You ever find yourself walking down the street, going to grab a cup of coffee or just knocking out some Sunday evening grocery shopping when an insanely attractive woman catches your gaze?
It’s almost unfair, right? Like, the audacity of this chick to be looking that good when you’re just minding your business.
The events that follow — the increased heart rate, the stutter of speech — is just your body’s natural reaction. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or to hide behind.
The approach is a primal instinct in us that’s somehow gotten convoluted over time.
Something so simple as, “Hey stranger, what’s your name. I’m approaching because I’m intrigued,” has been spun into pre-planned speeches, go-to lines and, the worse of them all — ‘game.’
The idea of ‘game’, who possesses it and who doesn’t, is a concept that all men should dispel.
Every guy has ‘game.’
I’ve seen the shortest, scrawniest guys get the most beautiful women with the longest of legs. I’ve seen some careless guys, dudes who put no effort whatsoever in their appearance, get the classiest women. None of that matters.
It’s all about you and her having an authentic personality. That’s all.
‘Game’, walking across the room to say hello, thinking of what to say when she says hi, or whatever interaction that normally makes your palms sweaty, is not enhanced by pick-up lines or special situational settings.
‘Game’ is about having fun, not caring about what people think about you, and pushing past very normal feelings of nervousness.
There is only one and one major key to master when it comes to approaching women, and that’s: don’t get caught up putting the game over the girl.
The art of the approach is being comfortable with who you are, here’s how to do this.
You’re nervous. You know she’s your type; actually, she’s your weakness. That’s fine. The catch is, when you’re anxious, you don’t act yourself.
We think about “game” so much that we fail to take into account very practical roadblocks that would make any normal back and forth between two individuals awkward.
Maybe it’s you she’s nervous of. Maybe you’re intimidating to her. Maybe she was completely into you but your nervousness threw her off.
When you approach a woman, try and approach with the same aura that attracted you to her. Ask what her name is, poke fun at her, make her feel comfortable. Overthinking the approach starts when we second guess ourselves. The second we start questioning if we’re good enough, she’ll detect it, and you won’t be.
Have fun and feel good when you go up to talk to her, it will make the world of difference.
Don’t Care What People Think About You
Half of the battle is telling yourself that, no matter what, you will find peace with whatever outcome.
Keeping unnecessary thoughts like what people are thinking about you in the back of your head, your feet will become cement.
It’s imperative to maintain the notion that everyone isn’t for everybody and just because she may not be into you, doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person.
You can’t let someone make you feel bad for acting on impulse. Don’t care what people think about you, care how you think about her. Be bigger than your environment, don’t let the environment be bigger than you.
When you’re not worried about rejection, others witnessing your rejection, or affected by outside opinion, you will approach any girl fearlessly.
Push Past The Bad Feelings
How do you feel before approaching her? Doom? Weak? Scared? All of the above? These emotions are natural and only become problematic when we let these feelings cripple us.
They key to approaching women is changing how these emotions affect us, because they inevitably will.
The method in how we handle these feelings will vary. You can try and use your will power to normalize the situation.
You can expose yourself, throwing yourself in front of those emotions to confront them head on, or you could condition yourself to change what bad feelings do to you.
Some people like the adrenaline rush as a challenge, riding off the high of possibly making an authentic connection, and laughing it off if they don’t. It does not have to be as bad as our emotions say it is.
The art of the approach is all about how you say hello. It’s the meeting of the eyes, the smile, and knowing what all the contextual cues mean.
Here at The Social Man, we have a course the dives into every aspect of greeting that covers The Approach, called Say Hello.
Say Hello covers approaching with confidence, body language, and other gems. You can check it out here if you want to unlock even more techniques that are right under nose
Next time Mrs. Everything casually walks into your dry cleaners, the one you’ve been coming to for years, way before she decided to waltz in there, give it a go. Have fun with it, shrug off any disappointment and just be you.
You deserve to go after what you want. You deserve to like who you are enough to want to share that with someone.
When we hold on to both of those statements as creeds, you’ll open a new side of yourself you didn’t know you had.