For some reason, a lot of guys think you have to go to a specific type of venue to meet women.
Typically, it’s a club, bar, music festival or some other party-type event where there is a high concentration of attractive girls. It’s probably been this way for decades.
Guys in the forties and fifties would go to dances where there was a live band instead of a DJ, and somehow manage to find the courage to ask a girl to dance, ass-out barely touching for one song and one song only. Back then, this was about as good as a one night stand.
This was a time where walking up to a woman and just telling her she was pretty was about as good a line as anyone could deliver, but things have changed. Men don’t ask women out this way, and more and more, the game has extended past places that are basically designed for social interaction.
In fact, women in general, are starting to dislike being approached in places like this, because it feels predictable. Even if your game is solid, when she sees you coming over, she knows what you’re about to do.
It’s not that there’s anything wrong with you, but the fact that being picked up feels predictable already makes the process less exciting.
The other issue to take into account is that you are not the only guy in the club or the bar who’s trying to pick her up, and by the time you come over, she’s probably sick of it. It’s a hard truth, but sometimes, girls just want to have a drink or dance without men soliciting them for a make out or a phone number.
So, as a guy who wants to maximize his success, and get the most out of his time picking up girls, what do you do? Do you keep going to clubs and bars, and doing it the same way as everyone else? The short answer is yes—keep going out at night. There are still lots of opportunities to find a girl who’s down for whatever at a club.
However, the really crazy hot girls, who get hit on everywhere, require a different strategy. Very attractive women go out already knowing that men are going to approach them purely based on how they look. It’s one of the reasons that they put on heels, wear push-up bras, and load their faces with make-up.
Even if they don’t plan on going home with anyone, they still enjoy the attention. The problem is that they are on guard. Even the most indirect opening line is not going to fool anyone. She operates under the assumption that if you’re a guy talking to her in a bar, you’re trying to get laid. End of story.
The solution is to look for girls like this elsewhere. Contrary to what you may think, beautiful women don’t just hibernate until the moon comes out and it’s time to hit the bar scene.
They still have to make trips to the laundry, go grocery shopping, get coffee, and maybe even buy cheap furniture at Target.
The best part about this is, they are not dressed up as if it were a night out, and probably are not expecting to be approached in a setting like this. They may have some awareness of it, but the pressure isn’t as intense in a Home Depot as it is at an Erik Prydz show.
In essence, by approaching in a normal, lower energy setting, you’re catching her at a time when she isn’t already fed up with men talking to her. It gives her no reason to lump you in with the rest of the dudes that have been harassing her all night.
You just become a couple of people having a conversation in public, and the normal stigmas about courtship sort of disappear. It’s a very organic, dare I say, more honest way to meet someone than yelling over the clinking of beer bottles and blaring shitty music. The lesson is to always be in “game mode.”
Never assume that you can’t talk to a woman because you’re both wearing sweatpants and it’s a dreary, rainy Saturday at the mall. Don’t think that because she’s strolling through a farmer’s market you can’t strike up a conversation about how much better non-GMO fruit is.
The idea that you can only pick up women in a place where it seems appropriate is a myth and is actually becoming more false than true.
Women are experts at the ins and outs of dating and sociability, and are constantly redefining the rules. For years, bars were the right places to go because it was something kind of new and unexpected. But nowadays it’s played out, like a comedian who never does any jokes.
The only thing to remember is that you must respect a woman’s personal space and privacy. Just because game is an everywhere activity, doesn’t mean you can harass pretty girls on the street.
Use common sense; if she has her headphones in with a baseball cap that’s covering her eyes, she doesn’t want to be talked to, so keep moving until you find someone else.
There is nothing worse than a guy who doesn’t understand the subtle cues that say, “Sorry, today is just not the day that I want to be approached.”
There are guys that think that you should approach no matter what, and usually just end up coming off as annoying. Always be ready to approach, but only do so if the vibe is right.
So don’t sweat it if your last night at the bar wasn’t as successful as you wanted it to be. Tomorrow’s a new day, and there’s probably a hot girl that does her laundry at the same place you do.
She’s most likely single, and secretly wants you to come over and say something, so quit wasting time and make your move.