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Building Desire: How To Become The Man Everyone Wants To Be Around

Building Desire: How To Become The Man Everyone Wants To Be Around

BY Joshua Eferighe

Building Desire: How To Become The Man Everyone Wants To Be Around

No matter your field of choice, the arena of your profession or the scope of your expertise, knowing how to master relations is a skill set with no expiration date.

But who needs people, right? The pride in us, questions the reliance in the acceptance of others. And, in a lot of ways this skepticism has credence.

No matter the legitimacy of our circumstances or excuses, ultimately we’re the ones responsible for our success or the lack thereof.

But there’s something to be said for the one who can navigate any room, in any situation, no matter the varying personalities and backgrounds.

When you can win people over upon first meeting them it opens doors and gets you places faster just based off being someone that makes people feel good.

Even if these relationships are surface level and end up not going anywhere far, by simply transitioning from any guy to a likable guy, it places you ahead of the competition.

That’s competition in your workplace, in your social life, and especially in your romantic encounters.

Being the ‘guy everyone likes’ is not about sucking up and compromising yourself for false approval.

Being desirable — the guy everyone wants a piece of everywhere you go– is about having a reputation of lifting others up, being consistently reliable and fun.

When you build a reputation based on these components, your life opens up in ways you’d never imagine.

Positive 

Never underestimate the power of being positive. The first key to being desirable is making your presence enjoyable.

This can be as simple as words of affirmation or the energy you exude.

When you enter a room, hold a smile. Shake hands, give eye contact, be the spark that other people may not be able to muster.

In terms of what you actually do, the task is not that difficult. For example, when someone says “bless you” after I sneeze, I’m always extremely thankful.

Even if it’s a genuine hello, eye contact during conversation or unexpected affirmations, the impression it leaves is always lasting.

So when you are the guy who constantly does these little things on a daily basis, it wins people over — even if it’s subconscious.

Being genuine goes hand in hand here. People can sense when you’re trying too hard and, actually, hate fake happiness.

In fact, and I’m in the same boat here, people generally can’t stand someone who is always in a good mood.

Over the top happiness gets me a bit nauseous and it becomes too much to bear. Which is why it’s refreshing to be a positive presence, but a genuinely positive presence.

When someone asks how things are and you reply that it’s tough but that you’re trudging through it, people will respect that. Most answer artificially.

Even in conversation, when you admit not knowing a topic that is brought up or when you don’t fake laugh at a joke, it resonates.

Having a positive attitude is about being a leader.

It’s shouldering the difficulty of life, not lying about the difficulty of life and showing that it’s still possible to be yourself through it.

This is an energy that will attract people to you, even women from all walks of life.

Consistency

When you walk into a room and everyone wants to be around you, this goes far beyond the money you have, what you have on, or how you look.

It’s about how you make people feel and it’s about being someone that can be relied on.

You’ll be surprised at the response you’ll have when you have a record of consistency.

When you answer phone calls, text back, follow through on plans and are just being a man of your word, you’ll forge a trust with people that will translate to a lasting affection with whomever you encounter.

This is mostly true with women. Women love communication.

And in the business of fleeting feelings, as romantic dealings are, when you’re reachable, transparent and everywhere you say you’re going to be in a punctual manner, it will put you ahead of all the other men who are too cowardly to be consistent with anything.

Somehow we’ve gotten to a place in society where “ghosting” — or being nonresponsive to individuals we are not interested in — has become the preferred method of showing disinterest.

But word travels and the world is a lot smaller than you think.

When we show that we can be trusted with a woman’s time and energy, even if it does not work out, you’ll be in a space that the majority of men aren’t.

Fun  

The last and probably the most obvious component to being someone that everyone wants to be around is being fun — or not taking yourself too seriously.

A lot of guys, in pride of their great job, great shape or great anything, carry themselves in a non-approachable manner.

As if you need special clearance to be able to hang out with them. Other guys are so insecure, that they’re afraid to be seen in a light-hearted manner.

If you’re someone who can’t be the butt of a joke you’re never going to win people over. Perfection is a myth, so faking perfection is only fooling yourself.

If you want to be likable you have to be someone who is comfortable with taking a joke, cracking a joke and laughing.

Women love to laugh. In fact, women are more attracted to men who make them laugh. So don’t let your seriousness block you from letting loose and being with the woman of your dreams.

Being someone that people love being around is all about being a presence that puts people at ease.

Life is not necessarily easier for you, you just know how to maintain an energy that makes it easier for others.

This disposition will get you invites to exclusive events, enhance your networking opportunities, and win over women who may have looked you over.

But don’t try and look attractive. Be attractive. 

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Highly opinionated, contentious and one to always speak his mind, Joshua Eferighe has been on the path of expression through writing before he even chose the profession. Love him or hate him, you'll always want to know what he has to say. Follow him on Twitter @jman23j

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