It’s Friday night, and you’re getting ready to head out to your favorite bar to mingle with the rest of the single world.
You’ve got your confidence in check. Your outfit is on point, and your smile is bright because you have a feeling that tonight is the night you’ll meet someone special.
You can just feel it.
After throwing back a few craft beers with the guys in the bar, you look down at your watch and realize the night is over. Your cell phone has no new numbers in it; no girls are hugging you goodnight – and you’re not really sure why you didn’t meet anyone.
You had a few conversations with some cute girls, right? None of them flat-out smiled and said, “F*ck off!” So where did you go wrong?
The problem is you didn’t read the signs that were so clearly waved in your face, and you didn’t know how to recover once you discovered she was uninterested.
As a woman who knows the dating scene inside and out, I can tell you exactly what those signs are. I’ve narrowed it down to the three most common warning signs that tell she’s not interested, and I’ll even explain how to recover from them (you can thank me later):
The Warning Sign: After you offer to buy her a drink, she orders a shot from the bar
She orders a shot of Jack, and in your head, you’re doing the Carlton happy-go-lucky dance because you think you’ve caught yourself a party girl.
In her head, she’s giving herself a pep talk, telling herself to just down the shot so she doesn’t have to stick around for an entire drink.
In a girl’s mind, ordering a shot means she can hang around for a minimum of 5 minutes before running to the bathroom and “accidentally” getting lost in the crowd.
How To Recover: Don’t ask if you can buy her a drink; ask if she’d like an (insert exotic drink choice here) and have a story behind your choice
The best defense is a good offense, right? So, never ask her if she’d like a drink. Ask her if she’d like a specific drink.
This tip takes the option of a quick shot off the table, and it makes for great a conversation topic because you can tell her about the time you drank caipirinhas in Brazil or whatever story for the drink you offer.
If she still wants a shot, let her take one and then count the minutes until she runs off to the bathroom. If you can’t sell a girl on a drink choice, what makes you think you’re going to convince her to go out on a date? Perfect the art of offering a specific drink, friend.
The Warning Sign: She keeps smiling over at her friends as you’re talking to her
This innocent looking gesture might seem sweet, but what she’s actually doing is raising a red flag and waiting to be rescued by her friends. When a girl is interested in you and what you have to say, she won’t be “worried about her friends.”
I know you’ve heard that line before because I’ve used it plenty of times. It’s a polite way of saying, “I’d rather be over there with my friends and not here with you.”
How To Recover: Bring one of her friends into the conversation for 5 minutes before asking if you can “steal” your date away for a few minutes to (talk outside, get a drink at the bar, hit the dance floor, etc)
Most of the time, all it takes is a friend’s approval for a conversation to continue between you and your date.
The Warning Sign: She slips that she doesn’t give out her number to people into the conversation
You and I both know this is a lie. The truth is that she’s not feeling it, but she doesn’t want to be a jerk and say it flat out.
How To Recover: Slide in a ‘Facebook Add’ during your conversation
You got her to stay for a chat, and you’ve been on the topic of travel, horror movies, or old 90’s tv shows for the last 10 minutes. This is the perfect time to grab contact info by asking if you can add her on Facebook so you can send her (insert topic related article, video, link here) via messenger. Boom. You’ve got a way to contact her and an actual reason to send her a message that’ll sound casual.
In any of these red flag situations what’s most important is to keep calm, and remember that your time and conversation is worth more than a shot of liquor and a cold shoulder.
Always stay the classy and confident Rock Star that you are.