Breaking up with someone is hard. Breaking up with someone you’ve dated for years is even harder.
What’s damn near impossible, though?
Starting to date again after you’ve gotten out of years of dating the same person.
Seriously, nothing is harder than relearning the dating essentials: flirting, first kisses, sex, and beginning a new serious relationship.
Maybe you’re looking for the love of your life, or maybe you’re just looking for a first date to get over your nerves. Either way, these 5 tips will help you jump back into the saddle and learn how to date again.
1. Keep details to a minimum
For some reason a standard topic of conversation on first dates seems to be romantic pasts.
Not sure why this is, but don’t fall for its seemingly innocent appearance.
No matter how much your date presses you for information, keep the details of your former long term relationship to a minimum, especially if you’re still trying to move on from the break up.
Some women might find that dating someone who just ended a LTR comes with a bit of baggage (whether it’s true or not), so don’t rule yourself out as a potential mate before you even get a chance to show her how amazing you are.
In the future when the time is right, you can be a little more open about the details – but keep the subject light for first dates.
2. Reconnect with single friends
Some couples might found that they’ve lost most of their single friends and only have a ton of couple friends.
If you walk out of your relationship only to find that all of your friends are all shacked up, try reconnecting with some of your single friends.
They can be a great help to introduce you to the trends in dating (it sounds crazy, but there are dating trends to learn when you’ve been out of the game for a while).
Meeting up with single friends is also good because being the third wheel when you hang out with your couple friends alone might be a little depressing, so give them a call and start reconnecting.
3. Don’t be afraid to try that scary new way of dating: online dating
If you got into your long term relationship back when people still lied about being signed up for an online dating website, then I have great news for you: online dating is no longer for desperate weirdos, and most of the population now dates online!
Pew Research Center just released some pretty insightful stats about online dating in the United States:
- 59% of adults think online dating is a good way to meet people
- Only 23% of adults think online dating is for desperate people
- 66% of people who date online have gone on a date with someone they met through a dating site
- 5% of married adults say they met their partner online
If you’re not sure which online dating website is right for you, then check out The Social Man’s nifty guide to online dating sites here.
Not sure where to even start when writing your profile for the dating website?
Check out these amazing tips that are guaranteed to land you more messages.
4. Get a hobby
With Netflix and Chill the mantra of singles and couples in 2016, it’s no wonder that more and more couples are staying in for lazy weekends on the couch instead of going out and doing things together. (No judgment here. Making A Murderer was too good not to binge on.)
The point is, get up off of the couch and take this time alone to reconnect with yourself.
What exactly can you do? The options are endless
- Take up swing dancing
- Go on a vacation
- Learn how to make wine
- Go camping
- Join a bowling league
- Try out acroyoga
- Basically try anything that brings fun, rewarding experiences that will one day become amazing dinner party stories
The next girl you date will be grateful that you’re not just another homebody who wants to stay home all day. (Seriously, some girls really hate that. Like these girls who created an entire Reddit thread dedicated to the subject of a bf who sits at home all day.)
Go out and explore your life. Taking hobbies doesn’t seem like a way to improve your dating life, but believe me, it will.
5. Take your time
Last, but most importantly, take your time dating. Don’t rush into a new relationship right away no matter how tempting the idea might be.
It’s ok to hold off on dating if that’s not what you want to do. Men don’t have to do the whole stereotypical rebound shag, especially if you have a feeling it’s just going to make you feel worse.
No one knows how much time is right except for you, but when you are ready to start dating again, enjoy the process and enjoy learning about yourself.
You’re going to be ok. In fact, I bet you’re going to have a ton of fun during this new phase of your life.
1. What’s your experience with getting out of a long-term relationship?
2. What helped you cope with the loss, and what helped you get back into the dating scene?