Money Can’t Rule The Relationship: Balancing Love and Your Checkbook

Money, money, money, MONEYYY! Money.
The one thing that controls almost every single human being on the planet. It keeps the world in motion. It tells us who has the most power and the least.
It defines who we are and measures us. It can make us feel happy, excited, and melancholy all at the same time. It can get us in trouble or get us out of the most terrible situation we’ve ever been in. It can destroy relationships or create them.
Knowing how to balance your life and money goes hand in hand. Mastering this can really put you ahead. It was actually one of my biggest problems, forgetting to create an equal balance between my life and my expenses.
I used to find balancing my money and taking care of somebody else, when I could barely take care of myself, pretty difficult.
I could’ve blamed it on the economy, but I didn’t. I blamed it on myself – biting off more than I could chew and fearing being seen as a cheap person. What makes it even worse, is that I never wanted any of my partners to see me as a cheapskate.
With all these celebrities boasting about how much money they have sets the bar high for me, for us. Seeing what they buy their partners makes us insecure and while our partners are watching them on social media you can’t help but think to yourself, “I hope they don’t leave me for some rich person.”
You check your bank account and it’s not looking too hot. You just paid for this month’s bills, you went too hard the night before buying the crew shots, or your paycheck was weak as fuck.
But, hey, your partner wants to go out and they won’t stop nagging. You tell your partner to go out by themselves and the dissatisfaction of letting them go out alone is driving you crazy.
You wish you had budgeted better or that you listened to your partner when they offered to pay the bill. You couldn’t just buy that one drink you had to get 5.
Everyone has this problem or has at least encountered the money issue in one relationship or another. How can you fix this? Here are some tips that I’ve given myself that helped my broke ass manage my expenses and relationships.

Split that Check

This for me can make or break the relationship. On the first date I normally take a girl to dinner and I see how she reacts when I ask her to split the bill. Like, did she expect me to pay for the whole thing when we barely even know one another? Chivalry is dead.
Let’s get real here if you’re a student or just graduating chances are you’re pretty broke. Unless, you still ask your parents for money for your social life. If they expected you to pay for the meal on the first date get ready because you are most likely about to enter a high maintenance relationship.
Think to yourself, “Can I handle that?” Make sure you can because if not that relationship won’t last. All you will do is argue about expenses.
Every time you set the bar high you will have to take it higher and higher each and every single time you want to do something nice for your partner, nothing will ever satisfy them.

Bless Responsibly

Giving always feels good. It is good to give, but giving responsibly is very important. Don’t dish it out especially if you don’t have it, because it will come back and bite you right in the ass.
This was one thing I struggled with in my previous relationships.
I would keep spending money on stupid things that my partners said they wanted or I would pick up the check more than once in a day, when I knew by the end of the day I would be broke.
Most of my past girlfriends wouldn’t even reciprocate the favor. I was so blinded by material love and so were my partners. The love became based on what I was able to buy instead of who I was.

Don’t Be Taken Advantage Of

If you start noticing that your partner is always broke when they have a 9 to 5, you are being taken advantage of.
If your partner is always going to the bathroom every time the check comes to the table, you are being taken advantage of. If you start noticing that you are paying for everything and your partner is not paying for shit, YOU ARE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF! Get it yet?
It’s easy to be persuaded when you are in love or when you think you are in love.
Think about it, if you lost your job today and wouldn’t have enough money to do all the fun things you and your partner normally do, would that partner leave or stay with you and help you get through the situation? Shout out to “21 Questions.”