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Managing An Open Relationship: How To Date Two Women At A Time

Managing An Open Relationship: How To Date Two Women At A Time

BY Christopher Gramuglia

Managing An Open Relationship: How To Date Two Women At A Time

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to successfully date, or even sleep with two women at the same time?

It’s a normal thought for any guy to have, and while some may object to the moral ramifications of it, this sort of thing happens all the time.

This isn’t an article about whether or not attempting to initiate a threesome is right or morally justifiable.

If everyone involved willingly participates, then guess what: there is no need to bring judgment or questions of right and wrong into the equation. You’ve all agreed, and that’s all that really matters.

The real point of this article is how to go about orchestrating something that seems, at first, highly taboo and borderline unattainable.

The first step is to stop viewing a relationship with two women as something out of reach, or an experience that only a select few yacht and mansion-owning guys get to have in their lives.

Sex is about novelty for both men and women, and adding a third person into the mix certainly raises the bar, making the experience as a whole that much more intense.

There’s a lot more to it than just sex but, like any relationship, it still plays a big role.

It’s actually a little naïve to think that some girls don’t occasionally wonder what it might be like to be with a guy and a girl at the same time.

Some don’t, but there are a lot of women out there that do. So, how do you go about setting something like this up?

Do you just set up one date, not tell the other girl and have them both show up in the same bar? No. Definitely not. This will come off as manipulative, and probably creepy.

Dating two women at the same time, honestly, without being secretive about it, takes time, trust and the willingness to take a chance.

The first thing you have to do is be upfront from the very beginning. You should tell both girls individually, that you are dating around.

If they choose to walk, then you have your answer and you can keep searching for a girl who is down for what you’re offering.

You don’t have to come right out and say first thing that you’re looking for a non-traditional polygamous relationship, but you should try and make it clear by the end of the first date that you like to keep your options open.

Now, after both girls have been made aware that you are, in fact, seeing both of them at the same time, you can offer to have them meet. Treat it like any other date.

Go get drinks, grab food and don’t appear pushy or as if you have some kind of agenda.

The goal should be for both girls to get along with each other as if it’s just as much their date as it is yours.

If they don’t hit it off, the worst thing you can do is try and force them to get along. You’ll have to just move on.

Dating two girls at once is essentially one big relationship, and if all three of you aren’t on the same page, it’s just not going to work out.

Say, for example, that one of the girls isn’t necessarily bisexual, but has only considered hooking up with a girl.

It’ll be a lot easier for her to make up her mind if she can get along with the other female in the picture.

If they hate each other, or can’t find anything in common, it won’t matter how hot they are.

They’ll turn against each other, and then blame you for putting them in such an uncomfortable situation. It’s unfortunate, but this is the fast track back to square one.

It actually requires even more balance and communication than a normal monogamous relationship.

You are dealing with very complex emotions, and all three of you need to be able to deal with them appropriately and rationally.

The fastest way to kill the spark in a three person, open relationship is to assume that there are hierarchies or that one person is in control. If you all have an equal say, things will go much smoother.

The idea of dating two girls at once always seems to raise a few eyebrows, mainly because it doesn’t fit into society’s idea of what is acceptable or normal, but if it’s something you want out of your dating life, that shouldn’t stop you.

What will inevitably cause you to crash and burn in this endeavor is only focusing on the sexual aspect of being in a relationship with two women at the same time.

Yes, having a threesome with two girls is probably number one on most guy’s bucket lists, but it’ll never happen without respecting everyone involved or seeing past the ego-boost it may give you.

In a way, it’s like dating any girl. You have to build some comfort first, see if the vibe is right, and then if you end up being compatible, sex will just happen on its own.

Trying too hard to make it happen shows a lack of self-control, and in a delicate situation like a threesome, can make everyone uncomfortable.

The main reason most guys can’t date two girls at once is because they don’t focus enough on the process itself: the dates, the hanging out, the getting to know one another.

They just want to sprint to the finish line.

It’s counterintuitive, but if you focus on the in-between stuff, and make sure that there’s plenty of honesty about what’s going on, things will happen organically.

It isn’t all that much different from gaming one girl. If you behave as if dating two girls is normal for you, there’s a good chance she’ll start to feel like it’s normal too.

It really depends on how you frame the interaction.

If you appear chill about it, you’ll be more successful, and may wind up in one of the most rewarding relationships you’ve ever had.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a personal trainer and graduate student of creative writing. He recently completed writing a fantasy novel that he hopes to turn into a trilogy, but also writes about topics like dating, fitness and what it means to be a man in the twenty-first century.

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