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How To Find Comfort In Making Yourself Uncomfortable

How To Find Comfort In Making Yourself Uncomfortable

BY Christopher Gramuglia

How To Find Comfort In Making Yourself Uncomfortable

It’s easy to get comfortable in life. Doing what you’ve always done is safe and less stressful than taking a chance—no denying that.

In fact, it actually feels good to get locked into a routine or to just stick to what you know because it’s less work.

It really makes you wonder why you would ever step out of your comfort zone at all in any scenario. Why would you take the path of most resistance, when you could take the easy one that you already know?

The fact is there’s a time and place for a routine.

Waking up at the same time every day, going to bed the same time every night and eating a clean diet are all examples of how sticking to a schedule can help you in life.

But what about those times when deviating from the plan makes you better, or creates an opportunity that you would have missed otherwise?

This is true in tons of ways, but one of the best examples is talking to women.

If someone tells you that approaching a beautiful woman is easy, they’ve probably never done it. It’s nerve-wracking, and it’s probably easier not to.

But not taking action when you hear a little voice in your head that’s telling you to go for it, doesn’t make you a better person.

It’s stepping into the circle of momentary discomfort for a greater reward. In the case of talking to a ten at a bar, there are any number of possible outcomes, but you’ll never really know unless you do it.

She might turn you down, but she might also look right into your eyes and see something she hasn’t seen in any other chump that approached her that night.

The walk over to her should make your heart pound, and you should feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins; that’s part of the process!

It’s getting comfortable with these feelings of discomfort that make guys braver, stronger and better at being around beautiful women.

If you want to meet more women, but the thought of walking up to a girl that you don’t know makes you so nervous that you aren’t sure if you can actually do it, you have two choices.

You can keep doing what you know (standing in the corner, sipping your beer) or you can swallow your fear and do something different.

Essentially, you have to find ways to ignore the part of your mind that tells you it’s safer to stay in your comfort zone.

Anxiety or an aversion to situations that are tense or awkward is built into our brains, and we’ll never be able to just get rid of it.

However, we can find ways to accept it or learn to treat feelings of social discomfort as a mild annoyance instead of a reason to just stand in the corner not getting phone numbers.

A fear of the unknown is always going to exist in the back of your mind, but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can learn how to get comfortable with it.

It only takes one successful approach for you to realize that forcing yourself to go up to more girls and start conversations will usually yield some pretty positive results.

One of the biggest reasons guys stay in their comfort zones is because of the element of not knowing associated with taking a chance.

Let’s say you’ve never picked up a girl during the day because you feel like you have more physical game that’s better suited to louder environments like a club or bar.

If that’s the case, being out at a mall or a beach and trying to meet someone might be stressful, but that’s exactly why you should do it.

It broadens your horizons, enhances your skill set and hopefully leaves you with another date option later in the week. The best part is, all it took was a few deep breaths and a conversation.

Game and life, in general, is about continual growth.

Even guys who think they’re more advanced with pick up should still strive to keep honing their social skills with women and getting better.

There is always room for improvement, and the hunger to get better, no matter how uncomfortable the process is, is what separates the men from the boys.

You shouldn’t feel discouraged when a girl walks into a bar who is so hot she looks completely unattainable.

You should look at it as an opportunity to do something crazy, and then you should go talk to her as quickly as possible.

Maybe she is un-gettable or has no interest in talking to guys that night, but the point is that you gave yourself the experience of going up to her.

If nothing else, you can use the interaction as practice for your next approach, or as a way of teaching yourself how to seize new situations instead of run from them.

In game, there are no bad opportunities, and there is never a reason that you shouldn’t approach if you see a girl you find attractive.

It doesn’t matter what you look like, what clothes you have on, or if you’re on two hours of sleep and feel like a zombie.

The beauty of putting yourself in a tough situation is that there is always something to be learned.

You may not be successful every time, but you will accumulate a wealth of knowledge and a kind of mental body armor that you can take with you throughout your journey into dating.

At the end of the day, diving in head first into a scary situation, almost always makes you stronger.

So, next time you’re out at a bar and you feel your heart start to race when you see a hot girl, don’t panic.

Use it. Enjoy the adrenaline rush, and view it as a positive reaction to what might be an incredible opportunity.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a writer, photographer and holds a master's degree in creative writing. He is working on a novel about dating in the digital age, and is an expert on topics like social dynamics and how to navigate the modern dating scene.

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