after being left out in the cold.

Do nothing.

That’s right. Don’t call. Don’t text. Don’t ask what you did wrong. Don’t talk to her friends or family, and for the love of God, don’t write some vague, suggestive post about her on Facebook or Instagram and hope that she’ll see it.

Because she will, and will almost definitely interpret it as a desperate sign that you can’t get over things.

Girls, whether they admit it or not, want a guy who can survive without them if they need to, and hate feeling like their men are too attached to them.

No girl wants to be the center of your entire universe, so if she creates some distance between the two of you, take it as an opportunity to go out and live your life.

The more non-reactive you are to the space she’s creating, the better.

It’s okay to let yourself get lost in another person’s company and throw yourself into a relationship with a girl wholeheartedly, as long as you’re prepared to move on if things don’t turn out the way you thought.

Girls rarely ever want to cut ties completely (unless you did something really stupid like hit on her mom), and sometimes reject us just to see how we’ll react.

More often than not, it’s a test, and even though you think she’s vanished into the arms of some yoga instructor with a six-pack and an Ohm tattoo, there’s a good chance she’s still keeping tabs on you somehow.

After a few weeks of radio silence, she’ll start to wonder what you’re up to, and maybe even reach out to see how you’re doing.

Emotional stability is almost always seen as an attractive quality in guys, and if she sees that you can handle a little separation without crying about it, she may rethink her decision to peace out on you.

Again, the short answer on how to react to rejection, is to lay back, maybe hit the gym, hang with friends and enjoy your free time.

Whether you’re crazy about a girl or not, dating is a time investment and when the one you really like gives you the walking papers, it frees up your schedule to go out and do whatever you want.

Get a hobby, start a side-business, learn a language: take your newfound free time to make yourself even more badass than you already are.

There is still the possibility that she’s gone for good, in which case, there are dozens of positives.

If a girl decides you’re not the one for her, you can look at it as a learning experience, not a reason to sit in your room writing existential poetry and smoking pot wondering if you’ll ever meet someone as great (you will). Like I said, not every girl is going to like you, and that’s a good thing.

Let’s not forget, you can also go out and find someone new. Nothing compares to the rush of walking over to a girl from across a bar and starting a conversation with her without knowing what’s going to happen or how she’ll react. And of course there’s the first time you sleep with a new girl.

So quit wallowing and put away the Nicholas Sparks movies you were planning on watching.

Yeah, you got rejected, and its actually kind of great. Look around; there’s a whole world out there for you to conquer, so go and turn yourself into something better like Tony Stark building a better, stronger Iron Man after his old one got blown to pieces.

Rejection is a chance to rebuild yourself, do a self-inventory and make yourself even more whole and complete for the next girl that comes your way.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a writer, photographer and holds a master's degree in creative writing. He is working on a novel about dating in the digital age, and is an expert on topics like social dynamics and how to navigate the modern dating scene.

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