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How To Deal With A Beta Like A True Alpha Male

How To Deal With A Beta Like A True Alpha Male

BY Christopher Gramuglia

How To Deal With A Beta Like A True Alpha Male

There are two types of guys: alphas and betas.

The alpha-male tends to be fearless, has very little trouble attracting women and never apologizes for marching to the beat of his own drum.

He wakes up every day ready to get the most out of every minute, and when he goes out to a club or a bar, everyone knows him within a couple of minutes. In short, he’s the leader of the pack.

The beta is just the opposite; he’s insecure, believes that any form of picking up women is sleazy and misogynistic, and still lives in a fantasy land where people experience love at first sight by reaching for the same grapefruit at a farmer’s market.

The beta gets laid once a year, at most, and it’s usually a drunken encounter that the girl regrets shortly after. The irony is that betas will criticize alphas for having more success with women every chance they get.

They live on a moral high-ground that isn’t rooted in the need to be a good a person, but rather in deep, visceral insecurity.

They will seize every opportunity to tell the alpha male that he’s amoral, rude, obnoxious and that his skills at attracting women make him a bad guy.

It’s a way of avoiding the truth about their own situation; they are absolutely terrified of approaching women and living life in general.

The mere thought of walking up to a woman in bar is so nerve-wracking for a guy like this, that instead of dealing with the fear, he demonizes the whole process.

When he sees the alpha whispering something charming to a girl by the bar only to make out with her shortly after, he lets socialization take over and in an avalanche of jealousy, might even do something to interrupt.

Generally, girls can sense when a guy is being a beta, and if your game is good, no amount of his negativity will derail her from wanting you.

However, there are instances in which guys like this can be a problem and you, as the alpha, have to deal with them.

So, how do you do it? How do you successfully deter attacks from comb-over sporting, loafer- wearing white knights that feel the need to save girls from your seductive alpha ways?

The instinct, for some, might be to get aggressive, stand your ground and maybe even take things outside, but ultimately this won’t help you. In fact, it’ll make you look just as beta and unable to control your emotions as the guy pestering you.

The right move is to be as friendly to the beta as possible. Welcome him into the conversation like he’s your little brother.

He’ll try all different sorts of tactics to try and make you look bad—insults, monopolizing the conversation, pretending like he knows you—but the right response is to laugh it all off.

Girls are incredibly intuitive in social situations, and she’ll know what the beta is up to. At the same time, she’ll also be looking to see how you react.

If your confidence is rock solid, and you hardly even respond to the nonsense being shoved at you by the beta, it’ll actually make you even more attractive to the girl you’re chatting up.

There’s a second benefit too. True self-assurance means having the ability to understand the plight of someone who might be struggling.

Chances are, the beta who’s trying to throw a monkey-wrench in your night, deep down, wishes he could be you.

He sees you making new friends with everyone, ripping shots with the hot, tattooed bartender and collecting enough numbers to set up dates for two weeks straight and realizes he’s been standing in the corner for two hours not talking to anyone.

In a weird, backwards way, betas all idolize the alphas, but can’t admit it to themselves.

By inviting someone like this into your social circle, at least temporarily, you show a level of magnanimity that telegraphs confidence to anyone there to witness it.

In a way, it’s your responsibility as the leader of the pack to be understanding of the guys who just haven’t figured it out yet.

By doing so, you win twice; women find you more attractive, and you get to feel like you helped someone—not a bad night at all.

Unfortunately, there are some guys that have fallen so far down into the depths of insecurity that they’ll see your offer as an act of pity, and react as if you insulted them.

They’ll only criticize you further, and cast you out as some kind of sex-obsessed, toxically-masculine ape while continuing to believe that the pickup lines they Googled before going out are actually funny.

Guys like this can’t be helped because they don’t want to be, and you can only do so much before its time to take your girl to a different bar.

The truth is a lot of beta males are in pain for some reason or another. Maybe they got picked on growing up, had an unsupportive family, or maybe some girl broke their heart and they never really recovered.

Whatever the cause, these guys aren’t really living, and even though they are an occasional annoyance, they deserve a bit of sympathy. The best you can really do, other than sharing your alpha energy with them, is hope they figure things out for themselves.

Walking around repressed, while criticizing the guys who are out climbing mountains and dating tens, is a sad way to live, so the next time a beta comes over and tries to mess with you, just remember that it’s probably not personal.

They’re having a hard time trying to figure out what it means to be a man, just like you probably were once. Be patient and non-reactive; you’ll still get the girl, and maybe even find a new wingman in the process.


The only way to be successful in anything, whether it’s relationships or your professional life, is to listen to yourself above any outside voices.

You can’t go through the course of your life comparing yourself to others. You are the only one who has a plan for the way you want your present and future to develop.

I’ve created Unbreakable, one of my best selling courses, to help men reprogram their brains and download bulletproof confidence.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a personal trainer and graduate student of creative writing. He recently completed writing a fantasy novel that he hopes to turn into a trilogy, but also writes about topics like dating, fitness and what it means to be a man in the twenty-first century.

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  • GW62

    You’re a fucking idiot. You have no clue if you think there are only two kinds of men. Something tells me you think of yourself as an “alpha”. You know what? True alphas don’t even think about it, let alone talk
    about it. They just ARE…

    • elgar

      Indeed.
      This entire article reminds me of what immature 1st year high school students go through during lunch at the school cafeteria.

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