I know the moment you read this article’s title an overwhelming sense of sarcasm swept over you, and in your head, you were like: “Yeah, if I was fearless I’d excel in a lot of things, not just in my dating life.”
But I want you to take a moment and really capture the essence of fearlessness and what that could truly do for you with women. Like, how once in control over your thoughts, you can single-handedly eliminate doubt.
When incorporated into your actions, you’ll find yourself leading her to the middle of the dance floor. You can even determine your reaction to the outcome of any situation — all with a fearless mindset.
Fearless is not such much about being a daredevil or being willing to do what others won’t. Fearlessness, especially pertaining to dating, is about assuming position — being bold.
It’s about understanding that feelings of apprehension are solely due to the nature of the situation rather than something wrong with you. Once you grasp these concepts and readily apply a fearless attitude to every aspect of your life, women will take notice and you’ll start to notice a difference in your dating results.
Relationships, sex, dating, or whatever romantic term you choose to associate your relations with, all stem from your willingness, or lack thereof, to fully let go. Letting go of inhibitions, letting go of doubt, letting go of the made-up lies in your head — all start with being fearless.
“She doesn’t like me.” “She’ll think my outfit is dumb.” “Did I put on enough cologne?” These, and all those other, ridiculous thoughts typically like to rear their ugly head whenever we’re making a play.
It can be at a bar after eyeing a gorgeous woman across the room, on your way to pick up a date or as you’re walking her to the door, when your mind will invite doubt and self-deprecation creep into your thoughts. Simple interaction can become much more complicated when we start doubting ourselves.
You ever get very comfortable with a woman of interest and, in reflection of the early stages, you guys laugh about the awkwardness in the beginning? She ever asks why you were slow to make a move or what took you so long to ask her out? Were you ever shocked, then felt stupid for not acting sooner? No? Just me?
Well, if you can relate — if even remotely — these are the types of opportunities lost when you don’t keep a mindset of fearlessness.
You’ll hesitate on that first kiss, have her wondering why you didn’t ask her out, or even worse, why you didn’t ask her up to your apartment.
We are what we think. We are a sum of our thoughts and it’s imperative to understand where we go and what we do are largely predicated on our ability to control our thoughts. Whenever doubt or counterintuitive thoughts come about, push them out and make a move.
Half of the battle is taking that first step. Whether that’s shooting her a Facebook message, finally using the number she gave you, or literally taking an actual step towards her direction across the Starbucks floor.
When you are full of emotions — the elation, infatuation, and obsession — the way you normally interact suddenly becomes altered. Fearlessness lets you see her as a person, not as a crush.
When you’re able to look at her in a way that makes you excited to go over to talk to her, rather than in a way that makes you bottle up in a shell, it opens up your game completely.
You’ll be more expressive, you’ll be more inclined to smile, and you’ll be excited to make a connection with her — which is the way it’s supposed to be.
Even when on a date, you’ll eat your food like you would around your boys (which she could find cute and liberating), you’ll wrap your arms around her or even ask her to go to karaoke — despite not being able to sing a lick.
The majority of communication is non-verbal. So controlling what you subconsciously do — what your body unintentionally reveals — is the key component to being fearless.
You miss one-hundred percent of the shots you don’t take, and when we let fear freeze us, the ball won’t even leave our hands.
Fearlessness lets you take risks. And some risks we are just meant to take.
One of the biggest issues a majority of men face, whether it’s their first time talking to a girl, in a relationship or when they’re just starting off dating, is fearing the outcome.
The outcome of a no. The outcome of a non-call back. The outcome of not being invited up. Men let the potential of these ominous forecasts loom over their heads all because they are not fearless.
When you’re fearless you won’t allow outside opinions affect you, not even the woman you’re into. Having a fearless mindset controls your emotions and mental energy when people attack — whether intentionally or not — your ego.
Being in control of how other people’s opinions effect you is powerful. You’ll be able to move on to the next one and also not take to heart something that isn’t true about you.
When we begin to think of fearless as an attribute that we can readily apply at any given point and time, rather than a superpower that’s bestowed upon us, we begin to approach women a lot differently.