Is it possible to disagree with a woman, and increase her attraction towards you?
Oh young grasshopper… not only is it possible, it’s downright necessary from time to time… especially with the sort of hot, stuck-up girls who are used to everyone bending to their every whim.
So let me tell you a short story from Miami.
The Delano is a swanky/sexy/chic hotel, and attracts a similar crowd. You need to know someone, or have a room key, to get in the front door for their Sunday afternoon parties. My type of place.
Exactly the sort of place that you find attractive, confident women. Those rarified few who have their lives together, take care of themselves, and are looking for a guy who’s got his head screwed on straight, but hasn’t lost his sense of fun.
While waiting for the elevator, I was joined by a few such women, headed up to their rooms for a break from the party.
Have they been drinking? Yep. Are they having fun? For sure. One of them takes the lead on yours truly. Attractive girl.
“Heyyyyy what’s up” she says to me. Turns around. “Do you like my tattoo?”
It’s a tramp stamp. And not a particularly good one.
“Hmmm.. honestly… no.”
Friendly, nonchalant smile on my face. No harsh judgment, no ill feelings. It’s just, you know… a pretty shitty tattoo.
If you were watching a slow-mo replay, what happened next would be textbook social dynamics in action. She’s momentarily stunned, then snaps her whole body to face mine.
Them hips don’t lie.
“Yeah…. neither do I. I got it when I was 16 and I kinda wish I didn’t.”
Friendly Pause and Buffer here. Lots of Expression. You what I’m talking about if you’ve seen our premium training program Fearless. “Really? Interesting.”
Now she’s really interested. “So uhhh…. what’s your name?”
The exchange continues for 30 or so seconds till she reaches her floor. Were I more of a scoundrel, and not so excited to be seeing my girlfriend today after a few weeks of being apart, I’ve no doubt I could’ve walked out the elevator with her, and would have been warmly welcomed in her private quarters.
But that’s not my style, and that’s not the point, of course. The point is that this is a real-world example of confidence in action.
And a lot of guys have a hard time doing stuff like this.
I’ve been reviewing a few text exchanges in our Social Man Community lately, and I keep seeing this pattern, where the guy is just so AGREEABLE, and it ends up turning the girl off.
Well, no woman finds a pushover to be attractive. She wants a man with his own opinions, beliefs, and convictions. It’s feels gross to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t challenge you a little bit.
So a small, friendly statement of disagreement – especially early on in the interaction – demonstrates confidence, certainty, and immediately tells her what type of guy she’s dealing with.
Don’t be afraid to disagree with a girl, challenge her, or state your opinions. Do it in a friendly, unattached way, and she’ll like you more for it.
Let me repeat that last statement again: do it in a friendly, unattached way.
It’s critical you get this: there’s a difference between a small disagreement, and being disagreeable.
We had one client – I remember analyzing some hidden mic convos for him – when he’d disagree with girls, he would belabor the point in an attempt to prove he was right. So his interactions weren’t fun. They were boring, logical, and turned girls off. They stayed focused on the topics. Save that stuff for when you’re testifying in front of the U.N. General Assembly.