Image the following situations:
You’ve just lost a promotion to a lesser-qualified co-worker
After training for months, you still haven’t hit your fitness goals
Your new business is still not profitable
After pursuing a goal for years, it slipped through your hands
Now, how exactly would you react to the defeat in each of these situations?
If you’re like most people, you’re going to be hurt. Losing sucks, and that’s the truth.
But if you’re not careful and deal with it in a healthy way, defeat will have the last word, and no one wants that to happen.
When you’ve lost at something, keep these 5 truths in mind to help you get over the defeat and go back to kicking a** at life.
“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie
From the kid at the grocery store ringing up your purchases to freaking Oprah, everyone experiences defeat during their lifetime (usually more than once).
Don’t believe me?
- Akio Morita founded Sony, whose first invention was actually a rice cooker that sold less than 100 units.
- Charles Darwin gave up on his medical career after being reprimanded by his father for being too dreamy and too lazy
- Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade, but he went on to win the Nobel Prize
- Oprah Winfrey was fired early in his career by a television news station because they believed she was unfit for t.v.
These people faced failure and decided to pick themselves back up again and have another go at their dreams.
There are two very important things to remember when you fail: 1) everyone fails 2) the most successful people are those who failed multiple times, but kept trying to succeed
“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing.” – J.K. Rowling
What better teacher is there than defeat?
Rather than allowing a failure to define who you are, use it to learn.
Ask yourself deep questions that can help you in the future when you give your goal another try:
- What can I improve on when I try again?
- How can I try at this a different way?
- How did I feel when I faced defeat?
- Am I willing to try at this as long as it takes?
Answering these questions when faced with defeat will help you gain clarity so that you learn from your failure because, as Psychology Today so eloquently put it:
“Failure really can be an asset if we are trying to improve, learn, or do something new. It’s the feature that precedes nearly all successes. There’s nothing shameful about being wrong, about changing course. Each time it happens we have new options. Problems become opportunities.”
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Jack Canfield
Failure forces you outside of your comfort zone, and (excuse the tired cliché) that’s where the magic happens.
When failure hits you in the face, it means that you’ve already been on the other side of fear, which is great news because it means that you’ve broken down mental barriers.
This in itself is a success, as not everyone is ever able to overcome leaving the comfort zones they’ve set for themselves.
You’re different, though.
You’ve already taken that step outside of your comfort zone.
You’ve begun to climb the wall, pulling yourself up toward your goals. Maybe you didn’t make it over to the side of success this time, but now you know that reaching the top is possible.
The fact that you’ve given yourself the gift of facing fear is a milestone you should be proud of.
“What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” – John Green
A nurse revealed in a stunning article the top 5 regrets shared on their deathbed.
The number one regret that people shared is going to haunt you.
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
When faced with defeat, it’s easy to give up because of the embarrassment of the failure.
Don’t let yourself fall into this way of thinking. Live your life without this regret, and have the courage to stand up and try again.
The sun is going to rise and set tomorrow whether you go after your goals or not. Time is going to keep on moving, so you might as well be putting your days, hours, minutes, and seconds working towards something you’re passionate about, so that you can look back on your life later and be proud that you gave it your all.
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”― Paulo Coelho
Finding defeat is a sign that you’ve tried to do something great.
Maybe it didn’t work out this time, but if you keep at it, you’re going to eventually be rewarded for your efforts.
The world rewards those who never give up.
So, what are you waiting for?
Get up. Dust yourself off. Stare at your defeat straight in the face and say thank you. Thank it for the lessons it’s taught you, and get ready to try again.
1. How do you deal with losing situations?
2. What’s the worst example of a time that you lost but bounced back?