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3 Reasons Mentally Strong Men Struggle To Find A Partner

3 Reasons Mentally Strong Men Struggle To Find A Partner

BY Paul Hudson

3 Reasons Mentally Strong Men Struggle To Find A Partner

When it comes down to it, there are two types of men in this world: those that are mentally strong, having the ability to take control of themselves, their lives, using their energy to create something of true value. And those that are mentally weak, failing to muster the courage and strength necessary to propel their lives in the right direction.

It’s the mentally strong that make a difference in this world. One single mentally strong individual — man or woman — has the ability to change the world. The mentally weak, on the other hand, aren’t capable of changing the world alone.

Yet, together they do have a tremendous impact. Sadly, not a positive one. It’s the mentally weak that slow down progress.

Mental strength isn’t something that you’re born with; it’s something that you develop continuously over time. It’s continuous self-development that allows the mentally strong to remain mentally strong.

There is, however, a problem. Being mentally strong often means having a difficult time creating and maintaining healthy, loving relationships.

It’s a shame, really. Mentally strong men are the kind of men that all women are after. Every woman wants a man that is intelligent, wise, passionate, and motivated. Women want a man that has the ability to create a future for himself. I

t’s in our biology to be attracted to those that we deem powerful and most likely to succeed. So how does a mentally strong individual manage to make relationships work?

Well, the only way to know the solution is to first understand the problems:

You’re too ego-driven.

Mental strength is developed through a combination of introspection and understanding of the way the world around us works.

It’s when we explore our place in the world, how we want to spend our life, and what meaning we want our life to have, that we strengthen our concept of self.

Mental strength is little more than the concept or vision that we have of ourselves and our ability to bring those thoughts into the physical world.

In order to be mentally strong, you need to focus on you. You need to think about you, work on you, and better yourself. All this focus on self reinforces our egos.

When it comes to relationships, however, there is much less room for your ego. In order to love, you need to give your partner as much value as you give yourself.

You need to become more selfless — otherwise, love is an impossibility. The only way to do this is to find sufficient reason to do it.

Take some time and think about why you want a partner in life. Think about how life would be if you had to spend it alone. Find a reason to control your ego, and you will control it.

You don’t have room.

I’m not talking about having room in your apartment or in your heart. I’m talking about having room in your life. Do you have the time to put in the effort necessary to make a relationship work?

Do you have enough mental energy to dedicate to your partner in order to make love work? Do you have room in your life to share it with someone special?

It’s easy to say yes, and then go about your day. The problem with mentally strong individuals is that we often take on more than we ought to.

We have an appetite for success — and for whatever reason, we feel like we can have it all — a packed schedule and a woman to love.

Truth is, if you’re packing your life so much that you don’t have time for love, then you’re living wrong. You need to set your priorities straight.

In the end, all that we accomplish is nothing if we weren’t able to share it with someone we love. If you don’t have room, you need to make room.

You may have difficulty allowing yourself to feel.

The one thing that all mentally strong individuals have in common, is that they had to overcome something that they considered to be incredibly difficult to overcome.

It will differ from individual to individual, but if you’re struggling to find a partner, it’s likely that some past relationship played its part.

You may not be heartbroken anymore, but it’s likely that you trained your mind to shy away from love, from commitment, from allowing someone to get to know the you that only you know.

I get it. I’ve been there myself, and I can tell you that it is manageable. I understand the appeal of keeping your mind focused on your work, stopping it from wandering off and thinking about things that you believe distract you.

But it isn’t a distraction if it’s something you want permanently incorporated into your life. It takes time to turn off those blockers you’ve put in place, but meeting the right person helps.

Meeting her won’t solve your problems, but it will make it easier for you to open up again. Just be sure that when you do meet her, you take a chance. A real chance. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to allow yourself to be vulnerable again.

You’re going to have to risk getting hurt, because that’s the only way to love is to love vulnerably.

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Paul Hudson


A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur who primarily addresses the successes and downfalls of love and life.

Click to comment
  • Terrell Stephens

    This resonated with me on a very deep level. Thank you.

  • LMAO!!!! The article is pathetic and sounds as if it is catering to the Nancy Boy skinny jeans millenial…..Hey either you have it or you don’t. Not everyone woman is needy and wants to have a man around 24/7…There are many who I have as girlfriends who understand the long hours and great financial success it brings and they get it. Some women don’t. I get the ones that do…….for the rest grow a pair and figure it out

  • George

    That is what that philosopher’s needy nice guy tells himself to feel better. “You’re going to have to risk getting hurt, because that’s the only way to love is to love vulnerably.”? As a mentally strong man you’re just very focused and efficient. The only truth to understand is that love is not efficient. A mentally strong man is vulnerable all the time (to make failures and get critizied), he just deals with it in an efficient and productive way. Time of my life wasted, dude.

  • David, Toronto

    I agree with this article. Unfortunately if you are mentally strong you will likely dismiss this, as that’s how you’ve been successful. All I can say is sooner or later you will agree with it. Likely later when you have lots of money, assets and success, and you are either alone or miserable with your mate. One suggestion for the interim – date other successful women – they understand as well, and they are too busy too. I dated VPs and above for years, and that usually worked out well as they are smart, competitive, and too busy to whine about how much you are working, away, etc. And many are just as committed to working out, staying in shape, sex, etc.

    David, Toronto

  • Zabrina Claire

    This is a great article! I think some men really need to read this and internalize the message.

  • Shanna Crunk

    This is a wonderful article targeting mentally strong individuals who desire love and companionship. However, not everyone wants or may be ready for a permanent partner. This can be helpful when read by someone who is psychologically aware of themselves and truly longs for/is at a time in life when ready for the commitment and vulnerability of love. The greatest happiness is found in true love but comes with facing great fears and evolution of ones inner self. Perfectly written for many successful adult singles I know.

  • Augustus GusGus Whitfield Jr.

    A very good article. I routinely date mentally strong woman( I seem to attract them). It gets frustrating time and time again when the bumping heads/barrier of the ego driven woman. Being ego driven serves well in the market place yet to a degree is a liability relationally. They are waters that can be navigated nonetheless I believe,it’s about balance….which is something the ego is not capable of cultivating

  • Solomon

    This is article is too right and truthful that it just hurts. I mean, it absolutely divulges my whole current being. I had the family of four in the past two years and now I’m living all by myself which is not so fun, at least not anymore. I have sky-size personal dreams I’m not eager to compromise. For that very reason, I’m literally obsessed with their fulfillment which of course takes constant self improvement most specifically developing my mental strength. I study a lot and I am basically developing out-of-my-comfort-zone lives just to be on top of my entire game which is great for my dream. On the flip side, free days, because they always come for everyone, are the loneliest. My entire situation tells me that I need the significant other but I’m afraid it won’t be much fun at least for her; I AM ego-driven, I almost have no room for other people including friends and I’m not so willing to really really fall in love, I think I am actually afraid of letting my guards down and also getting vulnerable at least now. Sad story is that I’m dating this hottie out of town I usually feel for only when she is around probably because I sacrifice that day just for her. When she is away, I even forget about her which is completely ridiculous. I don’t really know how she is doing with this behavior but if she decides to leave, I’ll definitely understand, not that I don’t love her because I feel so. For some reason, she wants me more and more and I like it. I just can’t have that puppy love even though I’m very much trying to develop balancing strategy to keep them both, the dreams and her.

    You rock, Paul.

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