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How To Appeal To More Women Through Demonstrating Social Value

How To Appeal To More Women Through Demonstrating Social Value

BY Christopher Gramuglia

How To Appeal To More Women Through Demonstrating Social Value

There’s a simple fact about women that stretches back to the beginning of human history. They are attracted to men with a high level of social value.

A man who is well-known in society, or has power in a specific setting, tends to have an easier time snagging beautiful women.

It may not have always been this way, but over time women evolved to prefer a man who had it all, over a man who appeared to have nothing more than a few rocks and an old worn out pelt from the one time he went hunting with the rest of the pack.

But why? Why do women like a man with power, or one who people follow? What is it about the alpha-male vibe that makes the opposite sex take a second look?

Most likely, it’s a conditioned response reinforced over thousands of years. Men who lead, typically have deep control over their emotions, can think critically and were thus better suited for survival in the harsh environments where humans evolved.

In a strictly survival based society, where there are all different sorts of threats from animal attacks, to rival tribes, a female was smart to align herself with a male who could protect and provide for her.

It would have been a poor choice for her to shack up with the male who everyone in the tribe thought was a lazy, useless oaf who sat around smoking caveman pot all day.

When humans were a much simpler species, attraction was in part emotional, but also a calculation or a value-judgement on the part of the female.

There was no time to consider how funny or charming a male was; if he was a leader and could provide food and shelter, it gave him a serious leg up in the mating game.

Today, things are different, but the shadows of those old preferences still remain. Just look at people like Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods. Granted, they exploited their status in society for some pretty unsavory purposes, but the point is that they had the ability.

Imagine being the President of the United States or the best golfer in the world.

Your value in society is through the roof, and even though women can very easily take care of themselves nowadays, the impulse to be near a man who can provide security is still strong as ever. It all boils down to social-value, how it’s demonstrated and how it boosts attraction.

A lot of people would argue that having a high level of social value just by crushing it in life, is all you need to attract to women. It’s a little bit of a generalization, but the core idea holds true.

Unfortunately, most of us will never become the President, or get good enough at golf that every time we swing our driver a girl’s panties drop, but we can still use the idea that having a high social value is attractive to our advantage.

Let’s say you’re in a club or at a bar. How can you convey a high level of social value? How can you make her think that, in that small microcosm of the world, you are the leader of the pack. It’s actually not that hard, and can be done fairly easily, without making your night overly strategic or unnecessarily gamey.

The first thing you need to do is make sure your mindset is grounded in fun. No girl wants to be a guy who has a chip on his shoulder because the last girl he was talking to wouldn’t make out with him. Keep a smile on your face no matter what; it shows confidence, and that you are invulnerable to whatever life throws at you.

You’ll also want to go out in a group. Some guys like to try and approach women alone, but having a group of friends around you—both guys and girls—will raise your social value. It makes you look like a part of a group, rather than a wandering doofus holding a beer.

It’s very simple; just hang out with your friends in public the way you normally do, and let yourselves be seen having fun. A good time will attract just about anybody, so don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself.

Never hover around a girl either. If you get a girl’s number, just tell her you’ll hit her up later in the week.

Don’t follow her around for the rest of the night, unless she asks you to. The implication is that you have nothing better to do, and that you’re maybe even a little desperate.

If you’re trying to paint yourself as an alpha-male who takes his own path, stalking a girl all the way into her cab isn’t the right move. Float around the club or the bar, talk to as many people as you can, and there’s a strong chance that she’ll be the one following you.

The last thing you want to do is approach any social gathering like it’s the first day of college and you want to make as many friends as possible. On an unconscious level you should feel as every person you see is an opportunity to start a fun conversation or make a new friend.

The more people you talk to, the more it raises your social value—that includes guys! Sometimes, being able to become insta-bros with a girl’s guy friends, will show her that you’re personable, and it’ll also make them feel like they can trust you around their friend.

It’s like a friend of mine always used to say when we first started going out: if you want to meet a hot girl, sometimes you have to game the guys first.

Take a page out of a powerful man’s book by realizing that attraction is first built on how much a society or group values you.

When everyone in the bar wants to take selfies with you, girls can’t help but notice and wonder what’s so great about you.

So, when they come over looking for a taste of the good time that you’re dishing out, don’t be afraid to let them know.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a writer, photographer and holds a master's degree in creative writing. He is working on a novel about dating in the digital age, and is an expert on topics like social dynamics and how to navigate the modern dating scene.

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