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3 Reasons Why Those Brutal Breakups Are Always A Good Thing

3 Reasons Why Those Brutal Breakups Are Always A Good Thing

BY Joshua Eferighe

3 Reasons Why Those Brutal Breakups Are Always A Good Thing

Breakups never feel good. No matter how long you guys dated, who was in the wrong or how healthy the break may be, every time a relationship ends we tend to question if it was the right decision or not.

The habit of begging people to stay and the guilt we feel letting them go is nothing more than sympathy — you don’t want to see someone you love hurt.

As a result, we question severing ties and leaving toxic relationships. We second guess ourselves when we’re abandoned and we question others for abandoning us. Rarely does one handle rejection light-heartedly.

But what if I told you that, no matter what, every breakup is a positive? That besides the agony of heartbreak, anyone who leaves your life, regardless of the circumstances, is doing you a favor.

Life is chaotic and we should always be looking for signs and direction at all times. And what better way than a breakup for one to evaluate their life?

It’s time we start seeing breakups as beneficial. Firstly, because they are clear benchmarks of where we are in life and secondly, because they reveal what we’re lacking.

If the relationship ended due to your infidelity, you shouldn’t be fighting to get her back. Instead, you should be handling your lack of self-discipline.

If she disrespects your feelings and doesn’t show the effort you give, you should be happy about her departure, not miss her.

Once we start looking at every event in our life as an opportunity, we’ll begin handling things a lot differently.

You Need Improvement

We’ll never admit it, but we usually play a big role in the breakups we experience. Yet, rather than addressing our wrong, we’ll proudly move on to the next relationship.

Why not use breakups as a chance to self-reflect. I think being single has garnered such a negative stereotype, that people actually think there’s something wrong with living without a romantic interest.

If we take a second to evaluate some of the “you’re an asshole”, “you never listen to me”, “you’re insensitive” claims — even if they turn up baseless — we will enter our next romances more fine-tuned.

Many of us don’t see our bad relationship habits as problems, and that’s the issue. If we never think to address the areas of improvement that we all inevitably have, how can we expect to keep a woman or even handle her leaving?

View your next breakup as an opportunity to better yourself. You’ll thank yourself later.


You Deserved Better

Sometimes it’s not our fault. As in, not a single bit of it was on us. It’s in instances like these where, again, we should look at the breakup with a different attitude.

Whether it’s an infatuation with the idea of someone or just falling too hard for the wrong person, we even take breakups badly when it’s with someone that was straight-up bad for us.

When we start seeing ourselves as an asset, as persons of value, we will no longer mourn over the people dragging us down — we’ll see their absence as a privilege.

We deserve our efforts and heart reciprocated; especially in matters as intimate and sensitive as love interests.

A lot of time our heart makes it hard to let people go, but we must understand our energy deserves to be used properly, not poorly. And investing in someone who does not appreciate you is a waste of energy none of us can afford.


It Was Not Meant To Be

Breakups are always a good thing because it means there is room for someone new, better and more compatible in our lives. We get bent out of shape when someone leaves our lives because, for that moment at least, it feels like they were the best we had.

Breakups present us with an entirely new world where the number eight might blow your regular order out of the water. Although your usual has never steered you wrong, until now, you never got the chance to see how it was not even close to being the best option on the menu.

You never know if you’re going to get back together with an ex or if you’ll ever see her again, but a breakup is far from the end of the world. We have to accept that the things for us are going to be for us, and the ones that aren’t is not our loss.

You have to remain confident in yourself when someone lets you go and you must love yourself enough let someone go.

At the end of the day, life is a never-ending stream that comes and goes. So we must understand that there are people, places and things that come and go with it.

Breakups are always a good thing because it gives us a chance to either become a better person, rid a toxin out of your life, or put into perspective who should really be in your life.

There will always be pain when you lose an investment of the heart, but if we choose to learn from that pain and see the loss as an opportunity to become better, you will see how breakups are not as bad as you envisioned.

Stop torturing yourself with that horrid breakup playlist and give your liver a break from the whiskey on Tuesday mornings. See the split as a benefit and use the space as a platform to be a better you.

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Joshua Eferighe

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Highly opinionated, contentious and one to always speak his mind, Joshua Eferighe has been on the path of expression through writing before he even chose the profession. Love him or hate him, you'll always want to know what he has to say. Follow him on Twitter @jman23j

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