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How To Bring Up Sex On A Date: It’s Not What You Think

How To Bring Up Sex On A Date: It’s Not What You Think

BY Christopher Gramuglia

How To Bring Up Sex On A Date: It’s Not What You Think

If you’re just getting into game, or you’ve been doing it for a while, you know that there is an art to bringing up sex with a girl you’ve been seeing.

It’s just part of the process of meeting, attracting and ultimately dating a girl that you meet when you’re out approaching.

For a lot of guys, it’s probably the only reason they game in the first place.

Yet, so many guys don’t know how to broach the subject in a timely way without seeming creepy, pushy or disinterested in her as a person.

Almost every girl will give you the walking papers if she gets the impression that you’re just using her for sex. And rightfully, so.

No one wants to feel like an object.

But if that’s the case, how do you, as the guy, bring up the topic of sex in a way that advances the interaction, while also making it clear that you aren’t just using her.

There are a lot of ways to go about this, and if you do it right, it can even trigger some more attraction in her because you can create the idea in her head that you actually know what you’re doing—unlike the last ten or so guys that disappointed her sexually.

The first thing you can do is tell a non-related sex story on a date or in another scenario. It doesn’t matter who she is; everyone loves a good sex story.

It’s juicy, entertaining and if you tell it right, will communicate to her that you are a sexual person, and are willing to invite her into that part of your life.

The story shouldn’t just be about a time where you picked up a girl and slept with her. That sounds like bragging.

But if you can recall a time where the events that led up to you getting laid were somehow unique or funny, while also downplaying the actual sexual aspect, you’re on the right track.

For example, getting laid in a church is a lot more interesting than getting laid in your room, and a threesome story is a lot more memorable than a retelling of the time you slept with your ex-girlfriend on vacation.

The point is, don’t just tell any sex story. Tell one that’s funny or interesting, and you could almost get away with acting a little embarrassed by it.

Behave as if you don’t want to tell the story, and create some suspense.

Another thing you can do is, in a flirtatious way, say something like “We’re not having sex tonight.”

It’s a way of bringing the idea to the forefront, without coming across as pushy.

By saying that you aren’t going to do it, it puts the idea in her head, and also makes you seem like you have some level of restraint. Don’t worry about it being too risky.

Just imagine that you’re a girl and the last five guys you went out with were groping you up and down like apes, and then a guy comes along and says in a playful way that it’s just not happening.

Essentially what you’re doing is flipping the script, and acting as if you are turning her down.

Part of the reason guys love to chase is because girls are the ones doing the rejecting. Rejection usually only makes people want something more, because it increases a person’s value.

By a girl rejecting you, she validates herself in a way, and makes herself seem even more attractive. There’s no reason you can’t play this game as well.

She’ll know what you’re up to, but she’ll respect you for taking the chance. Plus, you’ll get some damn good amusement out of toying with her a little bit.

Another funny flirtatious way of bringing up the idea of sex is to claim that you are celibate. Mention it early, but say it with a smile on your face.

Go as deep into the nonsense as you like.

Tell her you’re thinking about joining a seminary, and that even if you don’t, living a life free of sex makes you feel complete and whole as a person.

Just keep feeding her lines of bullshit as long as she knows that you’re joking around. The key is in your delivery.

If you look a girl in the eye and say in a monotone voice that you’re celibate, she’ll take you seriously and you’ll have a hard time turning that one around.

But if you’re smiling and have created a fun vibe when you say it, she’ll get the hint. Keep up the act until the very last moment if you can.

If the two of you are making out, stop and say, “Just remember, I’m celibate.”

The key is to just demonstrate that having a good time and enjoying her company is more important than sex.

What a lot of guys fail to understand is that girls know that every guy is interested in sex, and it’s no fun to just get to it.

They want to laugh and see that you can exercise a little bit of discipline if you’re around her.

These qualities are a lot more attractive than a guy who can’t stop touching her or whispering inappropriate shit to her in public.

It makes things uncomfortable and she’ll interpret it as a sign of what’s to come, no pun intended.

If a guy can’t control himself on a date, she’ll assume he can’t control himself in bed, and that’s no fun for anyone.

Just remember that bringing up sex in a way that’s fun, a little flirtatious and non-direct will always be seen as more attractive than asking for it directly or being too aggressive.

Girls have to make a decision ahead of time as to whether or not sex will be good, and they take each and every one of these things into consideration.

So next time you’re thinking about making some kind of lewd comment, pump the brakes and go the funny route.

It’ll pay off in the end.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a writer and graduate student of creative writing in New York City. He is currently working on a novel about internet dating and spends his free time practicing aerial photography, socializing and, when possible, sleeping.

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