What’s the inception of self-improvement?
From where does the desire to better oneself derive?
I know for a lot of us, it’s the feeling of ineptitude.
Due to unforeseeable circumstances, we could be dealing with setbacks, series of unfortunate events or some happenstance out of our control that has placed us in a compromising position.
Surely, our motivation spawns from such events.
For others of us, it’s not an external but internal causation that sends us to the drawing board of our inner selves. We may feel as if we’re stuck in the mud, as if we’ve plateaued.
Whether that’s in our professional life, romantic life or any area where you feel you should be further along than you are.
This longing to progress, to improve, to level up, to “become a better man”, is natural, and, quite honestly, should forever be a pressing thought in our minds.
As long as we have a pulse it means there is more information for us to attain, which means more for us to learn and more for us to grow. But even that can be vague.
Where do we get this information? Which areas of our life should we work on first? How do we find our value?
All these questions are necessary and are instrumental to the journey to becoming the individuals we so desperately want to evolve into.
Once we have an idea of who we want to be we can start conditioning our minds and thoughts toward that image.
That work towards our best selves is where our value lies.
But the first step is uncovering what a better man means for you.
What Is A Better Man?
Everyone’s definition of a better man is different, as it should be.
At the end of the day, only you know which aspects of life you want to see change and if you don’t, pinpointing those areas should be your first order of business.
I am more than positive that we’re able to prioritize the areas of our lives that need the most attention and that we’d like to see develop the most, and being intentional about addressing these areas is fundamental when we’re deciding to grow as people.
It’s all about knowing your purpose and having a plan.
Whether it’s physically, emotionally, spiritually or financially, becoming a better man starts with boiling what traits we would like to remove or add.
Once we’ve sat down and determined which aspects of our life we want to invest the majority of our energy, we’ll simultaneously recognize the value inside of us.
But this recognition can’t and won’t happen until we do.
Be A Doer
A lot of times we know we can do more with ourselves and with our lives but when it comes down to actually doing what’s necessary to influence our circumstances, we freeze.
We want to lose weight, we want to start our own business, we want to feel more comfortable around women, we want to be less of assholes — the list goes on.
Hell, if it was up to us, we’d solve them all at once. But the key is mapping out realistic short-term goals for yourself then, one-by-one, executing those benchmarks a little at a time.
Change is not something you can see plainly with the naked eye; it’s not exactly one of those concepts which yields an immediate response.
Half of the time, the people you see who’ve grown old in their ways and who have become comfortable with their shortcomings are the ones who weren’t steadfast and who weren’t doers.
You need to be a steadfast doer to become a better man.
Whenever you decide which aspects of your life you want to deposit your time and energy into, know that it takes commitment and consistency to toil that ground.
It’s this consistency that will give you the fulfillment you’ve always longed for.
Your best self is not a destination. There are no finish lines when it comes to self-improvement.
That is why the value we place on ourselves is our never-ending currency in this world of fleeting fads and plummeting dollar.
At the end of the day, it’s not money, a designer brand or outer appearance that’s going to give you the confidence to get that job or to go up and talk to the girl across the room.
It’s the work you know you’re putting in toward reaching those goals — whether or not you’ve obtained them — that will be the fuel behind your most ambitious endeavors.
A lot of times we don’t know what we’re made of because we haven’t pushed what’s inside, out.
When we test ourselves to reach the potential we believe we’re able to achieve, even in failure, we will begin seeing our value — or what we’re made of.
This is what being a better man is all about: making the best choices consistently at every given opportunity.
No one will be able to hold anything above your head and no one, not even yourself, will be able to tell you about what you can or cannot accomplish when you make small incremental improvements to your life every day.
Wanting to be better, starts with defining what better is, acting on what you discover, then living in the truth of your efforts and not letting anyone take that hard work away from you.
We will never reach perfection, but what we can do is ensure that we keep track of what perfection means to us and make it a goal to strive towards every day.
I think that, above all, is what being our best possible selves is about.
You’re always going to feel like you can do more and the truth is that you probably can.
The key, however, is to find contentment with what you do every day and to be sure you do something every day toward bringing those accomplishments to life.