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Play The Field: How Wisdom And Experience Make You Better At Sex

Play The Field: How Wisdom And Experience Make You Better At Sex

BY Christopher Gramuglia

Play The Field: How Wisdom And Experience Make You Better At Sex

Sex is not a skill that is above practice. You can’t just expect to be a pro from the first time you jump in the sheets, yet for some reason guys don’t ever take the time to see each sexual experience as an opportunity to get better.

Most guys don’t realize it, but the first few times they get laid, they’re terrible at it. Generally, the norm is to just go as fast and hard as possible without actually breaking the girl’s hip.

Anyone who’s sexually experienced (or not a fifteen year old) knows this isn’t necessarily the way to make a woman happy in the bedroom. It’s more about reading signs, and being aware of the subtle cues she gives you to tell you whatever it is you’re doing is working.

The truth is, you can only get good at sex through practice. You may have to wade through a lagoon of awkward sexual experiences to finally figure out what you’re good at and how to capitalize on your talents.

A big problem is the widespread belief that watching porn will teach you everything you need to know. This is total nonsense, and is the equivalent of saying that watching The Matrix will teach you everything you need to know about the internet.

The bottom line is, porn is a fantasy; it’s staged, filmed a certain way, lit a certain way, and a lot of the time the women are not enjoying themselves.

They’re pretending because it’s their living. I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch porn on occasion, but don’t try and copy what you see. You’ll leave some poor girl disappointed and confused. No one wants to hear the words, “I’m sorry,” after sex.

So what do you do? You want to bang like Thor after a day of slaying giants, but aren’t sure if you’re really doing it right. The answer is simple: take more opportunities to hook up.

I don’t just mean go and have regular missionary sex with some girl you picked up from a farmer’s market. Go to an orgy. Try and hook up with a stripper.

Find a girl with a weird fetish and see how it feels; just make sure you’re safe about everything. The point is to do something you’ve never done before and get closer to becoming completely uninhibited.

People in general, are sexually repressed, and go their whole lives without ever opening Pandora’s Box of sexual opportunities.

They never learn anything except the type of sex they teach you about in high school health classes—regular, boring Pilgrim sex that is almost specifically designated for procreation.

Everyone knows that sex is so much more than just a way to make more people; it’s a form of pleasure for humans (thanks evolution!), and is a way of connecting with someone else. It only makes sense to explore every corner of the dirty deed and force yourself to step out of your comfort zone.

5 Ways To Have More Sexual Self-Confidence: https://personallifemedia.com/2013/05/5-ways-to-have-more-sexual-self-confidence/

Girls, generally, assume guys will be terrible, boring, or awkward in bed. Even if they like you, they may not be totally thrilled with the way you go about pleasing them. They might even be consistently disappointed and never tell you, but if you can find a way to keep them excited or show them something they’ve never seen before, it’ll pay off for both of you.

I’m not saying you have to be as crazy with a girl you like as you were at the orgy you went to, but being in a heightened sexual experience will make you more free and direct when you’re intimate with her.

Think of it as accumulating wisdom, and then applying it to a situation that really matters. Girls are good enough people to sleep with us; the least we can do is put the time into understanding what makes them feel good. In a way, the less seriously you take sex, the better you will be at it.

Another important thing to be aware of, aside from expanding your sexual horizons, is taking care of yourself.

You could have the best of intentions, but if you’re in poor health from dehydration, smoking, or a bad diet, your body just won’t do what it’s supposed to do.

This may not have been the case when you saw your high school English teacher’s cleavage at sixteen and were hard as a police baton for the next two days, but things are different now.

Your stress levels were lower, and your hormones were flowing at an all-time high, but as all guys get older it becomes increasingly more important to be aware of their health to get the same effect.

Exercise, a good diet, and lots and lots of water are the keys to a body that knows what to do at the right time. If you’re under the age of 30 without any serious health problems and feel like you need to get prescription for Viagra, you may want to consider a lifestyle change first.

One could argue that one of the most gratifying experiences on earth is sex, but this is only true when you get creative about it and break free of the boilerplate, garden variety stuff everyone else is doing.

No one is saying to go out and do something unsafe, but being a little adventurous will teach you things, and make you more confident in your abilities.

Every girl has different preferences and things that turn them on, but the only way you can figure out what those things are is by experimenting. Who knows, you may even show a girl something she didn’t know she liked and help her discover a new part of herself.

Sex should never be one-sided, and it’s your responsibility as a man, more importantly as a human being, to value the act and get good at it.

Otherwise it’s just a waste of time, condoms, and fancy lingerie.

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Christopher Gramuglia

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Chris is a writer, photographer and holds a master's degree in creative writing. He is working on a novel about dating in the digital age, and is an expert on topics like social dynamics and how to navigate the modern dating scene.

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