How To Meet Girls Without Ever Having To Do A Cold Approach

I’ve met my last three girlfriends, and three of the last six or so girls I’ve dated, through social circles. And these were some of the “best” girls I’ve ever been with.
There were always some common threads to how I managed to build attraction with these girls, but today, I want to discuss how you can put yourself in the position to actually meet women.
But before we start… this is primarily targeted to men who want to meet, be friends with, and date very hot, very social women.  Typically these are younger girls (i.e. 20-25) who are not looking for marriage or long-term partners in the men they date.
So with that caveat, onwards…
If you’ve had the chance to read my friend Mark’s book Conquer Your Campus, some of these concepts will be very familiar to you.
Even if you’re not in college, the book is the best primer on social circle game I’ve ever seen. And men who are good with women on campus almost inevitably can answer the following question: where’s the best party at tonight?
Ok, so why is this such an important question?  Well, let’s consider a hot girl’s reality for a second.
The other week I was hanging out with two girls  – a friend, and a former hookup – who are both 21 and incredibly hot.
We’re in New York, so on top of the interest they’re getting from college guys, there are also umpteen club promoters trying to get the girls motivated to go out.
Their options were as follows:
– Cheap drinks at Asian Pub with just the three of us (a college bar by NYU)
– Free dinner at Barna (hosted by a promoter) followed by clubbing at Marquee (good on Thurs)
– Clubbing at Cain and Suzie Wong’s (not great on Thursday)
– Clubbing at Room Service and tenjune (better clubs) with me/my friends
– Drinks with their college friends in Greenwich Village – staying in
So all of these options rolled in via text from about 7pm to 11pm when we were hanging out. That’s a lot of options for a Thursday night. Needless to say, many guys are competing for these girls’ time.
Now, there are a lot of factors that go into who girls will hang out with on any given night.
I’ll elaborate on these more in the future, but in short, they include:
– The guys who will be there
– The girls who will be there
– The effort it takes to get there
– The type of venue
– The weather
– What their friends want to do.
So there are some things in that list that you can’t control, like the weather, or how much effort it will take to get there.
But there are some things you can control, and they almost all relate to which parties you know about. So we get back to the original point of the email – where’s the party at?
When attractive single girls go out, they want their night taken care of. They don’t want to have to think about logistics or where they’re going next.
In the back of their minds, they have a faint conception of how late they’ll be out and where they’re sleeping that night, but that’s about it.
So being a guy who dates and is friends with these girls is all about having options and leading girls to the right places. It is all about knowing where the party is at.
If this is the lifestyle you want to pursue, its going to take some energy. But man, its fun.
My general rule is thus: know of a good pre-party and/or dinner spot, know where one or two great parties are (with different vibes at each), and know where a good post-party is.
Every night of the week.
Well, that’s if you want to be mr social. But even on the busy nights, you need a plan. You need to be *totally on top of it* and make it look effortless.
This means lots of calls, lots of text messages. There’s an old saying, “build your network when you don’t need it”. Even on off nights, you should be hitting up the people you’re planning on partying with on the weekend. Common texts from my phone when I’m in hardcore social mode include:
– “How’s your night going bro?”
– “Having a good time tonight hon?”
– “Yoooo I’m zonked but hope you’re partying it up”
– “You better be getting into big trouble right now”
– “Hey man you need me to send some cool girls your way?”
– “Hey babe I have some friends at {venue x}, I’m not out tonight but lemme know if you wanna meet them”
– “Hey hottie hope your keeping it rock and f’ing roll tonight.”
And of course, derivatives of these. When you start pumping out positive social energy in this way, people are thinking about you even when you’re not there – you’re adding to their night with your positivity and attention.
And sometimes (I’m sure this has happened to you) you catch someone when they’re just not having fun, and they’re thrilled to be able to turn their attention to texting with you for five minutes.
Play your cards right, and that girl you texted may just come by to meet you as her evening comes to a close.
With a solid baseline of outbound social positivity (wow, that sounds like a phrase looking for an acronym if ever there was one), you can start pinging people earlier in the evening – around 5 or 6 – to see what’s on their radar for the night.
Some people will have solid plans, others are looking for a fun party.
“Hey chief whats your evening look like?”
“Whats up hun whats going on w you tonight?”
So now you start assembling the pieces. Find a few girls who don’t have anything settled, and tell them about a great house party your guy friends are having.
Then once you’re there, pull everyone out to the bar where more of your friends are hanging out.  Finish the evening (or start the morning!) at your house, with cocktails and the requisite Bob Marley music.
This isn’t without it’s work.  It’ll be a lot more effective for you if you’re looking for a very full social life, rather than, say, looking for a wifey.
But with a month or two of energy, you’ll quickly find yourself on the receiving end of party invites, tons of text messages, and lots of fun. You’ll be the go-to-guy for a good time.
And that is a *great* way to start meeting the most desirable girls without ever having to do a cold approach.