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Why Dating Multiple People Isn’t A Crime And Will Actually Make You Happier

Why Dating Multiple People Isn’t A Crime And Will Actually Make You Happier

BY Christopher Gramuglia

Why Dating Multiple People Isn’t A Crime And Will Actually Make You Happier

As of 2014, about 49.6 percent of world’s population was reported to be female, which equals roughly 3.52 billion women. For a guy who’s just started dating, or even one who’s been at it for a while, this is an important number.

Granted, not all 3.52 billion of these women are available for wooing, but the question of how a guy can date just one at a time still lingers.

Forget about evolution and how it says that men are designed to mate with as many women as possible; for a lot of guys that becomes nothing more than a crutch for rationalizing one-night stands. It’s in my genes bro!

Charles Darwin told me to bang and bounce! No. No he didn’t and the least you can do is spend the night.

The real reason guys should date as much as they can boils down to sheer numbers, and how most don’t ever really go out enough to have an idea what they like.

Everyone knows that guy from his hometown who only dated two girls in his whole life, both of who live within a square mile of each other.

He’s never actually gone anywhere exciting except for the one time his job sent him to Vegas, and is left believing that his soulmate just happened to also go to his high school.

Out of 3.52 billion women, the chances that the girl who lives down the street is also “the one” are extremely low.

The truth is that most guys lack the means to travel the world at their leisure, exploring rain-forests and cities in search of a girl who understands them.

We can’t all be Dan Bilzerian (though, wouldn’t it be great?), but what we can do is not let ourselves feel guilty for dating multiple women at a time.

Society tells us it’s wrong to see two, three, or even four women at once, but what feels even worse is the possibility of ending up with someone without being able to say you really lived.

The point is guys don’t do themselves any good by letting other people tell them they should only date one girl.

The fact that all women are different, unique and captivating in their own ways, is all the more reason that guys need to date as much as possible.

A guy gets labeled as a player, or a misogynist for openly dating around, but girls do the exact same thing with no such indictments.

It’s a little bit of a double-standard, mostly because single guys are labeled as nothing but horny, emotionally comatose meatheads who will do anything to get laid.

We all know this is a sweeping generalization, and begs the question: if girls leave themselves with lots of options, why can’t guys? Why can’t a guy date as many women as he can as a means of developing a sense of what he likes?

The most difficult part is breaking it off when there isn’t a connection, but there don’t have to be any hard feelings.

Sometimes people just don’t click and she needs to understand that. Everyone, no matter who they are, has to experience rejection or a break up at least once; it’s a part of life, and shouldn’t stress anyone out.

Two-thousand years ago, when people lived in tribes of a hundred or so people, it made sense to be monogamous and only sleep with a woman if you planned on raising a family with her. It was a way of keeping society organized and was actually pretty logical considering the world was a much bigger place than it is now.

Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, and even Craigslist for fuck’s sake, are technological solutions that can help people foster better notions of who they want to be with long term. You can literally go on four or five dates in a week (if you have the time), and learn a lifetime of information about what you want in a significant other.

Not taking advantage of the dozens of methods dating is like sending someone a handwritten letter with a carrier pigeon when you have a perfectly good iPhone in your pocket.

Guys who don’t take the time to go out and meet as many different kinds of girls as they can are living in the past, or are maybe just too afraid to step out of their comfort zone. Every day of your life should feel like the first day of college. Remember that day?

When you strutted across a campus full of new girls from all over the country and you wanted to talk to every single one of them?

Well, it doesn’t have to be a memory from the glory days.

Dating isn’t a series of opportunities to mold yourself to the expectations of the person sitting on the other stool at the bar; it’s a way of exploring the world and figuring out what kinds of people you get along with.

For some reason, guys confuse being a gentleman with putting on some kind of show to impress the girl.

Sure, it’s important that she has a good time, but you’re allowed to deduct points if you want to—especially if the girl you were out with last night was more fun.

In a way, dating multiple people makes you a more complete individual. Most people know what their favorite foods are, and what kind of movies they like so why should romance be any different?

Your likes and dislikes in another person are a huge part of your own identity, and you can only figure out what they are through experience.

So, next time you feel a little guilty for getting three or four phone numbers in a night, brush it off and call every single one the next week. It’s valuable experience you’re going to need.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a writer, photographer and holds a master's degree in creative writing. He is working on a novel about dating in the digital age, and is an expert on topics like social dynamics and how to navigate the modern dating scene.

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