More and more, men are claiming a space for themselves in the sex toy market, getting “harder, better, faster, stronger,” à la Daft Punk.
Even though there’s a pervasive idea that sex toys reside primarily in the female realm – corroborated by pleasure shops populated by rows and rows of purple rabbit vibes, pink feather ticklers and the like – sex toy manufacturer Doc Johnson’s marketing director Sunny Rodgers reports that 60 percent of the company’s product users are male.
While social consensus lags behind hard data, and some still consider sex toys effeminate or downright feminine, the truth is that sex toys can be a great way to add more tools to the pleasure toolbox. So whether you’re flapping solo or flying with partner in tow, now’s a great time to begin exploring the literally buzzing world of male and couples’ pleasure products.
As stigma surrounding male sex toys gradually lifts, the options have expanded greatly. Navigating the types of toys (and exactly what to do with them) can be tricky or, worse, a turn-off. But don’t worry, we’ve queried some leading pleasure products experts to help you through the exploration process. So if you’re new to the world of male sex toys or simply need some guidance in picking good beginner’s products, you’ve come to the right place. Read on and enlighten both your heads.
Tricks aren’t just for kids. Sex toys aren’t just for women.
The first step to spirited exploration is shaking off any shame associated with those three little words: male sex toys.
“Sex toys often intimidate men for a variety of reasons, of which the most common is the misconception that they are solely intended for women and gay men,” explains Nelson X, NS Novelties public relations manager. “That mostly stems from the notion that they all go up the butt in absence of vagina. Truth is, the male sex toy industry has grown in innovation and quality.”
Sexuality and relationship coach Charlie Glickman, PhD, challenges the notion that most sex toys have a gender at all. He notes that the nerve endings in the head of the penis are “very, very similar” to the nerve endings in the clitoris. “Ultimately, sexual response is more for similar between men and women than it is different,” Glickman says.
Practically, that means there’s nothing preventing you from bringing the missus’ vibrator into your shenanigans under the sheets…tonight. A good “gateway sex toy,” a bullet vibe or pocket rocket can be held against the head or the base of the penis, on the testicles, or anywhere that seems, well, stimulating; some guys can even orgasm just by using a vibrator.
You can even get creative – ask your partner to hold a vibrator to her/his cheek while giving a blow job for a jolt of vibration.
Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before
Captain Kirk would never steer you wrong, in galactic or amorous matters.
Whether you’re looking for a toy to use by yourself or to bring into a shared bed, pleasure products can help us re-envision our ideas of sex and climax, and take you into realms of pleasure you never even knew existed.
As Glickman points out, not all sex toys mimic or need to mimic the sensations of intercourse.
“A lot of women like using vibrators on the clitoris and that doesn’t look at all like intercourse,” he says. “Guys have a lot more erogenous zones [than they know]. We have lots of other choices, and we don’t need to get locked into these very limiting ideas about what our pleasure looks like.”
By thinking out of the box, and experimenting with unfamiliar sensations and erogenous zones, you might find yourself ascending into higher realms of pleasure. Take your partner along for the ride, and they’ll thank you for it.
Flying solo? No problemo.
For those not ready to breach the pleasure stratosphere with a partner, sex toys can also simply help guys unlearn bad habits picked up over the years and learn to appreciate the journey (rather than rushing to the finish line.) Glickman believes that many teenage guys learn to orgasm as quickly and quietly as possible, which can lead to premature ejaculation and/or a vision of sex that’s akin to consuming fast food: “Let me just get it over with, take care of this urge I have, and then just move on to something else.”
“Using sex toys, especially solo, really gives us an opportunity to stop and slow down, and actually enjoy the experience,” Glickman says. The benefits of slowing down whilst alone can then be transferred into situations with partners.
Another great thing abut using sex toys alone? You can pick something tailored to your pleasure, and your pleasure alone. When playing with a partner, you always need to consider their physical needs. When alone, you can get whatever seems most enticing to you.
“ [But] remember not to put pressure on yourself to purchase the ideal toy,” Rodgers advises. “When you’re beginning your experimentation, you should embrace the experience of trying all types of new toys. This is how you find out what you like and don’t like.”
So you’re totally gung ho and are looking to start exploring the wonderful world of sex toys as soon as possible. What’s next?
It’s time to start checking out the multitude of options! Senior sex educators Cat Hammond and Calvin Hauer of Smitten Kitten sex shop in Minneapolis put together a handy dandy male sex toy guide to help newbs navigate the overwhelming number of products.
Super Amazing Radical Sex Toys For A Penis:
An oldie, but solid gold. These soft, textured strokers are great for someone that is looking to stroke their penis during masturbation. The hard plastic exterior also means that Fleshlights can be thrusted into if you’re seeking to give your hands a break or simulate the movements of penetrative sex with another person. There are a number of different sleeves to choose from, and each of these inserts have their pros and cons.
Despite looking like a vulva, anus, mouth, random hole, etc., Fleshlights ultimately build air pressure. This is great for people who dig oral sex, but this air pressure can start to sound…farty. You can control the amount of air being pushed out of the Fleshlight with a removable cap. However, I always warn buyers that their Fleshlight will be a lot louder than they may expect. Fleshlights are also kind of a pain to clean.
Tenga Eggs are rad because they are way cheaper than Fleshlights. A Tenga Egg is a stretchy, egg-shaped elastomer sleeve that is textured on the inside. Throw some lube in that sucker, and you have an amazing little masturbation sleeve. Though Tenga Eggs are a fun and inexpensive way to spice up your masturbatory routine, they are also a limited use item. I.e., this toy isn’t built to last.
These toys were originally created by doctors to treat patients with enlarged prostates. The doctors found that many patients found their new treatment plan unexpectedly enjoyable, and so the Aneros line of toys was born. The Aneros line is great for anyone looking to explore prostate play, which for many folks results in orgasms that feel different than those that come from penis stimulation alone. Made from a hard and chemically stable plastic, the Aneros line offers a variety of different prostate massagers to appeal to different folks. The design allows for the user to stimulate their prostate without even using their hands.
This vibe has two vibrating nubs that extend parallel to each other. The strong motors offer intense and focused vibration that’s great for any man interested in exploring new sensations on nerve-ending-rich hot spots like the nipples, scrotum, perineum, frenulum, etc.
This toy is one of the best vibes for a penis. The Pulse is shaped like a taco. One puts their lubed up penis into the Pulse and turns it on. The Pulse offers intense sensation directly to the shaft and frenulum, and can be pleasurable on an erect or flaccid penis. It can also fit nicely between two people’s bodies to provide vibration to both as they grind against each other. This toy is a must-have for someone that is looking to change up their masturbation routine.
Vulcan Masturbation Sleeves (especially the vibrating ones)
Got any sex toy recommendations or sex toy stories or recommendations you’d like to share? We’d love to hear about them in the comments section below…