What makes a great sex partner? Is it ample T&A or a formidable dick?
No (though, within reason, neither of those qualities have ever hurt anyone’s chances).
Turns out there are a whole host of attributes a great sex partner possesses, stuff you might not think about or expect. Master these, and your bedroom will get a whole lot more fun.
Regardless of your preconceptions, a great sex partner.
Takes Ownership Over His Or Her Own Orgasm
A good sex partner realizes that their orgasm is on them.
The responsibility doesn’t lie with the other person to get you off. It’s on you to find what’s working and make that happen.
If you can get there when you’re by yourself, then you can get there with another person. Understanding and accepting that responsibility will result in sex without pressure and expectation; and makes the whole thing a lot more unencumbered and fun.
Knows How To Communicate (And When Not To)
Do you assume you’re in bed with a mind reader? Turns out a lot of people seem to.
Look, she doesn’t know exactly what you like until you tell her — or show her. Don’t sit through something weird or uncomfortable. That helps no one. Be active. Communicate what you like and don’t like.
Think of it in reverse: Do you want to get lost in the woods with nothing but a few breadcrumbs, searching for some way to make her happy? Of course not, so don’t leave her stranded.
On the flip side, this isn’t a dictatorship (unless you’re experimenting with that kinda thing). Know when you’re giving too much direction. There should be a certain amount of artistry and romance going on here. Don’t give her a step-by-step guide like you’re putting together a piece of furniture from IKEA.
A great sex partner knows how to communicate openly but doesn’t spoil the mood.
Is Willing To Try New Shit
A good sex partner doesn’t just do the same thing over and over again forever. They mix things up. They try something off the beaten path. Maybe they go really painstakingly slow and spend a lot of time teasing. Maybe another time, they are more aggressive.
The key here is to bring some ideas and some creativity into bed with you. The worst thing that can happen is that it doesn’t quite work, and you can go back to the old reliable shit. There’s zero harm in trying.
On the flip side, be open to trying new things she wants to do. If she has a crazy idea, give it a shot even if it makes you a little uncomfortable.
Remember: This person agreed to have sex with you. Chances are they hold you in a fairly high regard, so it’s not like being terrible at talking dirty or role playing is going to torpedo your whole relationship.
Just give it a damn try and leave your embarrassment outside. Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself. Chances are you won’t.
Stretches Out The Foreplay
Often times, foreplay is kind of an afterthought. It’s just something you pass along the way to the really good stuff.
Instead of taking that mindset, think of it like an enhancer to the good stuff rather than a speed bump en route. Sex, especially for women, is incredibly psychological.
If you can fully put your problems and your daily thoughts behind you, then sex can be a totally transportive experience.
That doesn’t just happen on its own, and it doesn’t happen immediately. By taking your damn time with foreplay, you can help melt away that outside world (and hers too) and really create a damn piece of art in that bed with her.
The longer and more attentively you focus on foreplay, the more beautiful that masterpiece can be.