Falling in love seems difficult, doesn’t it? Nearly impossible if you ask millennials who are currently swiping left on Tinder a million times a day.
When you look at love from a completely logical standpoint, though, falling in love is easy as long as you know the steps. At least that’s what Hetty Rombouts, a Dutch researcher, has found after conducting interviews of her students. Her findings show that there are only 5 steps to falling in love.
You read that number right. Only five, which means baking a chocolate cake is technically more difficult than falling in love when based on the number of steps it takes to complete each.
Let’s go through the steps shall we, and see how easy this recipe for love can be.
You must be willing to fall in love, and you must meet another person who is willing to fall in love.
It sounds easy, but you’d be surprised how many people go out on dates with people who clearly aren’t ready and willing to fall in love (themselves included). People who have just left serious or long term relationships or people who are clearly not willing to commit time to the process are good examples of someone not willing to fall in love – whether they actually know that or not is a different story. So, first step. Be ready to fall in love and find someone equally ready.
Meet a person who attracts your attention. And, again, because this is a two-way road, you need to attract the other person’s attention as well.
What exactly do we mean by attract attention?
Easy. It could be as simple as physical attraction or as (sad as it may be) a case of just being at the right place at the right time.
Each person should become a target of desire for the other.
Each person needs signs of interest from the other when expressing opinions.
These signs of interest in the partner’s opinion can be as minimal as a smile or even a slight nodding of the head.
Each person will take the time apart from the other so that he/she can begin to daydream and fantasize about the other person and the budding relationship. This is the step where love begins to bud.
That old saying ‘Time makes the heart grow fonder’ wasn’t a joke. A little time apart can actually make your love for the other person and the relationship deepen. (So, don’t smother her!)
After a bit of time apart, all that’s needed is another apparent sign of interest from your S.O. to make those budding feelings of love deepen.
Signs of apparent interest can be things like smiling, words of affection, physical displays of affection, etc.
And that’s it! That’s all it takes to fall in love with someone. It sounds easy, and well, that’s because it really can be.
The most important step in this all to remember, of course, is number one. Both parties need to be ready and willing to fall in love. Once that step is out of the way, it’s all smooth sailing from there (in theory, anyway).
Good luck out there, guys!
For more info on how to use your feelings strategically (i.e. not just to look for the love of your life), check out this awesome book by Rolf Reber, professor of psychology at the University of Oslo. Critical Feeling: How To Use Feelings Strategically is an in-depth look at how feelings can be strategically trained through appropriate practices.
1. Do you believe that falling in love can be as simple as following 5 steps?
2. Why do you think that we complicate love so much?